Popcorn... SCHMOPCORN!

That's right, popcorn fiends, I hate all of you! While I'm not a big fan of it, generally, I don't have a disdain for the poppycorn, but the drowning sounds made by it's natching consumers is what irks my gurk! Why are people determined to NOT close their mouths whilst chewing on this confection? It's as if everytime I go to a picture show, I'm surrounded by bubble gum poppin' Pink Ladies and that just can't be right. Can it?!

My friend Sean (not to be confused with Martin & Lewis' film debut, MY FRIEND IRMA) and I have shared the same thought that if we were to own a movie theater, in a perfect world filled with blue skies and fluffy cotton candy clouds, that we wouldn't serve popcorn. On one hand, it would be sacrilegious to not offer the food forever linked to the film-going experience, but on the other hand, it might prove to be a refreshing change of pace. But, then, there's cheese flavored popcorn, which never gets the recognition it deserves...

Just a thought.

3D Video

I've often passed by this place. It's an Asian video rental outlet, with an odd and somewhat confusing name. What's the 3D in reference to? One of these days, I'm going to make it my mission to pester the employees at this store by demanding three-dimensional films in both the anaglyphic and field-sequential formats. "Yes, do you have METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN? How about SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE? You know, the one with Peter Strauss! What about TREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS, BLONDE EMMANUELLE or KISS ME KATE? Surely, you must have those titles in stock! What kind of a 3-D rental store are you running here?! You don't even have an Earl Owensby section?! Ridiculous!"

Fleece out.

UPDATE: 04/23/08
Store no longer in biz.

CineCraze Double Feature Trailer Show

Do you love theatrical trailers? Really?! Me too!

There's a new sheriff in town!

Announcing the CINECRAZE DOUBLE FEATURE TRAILER SHOW!

That's right, kiddies! Double means more than one!

Two... count 'em... TWO trailers on the same program!

That's TWO trailers to TWO different films (unless I goof) on the same mind-numbing double bill! Can your heart stand it?! It should, since they're all completely 100% free of any cholesterol of any sort!

http://youtube.com/johnmorghen

So, check 'em out! Updating regularly and irregularly, just like this blog! Awesome!

Tinto Brass sighting at Wal-Mart!

You know, I never thought I'd see the day when Tinto Brass' troubled epic, CALIGULA, would grace the shelves of a Wal-Mart. Sure, it's the rated version, but still... it's CALIGULA ...at Wal-Mart!

I was tempted to ask the sales associate if they planned on carrying other Tinto Brass films, such as FRIVOLOUS LOLA, THE KEY and MIRANDA (starring Serena GGGGRRRRRandi). Of course, I already know the answer to that one. "Huh? Not sure on those titles, although we should be getting a shipment of ALL LADIES DO IT and a horde of Aristide Massacesi fare by next week, sir. Sam Walton was always a fan."

Midnite On A Tuesday Morning

Tuesday is DVD new release day and this particular Tuesday marks a special occasion: the return of MGM's Midnite Movies! The usual Midnite Movies ritual began at 8:05 am at Fry's Electronics (my seemingly home away from home). I decided earlier that I would pass on any of the higher priced releases, such as "From Beyond" and "The Return Of The Living Dead" Special Edition (both were $14.99) and "The Fly" Collection at $29.99(!), and shop strictly for all the MGM/Fox titles at $9.99 each.

I was in and out within fifteen minutes and got everything I had planned on. Mission accomplished!

Midnite Movies (MGM):

IMDB Idiot of the Moment: fistoffury

The following was originally posted on IMDB
The place: Message boards for Alia Shawkat
Look for me, "johnmorghen"!

Thread: "Not that good looking" by fistoffury

fistoffury:
Alia is not all that good looking, she is at best, grungy looking. This is best seen in movies such as Deck the Halls where she looks so plain and mediocre next to those two twin knockouts. So I dont see why people are going head over heels for her, she isnt all that great.

Long story short is that he pisses off her fans with such a comment and I eventually jump in, having also researched fistoffury's message board history, which, turns out to be quite as sad and immature as his recent comment.

johnmorghen:
Just so everyone knows, "fistoffury" is a sad case, and when he isn't posting crap like this or thought-provoking debates such as "Unicron vs. Superman" or "MacGyver Vs. Jigsaw," he enjoys berating various actors and characters. Here are two samples from his message board history:

Hayden is a girl's name!!!
"Just so you all know, Hayden is a girl's name! Therefore Hayden Christensen is a boy with a girl's name! ha ha HA! You see, there is this girl, Hayden, who stars in this television show called Heroes. Hayden is the name of the actress, whose a girl, therefore, Hayden Christensen has a girl's name. That must be very embarrassing for him."

OR, this gem:

Kermit and Fozzie are gay
"Especially in this muppet movie, its made obvious enough that Kermit and Fozzie are gay. The earlier muppet movies hint at their homosexuality but this one really hits home. Kermit, who sings the song "Rainbow Connection" is unusually neat, and who is delicate and feminine, we know from that much hes gay. Fozzie immediately hooks up with him in the first muppet movie and they stay closely hooked throughout the rest of their careers as muppets, the two are unseperable. In this movie, as well as some of the earlier movies Kermit has a hard time returning Miss Piggy's affections. In this movie, when they all split up and Fozzie goes into hybernating, when a female bear snuggles up to him he screams for Kermit. In this movie when Piggy and Kermit get married Kermit is hesitant to say "I do." The whole wedding was just an obvious cover up for Kermit's homosexuality and for his affairs with Fozzie. The real ending would show Kermit and Fozzie going off into the sunset together."

Anyone's desire to post on an IMDB message board for an actor whom they do not like, to criticize them while offending true fans, should speak volumes about their insecurities and their lack of well-spent personal time. "fistoffury" is immature to say the least and these posts concerning Alia Shawkat should be dismissed entirely.

"L'Ultimo Horror Philm"

Here's the opening title sequence from my final horror compilation (the sixth in a series; produced in 1996) featuring dozens of film clips. Vintage nathanville entertainment! Pleasant screams!

Film House Fever (1979-1995)

To appease myself, I've opted to compile a growing list of all the films I've seen theatrically (yes, I was bored when I came up with the idea). Since I've had a mental block (i.e. 1982), I might occasionally update with further specifics, such as: actual theaters, multiple screenings and Disney re-releases (saw a ton in the '80s, just not sure what year), et cetera. Most all titles are first-run, unless otherwise indicated.

The list is divided by year from 1979 (my first theatrical experience) to 1995 (my theorized cut off, since I actually enjoyed everything I saw theatrically up to that point).

1979

• THE MUPPET MOVIE

1980

• THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
• POPEYE
• NINE TO FIVE *
• SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT, PART II *
• STAR WARS (Re-release)

1981

• CLASH OF THE TITANS
• THE FOX AND THE HOUND
• THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER
• THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN *
• THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER
• SUPERMAN II

1982

• ANNIE
• E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL

1983

• A CHRISTMAS STORY
• THE CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER
• JAWS 3-D
• RETURN OF THE JEDI ***
• SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
• STAYING ALIVE *
• THE TOY *

1984

• CITY HEAT
• GHOSTBUSTERS
• INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
• THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN
• PINOCCHIO
• ROMANCING THE STONE
• STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK

1985

• BABY: SECRET OF THE LOST LEGEND
• BACK TO THE FUTURE
• THE COLOR PURPLE
• E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (Re-release)
• FLETCH
• RETURN TO OZ
• ROCKY IV
• A VIEW TO A KILL

1986

• THE GOLDEN CHILD
• THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE
• HOWARD THE DUCK *
• THE KARATE KID, PART II
• LABYRINTH
• LADY AND THE TRAMP (Re-release)
• LEGAL EAGLES ***
• POLICE ACADEMY 3: BACK IN TRAINING
• SHORT CIRCUIT
• STAND BY ME
• STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME ***
• TOUGH GUYS

1987

• *batteries not included
• BLIND DATE
• BORN IN EAST L.A.
• DIRTY DANCING
• HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS
• JAWS: THE REVENGE
• LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON
• MANNEQUIN
• MOONSTRUCK
• OVERBOARD
• THE PICK-UP ARTIST
• POLICE ACADEMY 4: CITIZENS ON PATROL
• PROJECT X
• ROXANNE
• SPACEBALLS
• TEEN WOLF TOO
• THREE MEN AND A BABY

1988

• ARTHUR 2: ON THE ROCKS
• BEETLEJUICE
• BIG
• BILOXI BLUES
• CROCODILE DUNDEE II
• LICENSE TO DRIVE
• THE MILAGRO BEANFIELD WAR
• SWITCHING CHANNELS
• TEQUILA SUNRISE
• THROW MOMMA FROM THE TRAIN
• TWINS
• VICE VERSA
• WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?
• WILLOW

1989

• BATMAN
• BLACK RAIN
• GHOSTBUSTERS II
• HER ALIBI
• HIGH SPIRITS
• LETHAL WEAPON 2
• LOOK WHO'S TALKING
• NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION ***
• PARENTHOOD
• UNCLE BUCK

1990

• AIR AMERICA
• ARACHNOPHOBIA
• AWAKENINGS
• DANCES WITH WOLVES
• DICK TRACY
• EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
• GHOST
• HOME ALONE
• THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER ***
• LIONHEART
• OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS
• PRESUMED INNOCENT
• STANLEY & IRIS
• TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: THE MOVIE
• THREE MEN AND A LITTLE LADY
• YOUNG GUNS II

1991

• THE ADDAMS FAMILY
• CITY SLICKERS
• DOC HOLLYWOOD
• THE FISHER KING
• FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE
• HOOK
• HOT SHOTS!
• JFK
• THE LAST BOY SCOUT
• PROBLEM CHILD 2
• ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES
• SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY
• STAR TREK VI: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY
• TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
• WHAT ABOUT BOB?

1992

• ALIEN³
• BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA
• HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK
• HOUSESITTER
• LADYBUGS
• MO' MONEY
• MY COUSIN VINNY
• SCENT OF A WOMAN
• UNDER SIEGE
• UNFORGIVEN
• UNLAWFUL ENTRY
• WAYNE'S WORLD ***

1993

• CARLITO'S WAY
• CLIFFHANGER
• DRAGON: THE BRUCE LEE STORY
• FALLING DOWN
• THE FIRM
• GRUMPY OLD MEN
• JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY
• LAST ACTION HERO
• LETHAL WEAPON 3
• NATIONAL LAMPOON'S LOADED WEAPON 1
• THE PROGRAM (Uncut)
• RISING SUN
• SCHINDLER'S LIST
• SOMMERSBY
• SPLITTING HEIRS
• WAYNE'S WORLD 2
• WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S II

1994

• ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE
• THE CROW ***
• DUMB AND DUMBER ***
• KILLING ZOE
• MAJOR LEAGUE II
• THE MASK
• MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE **
• NATURAL BORN KILLERS
• PULP FICTION ***
• STAR TREK: GENERATIONS
• TRUE LIES

1995

• BATMAN FOREVER (OR.)
• CONGO (OR.)
• DESPERADO (TX.)
• DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE (OR.)
• FATHER OF THE BRIDE, PART II (TX.)
• GOLDENEYE (TX.)
• GRUMPIER OLD MEN (OR.)
• HACKERS (TX.)
• HALLOWEEN ** (OR.)
• HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (TX.)
• HEAT (TX.)
• LORD OF ILLUSIONS (TX.)
• MORTAL KOMBAT (OR.)
• OUTBREAK *** (OR.)
• THE PROPHECY (TX.)
• PSYCHO (1960) ** (OR.)
• SPECIES (OR.)
• TANK GIRL (OR.)
• UNDER SIEGE 2: DARK TERRITORY (OR.)
• VIRTUOSITY (I actually despised this one.) (OR.)
• WATERWORLD (I initially enjoyed this one, but my belief is that I was desperate for another "Mad Max" clone, and it had been a while since my last viewing of "Exterminators In The Year 3000". ACK!) (OR.)
  
  * Midway Drive-In
  ** OSU Campus Screening
  *** Multiple Screening

Awesome Overheard Conversation du jour

To set the scene, I'm standing in the front of the checkout line at Best Buy. Directly up above me is a television monitor showing promo spots and music videos. The sight of the trailer to THE PINK PANTHER remake astounds the young couple behind me. Now, just imagine you're a miniaturized Dennis Quaid, living inside my ear, and listen (to what the flower people say)...

Guy: "Ahhh, I love that movie!"
Girl: "Yeah, it was really funny!"
Guy: "Steve Martin's soooo funny!"
Girl: "Who is that one guy? Kevin Kline?"
Guy: "I'm not sure. Hey, who played the Pink Panther?"
Girl: "Dunno."
Guy: "Oh, that's right. He was animated."
Girl: "Yeah, I don't think he's actually a character in the film."
Guy: "That's soooo STUPID! Why do they have him animated and the movie's called PINK PANTHER and he's not even in it?!"
Girl: "Dunno."
Best Buy Cashier: "Next!"
Nathan: "Thank Christ!"
Scene fades as Nathan is seen giving a non-approving nod to cashier who informs him that with today's purchase he will receive 8 free issues of blah-blah-blah...
END SCENE

Cast of Characters:
"Nathan" - - - - Himself
"Guy" - - - - Some doorknob with a pooka-shell necklace
"Girl" - - - - Some girl with a turd-like face and matching figure
"Best Buy Cashier" - - - - Himself (part-time)

Special thanks: Rick James, Antonio Carlos Jobim, Supertramp and The Rolling Stones.


The preceding post is dedicated to the memory of Peter Sellers, but not to the lack of memory and/or common sense of others.

Delta Force 3: The Killing Game

For years, I avoided this film. No Chuck Norris = No Nathan Martin! But as a true Cannon aficionado (granted, I'm not a huge fan of the post-Golan Cannon films, of which, this is one), I eventually got around to watching it. Sam Firstenberg's direction is a definite plus. Firstenberg nearly patterned the Cannon Films' action mold, so how could I truly pass this up? Any film should make an early attempt at grabbing it's audience's interest and this film does a fine job as we are treated to a topless female. From that point, no longer was this film just playing in the background. I then promptly took a front row seat.

Before Nick Cassavetes (son of Gena Rowlands and John Cassavetes) became the accomplished filmmaker we now know him as, he starred in a slew of "b" pictures. Here he heads the JOYRIDE* style cast of fellow second generation actors, Mike Norris, Eric Douglas and Matthew Penn. Unfortunately, the film suffers from a horrible score (which incorporates and butchers Alan Silvestri's terrific theme from the original). I'm no composer for certain, but I've done much better pieces on my Casio.

I'm always looking for film connections and since both Nick Cassavetes and Matthew Penn are in this, could this have been the introduction of Nick to Matthew's brother, Sean Penn, thereby resulting in SHE'S SO LOVELY? I'd like to think so, and therefore, this film deserves mention.

Not too thought-provoking and surely nothing in the classic sense, yet overall, DELTA FORCE 3 serves as a nice time killer. Naturally, this is nowhere near the fun of THE DELTA FORCE or DELTA FORCE 2: THE COLOMBIAN CONNECTION (a.k.a. DELTA FORCE 2: OPERATION STRANGLEHOLD) and Chuck Norris' absense is surely felt.

The DVD is one for the "bare bones" pile, offering one more feature than that of a "Universal Selection"... an actual menu. I'm sticking with my laserdisc.


* JOYRIDE is a Joseph Ruben film which coincidentally features second generation actors in the four lead roles: Desi Arnaz, Jr., Robert Carradine, Melanie Griffith and Anne Lockhart.

John Carpenter's "Cigarette Burns"

To me, the best thing about Mick Garris' MASTERS OF HORROR series is the return to form for some of my absolute favorite horror filmmakers.

CIGARETTE BURNS is a great example of all the right elements falling into place and giving a great showcase for a director who deserves just that. Some will say this film is a return to form for Carpenter. I disagree, simply because I am a devout Carpenter fan and have appreciated all his films. SO THERE!

Norman Reedus is always good (even in the insane SIX WAYS TO SUNDAY). The plot itself is an obvious parallel to Roman Polanski's highly underrated THE NINTH GATE. Another connection I noticed was that the main character's mission in each film is assigned by a former Dracula, Frank Langella in THE NINTH GATE and Udo Kier in this film. Aside from these similarities, the story works quite well. I have to say that while the premise may seem ridiculous in theory, I've always followed the logic of trusting filmmakers and there are some who have betrayed that trust. Brings to mind my fear/fascination of certain films and/or the legends behind them and their filmmakers. SALO being a perfect example.

Without giving anything away, there's a particular moment where a character stabs himself in not one, but both eye sockets, with a seemingly six-inch-long instrument. That's fine. But to portray the moment as if the same instrument would not penetrate and kill the brain, instead leaving the character continuing to speak, is completely absurd and, for me, hard to overlook. That's my "oh well" gripe for today.

Note: Cody Carpenter (son of John Carpenter and Adrienne Barbeau) makes his film scoring debut here and it's a nice, subtle work.

Mansion Of The Doomed

Nothing quite says love and devotion like MANSION OF THE DOOMED. No, I'm not suggesting a future Valentine's gift for that special someone (although, the DVD did come out recently and it might get you more sugar than a previously viewed Bingo brand VHS could).

For whatever reason, I really dig this bizarre film. The late, great Richard Basehart stars as Dr. Chaney, an eye surgeon determined to make medical history by restoring eyesight to the blind, with the help of some unwitting and unwilling donors. His blind daughter is his test subject. The first surgery goes alright, except that her vision cuts off shortly after, provoking Chaney to seek another donor. Needless to say, the following surgery has the same side effect, causing the determined Chaney to prey upon nearly every acquaintance he meets, subjecting his daughter to countless additional surgeries. Soon he has a collection of "the eyeless" in his laboratory. Clearly Chaney doesn't follow the wisdom of the great W.C. Fields. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no sense making a damn fool of yourself!" So many victims, so little eyesight, what to do, what to do, tisk, tisk...

SEE Lance Henriksen get his eyeballs "lanced," and therefore he can no longer SEE!
HEAR the continual moaning of Dr. Chaney's eyeless prisoners!
SEE an escapee hit by a passing motor vehicle. They can't see, remember?!
HEAR an unauthorized cue from Pink Floyd's "Welcome To The Machine" in an early nightmare sequence!

FEEL cheated by the fact that exploitation film goddess Marilyn Joi bares no extra skin!
KNOW that actor Michael Pataki directed this film and also collaborated with producer Charles Band again on ZOLTAN... HOUND OF DRACULA!

DIG the entire affair from beginning to end!

PLEASE be KIND and REWIND!

USA Network Memories

A long time ago, from a cable box and/or satellite far, far away...
Back in the day, the USA Network had to be one of the best cable networks around. This channel provided so much in genres of horror, sci-fi and exploitation. Basically, films you may never see on television again, severely truncated or not. Honestly, what other network had the nerve to air Paul Morrisey films, such as FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN and BLOOD FOR DRACULA? Sure, they were edited beyond recognition at points, packed with re-composed shots of an actor's face being super-zoomed-in on during a moment of bodily torment. Imagine the shot in "Frankenstein" when Udo Kier's hand is severed or the moment when his character meets it's demise in a "dis-heartening" (Spoiler alert... Ah, too late!) form of punishment. "What's happening to Udo?! He looks constipated!"
My point is that commercial television won't pay these films such consideration, ever again. And, that's a shame, considering how such airings broadened my film tastes and influenced me to seek out the uncut versions to these classic and not-so classic films.

For what it's worth, here's a brief list of some of the films I had the pleasure to witness on vintage USA, circa 1987-1991...

As seen on COMMANDER USA's GROOVIE MOVIES:

• AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
• THE BLOOD BEAST TERROR
• C.H.U.D.
• DEMONOID
• DEVIL'S NIGHTMARE
• DOCTOR DRACULA
• THE FINAL TERROR
• FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL
• LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH
• NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (Colorized)
• A POLISH VAMPIRE IN BURBANK
• THE SWARM
• TOXIC ZOMBIES

As seen on USA SATURDAY NIGHTMARES:

• AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
• THE APPOINTMENT
• BASKET CASE
• BLOODBATH AT THE HOUSE OF DEATH
• THE BROOD
• THE CHILDREN
• DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS
• DAY OF THE DEAD
• DEADLY EYES
• DEVIL TIMES FIVE
• DREAM SLAYER (BLOOD SONG)
• THE EXORCIST
• EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC
• GROTESQUE
• THE HAND
• HELLO, MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II
• IT'S ALIVE
• IT LIVES AGAIN (IT'S ALIVE 2)
• LASERBLAST
• THE LONG DARK NIGHT (THE PACK)
• NEON MANIACS
• NIGHT OF THE CREEPS
• NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (Colorized)
• OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN
• THE POSSESSION OF JOEL DELANEY
• Q - THE WINGED SERPENT
• RABID
• RAIDERS OF THE LIVING DEAD
• RAZORBACK
• SHOCK WAVES
• SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 4: INITIATION
• SLUGS
• TOURIST TRAP
• THE UNSEEN
• THE VIDEO DEAD
• ZOLTAN... HOUND OF DRACULA
• ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE

Not to mention all of the great films, horrorific or not, appearing late nite on Friday and Saturday's installments of USA UP! ALL NIGHT, hosted respectively by Rhonda Shear and Gilbert Gottfried. Good times.

Romasanta: The Werewolf Hunt

I had heard about this film under it's original title, ROMASANTA, but lost track of it. Since I love me some werewolves, I recently found a DVD titled WEREWOLF HUNTER, and to my surprise, it's the same film. Of course, this is the less-impressive American title and the DVD is available through Lionsgate with two different covers (both quite atrocious and not worth showcasing here). Having little choice, I grabbed this inferior version and loved the film.

Without giving too much away, this isn't your typical lycanthropic affair. This aspect may turn off some viewers, but that's what makes the film so special. Director Paco Plaza delivers a refreshing, original take on a well-established folk tale.

Julian Sands is terrific as always, but the real standout here is newcomer Elsa Pataky. She's gorgeous and fits the precedings quite well. (Not to mention, her bathtub scene... Yowza! Yowza! Yowza!)

The Legend of Klinton Spilsbury

Whatever happened to that masked man, anyhow? Klinton Spilsbury had the leading role in 1981's THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER and ironically, 24 years later (despite false reports) that film remains his lone film credit. Who was he? How did he get the role? Was his name not "household" enough to catch on? And more importantly, did he actually ride off into the sunset as his character was about to do at the end of the film? Now, that's commitment, perhaps the strongest case of method acting ever known!

As I remember the film, it was a hit... then again, I was 4 years old and knew no better. After seeing the film in the theater, I was hooked and had to have the inevitable memorabilia... action figures, View-Master reels, Lone Ranger disguise, et cetera. So, my perception was a bit skewed. I assumed the movie was a hit due to the merchandise surrounding it's release (this was 1981, a different era... merchandising wasn't as extreme as it is now). Alas, the film made a very small impact at the box office and also for the expectations of it's legacy.

Back to our leading star...
So, why didn't Klinton Spilsbury go on to make another film? Did the film's lack of success with both critics and audiences destroy his aspirations to continue as an actor? Or, was it the dubbing of his entire performance by another actor (supposedly James Keach)? What did Klinton Spilsbury sound like? Was he truly an actor? Maybe he was a complete nobody discovered by the film's producers or a model who couldn't act chosen only for his look. Was the dubbing a result of negative test screenings or was it an agreement from the beginning that his performance would be dubbed? Whatever the reason, Spilsbury got his share of bad reviews, not to mention a Raspberry award for "worst new star" of that year. Certainly, all of this could drive a person to reconsider their prospects and, perhaps, leave the business entirely.

As for the film, I haven't seen it in it's entirety since it's initial release. Caught fragments here and there on HBO as a kid, but never paid notice to the film's troubled history. So, my quest is to watch the film again for the first time, with a renewed sense as to whether the film works or not. Does it truly deserve all the bad publicity it has gotten throughout the years? It's certain that my childhood fondness for the film will take hold and I will have a biased opinion, but then, the critics of 1981 did not grow up with the film or own any of the beloved tie-in material as I did. Granted, they probably all grew up with the Clayton Moore incarnation on television and had a tough time seeing anyone else in the role. I can understand that completely. Moore was and is the standard for the role, along with Jay Silverheels as the Ranger's faithful sidekick, Tonto. On the other hand, THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER was a product of the same era as Richard Donner's big screen SUPERMAN and I'm sure all those invested had hoped the end result would mirror that same level of greatness. George Reeves was the standard for Superman, but then, so was Christopher Reeve.

Having gone through all the possible scenarios, there's only one thing left for me to do (short of tracking down Spilsbury and interrogating him profusely) and that is to take in a viewing of THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER in the form the late Lord Grade doth presented to us.

TO BE CONTINUED...

CLICK HERE FOR THE CONTINUATION