The Year In Ticket Stubs (thus far)...

January 9th, 2010:
IT'S COMPLICATED

I enjoyed this one, but mostly because of the company I had to see it with. And, poking smot can be quite entertaining.


January 22nd:
THE LOVELY BONES

I really wanted to like this film, but ultimately there was no satisfaction, particularly with the climax. Felt like a '70s-era hybrid of WHAT DREAMS MAY COME and STIR OF ECHOES. An interesting concept at first, proving tedious along the way, and afterwards, I wondered why I cared about these characters for two hours. Good to see Michael Imperioli in a period film, though. I couldn't quite place what '70s film I could see him in, but DOG DAY AFTERNOON continually went through my mind.


January 23rd:
YOUTH IN REVOLT

Fun and highly inventive coming-of-age story. This one deserves another chance, simply because of the non-perky mood I was in that day and the carbon-copy lame duck sitting a few seats away (decked in an oversized suit, David Byrne-wannabe style) who seemed to chuckle annoyingly at nearly every screen direction. Takes the wind out of the sails a bit when I legitimately think something is funny and want to laugh aloud.


February 3rd:
EDGE OF DARKNESS

Mel Gibson makes a welcome return to form in this slow burn of an action drama, which could easily round out an unofficial Gibson trilogy with RANSOM and PAYBACK. I was excited about this film once I saw the leaked trailer months ago. With Martin Campbell directing, Gibson's return to the screen couldn't have been in better hands. The opportunist at heart makes me wish there had been a tie-in "got milk" ad campaign featuring Danny Huston.


February 7th:
CRAZY HEART

Traditionally, every Super Bowl Sunday, I take in a showing of some film, knowing the crowd will be virtually non-existent, and also because I care nothing about sports. (Someone asked me that day who I was rooting for, to which I replied, "The Who.") Anyhow, I've always admired Jeff Bridges and I enjoyed this film as much as I thought I would. Bridges gives off that Kristofferson vibe and through all of his character's hang-ups, shines as someone you truly care about. The soundtrack is no slouch either and definitely worth picking up.


February 10th:
FROM PARIS WITH LOVE

When I initially saw the trailer for this film, and later the poster and T.V. spots, I wasn't impressed at all. The title didn't win me over, either. But, for some reason, I felt like seeing it. Maybe because I was in the mood for some type of John Travolta fix or maybe it was because I also like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, or, maybe, just maybe, it had more to do with the fact that I was willing to switch my mind off and settle in for a balls-to-the-wall action film. I'm glad I decided to see this film. I really enjoyed it, perhaps because I truly didn't have big expectations for it. In any case, the film works due to Travolta's performance. He's having so much fun on-screen that the vibe seems infectious. The blink-and-you-might-miss-it pseudo-cameo of Kelly Preston sitting in the background in one scene and, also, Travolta's PULP FICTION reference (think Europe) were nice touches.


February 12th (and 17th):
THE WOLFMAN (2010)

Anyone who knows me knows I've always been obsessed by movie monsters and it all started with the Universal monsters of yesteryear. While I'm not generally a fan of remakes, films like this make me giddy like a 5-year-old kid. Once I read an interview with Rick Baker mentioning how he signed on because it was important to him that the werewolf not be some CG-rendered creature, I was already sold. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON is one of my all-time faves and this felt like a nod in that direction, in addition to paying tribute to the original WOLF MAN. Of course, I'm a bit biased when it comes to werewolf fare (the practical effects variety) and it doesn't take much more to persuade me once I know that Baker is in his element and two actors that I'm obsessed with (Benecio Del Toro and the growl-inducing Emily Blunt) are in tow. I will admit that I wasn't crazy with the plot changes from the original, sort of takes the focus away from THE wolf man that this film is about, but I really can't complain. The film reminded me a lot of John Badham's DRACULA, including Danny Elfman's music, which seemed to echo the underrated John Williams score. Nice also to catch Baker's cameo in addition to a brief appearance by another AMERICAN WEREWOLF alum, David Schofield. Hugo Weaving brought great scene-chewing flair to his role and he came off here reminding me very much of Sam Neill (and that's a good thing). It took a long time getting here but, to me, THE WOLFMAN was worth the wait.


March 3rd:
AVATAR

When James Cameron made the speech at the Golden Globes, something to the effect of "If you haven't seen AVATAR already, you must be the only one," I felt as if he was speaking directly to me. Okay, so I waited to see this one for a good while, simply because it didn't interest me. But, after learning more about the film (i.e. Giovanni Ribisi is in it), I felt like maybe I was missing out. The mystery was there and it seemed like anyone who told me about it, spouted nothing other than "You've just got to see it. It's amazing." I usually don't lean towards the hype, in fact, such constant accolade makes me wait even longer to see something, and also, an empty theater never hurts. On the eve of another big-scale 3-D film's release (Tim Burton's ALICE IN WONDERLAND), I figured I should finally see AVATAR in 3-D before it's too late. I'm not one to bash films, at least in review form, since I feel it's a waste of my time to speak about something I don't care for, but I really tried to like AVATAR. Honest, I did. But, I just couldn't. Maybe it's because I'm so anti-CG, but with Cameron's films, that has never been a problem since his work has always been devoted to furthering the creative form. I really like Sam Worthington and I found the human story intriguing, but I couldn't sustain my interest beyond that. I'd liken it to a fireworks display. Most people love them, because of the "ooh and ahhh" factor, but I've never been big on flash alone. The film is certainly a visual feast, which is beautiful to look at, but after a while, I just didn't care anymore. And, if I don't care about that story, then it's going to be a long, long road to closing in on that approximate 160 minute running time. No disrespect to Cameron as the film is obviously well-made, but it just wasn't my bag. I made it to the 2-hour mark, went to the restroom and never went back. Sorry, folks. I realize it's me against the world on this one, but I'm quite used to that.


END SCENE

1989: Year of the Sequel

Few years have contained as incredible an amount of sequelitis as the final year of the 1980's. Quite fitting, as this was the decade in which the commercialization of the Hollywood blockbuster had truly flourished. Without further ado, here's the gigantic list of 1989's franchised follow-ups...

• AMERICAN NINJA 3: BLOOD HUNT
• BACK TO THE FUTURE, PART II
• BARBARIAN QUEEN II: THE EMPRESS STRIKES BACK
• BEYOND THE DOOR III
• C.H.U.D. II: BUD THE C.H.U.D.
• COBRA MISSION 2
• DANGER ZONE II: REAPER'S REVENGE
• EDDIE AND THE CRUISERS II: EDDIE LIVES
• FLESH GORDON AND THE COSMIC CHEERLEADERS
• FLETCH LIVES
• THE FLY II
• FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
• GHOSTBUSTERS II
• GNAW: FOOD OF THE GODS II
• THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY II
• GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
• HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS
• HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD II
• THE HORROR SHOW (HOUSE III)
• HOWLING V: THE REBIRTH
• INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE
• THE KARATE KID, PART III
• LETHAL WEAPON 2
• LICENCE TO KILL (BOND 16)
• NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION
• A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: THE DREAM CHILD
• OUTLAW OF GOR
• POLICE ACADEMY 6: CITY UNDER SIEGE
• THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING
• THE RETURN OF THE MUSKETEERS
• SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT III: BETTER WATCH OUT!
• SILK 2
• SLEEPAWAY CAMP III: TEENAGE WASTELAND
• SPEED ZONE! (CANNONBALL RUN III)
• STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER
• STEPFATHER II
• STRIPPED TO KILL II: LIVE GIRLS
• THE TOXIC AVENGER, PART II
• THE TOXIC AVENGER, PART III: THE LAST TEMPTATION OF TOXIE
• WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM II

'89 also saw the launch of franchises that would inspire their own continuations over the following years, such as: Tim Burton's BATMAN, BEST OF THE BEST, BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE, DEEPSTAR SIX, Disney's HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS, K-9, KILLER CROCODILE, LOOK WHO'S TALKING, MAJOR LEAGUE, MOONTRAP, RED SCORPION, SAVAGE BEACH, WARLOCK and WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S.

From 1987 to 1989, the amount of sequels seemed to increase little by little. Naturally, I've gone to great lengths (not really) to include lists for years '87 & '88, as well...

1988

• ANGEL III: THE FINAL CHAPTER
• ARTHUR 2: ON THE ROCKS
• BILOXI BLUES
• BLACK COBRA 2
• BRADDOCK: MISSING IN ACTION III
• CADDYSHACK II
• COCOON: THE RETURN
• CRITTERS 2: THE MAIN COURSE
• 'CROCODILE' DUNDEE II
• CURSE II: THE BITE
• THE DEAD POOL
• DEATH NURSE 2
• DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL
• THE DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION, PART II: THE METAL YEARS
• EMMANUELLE 6
• ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS
• FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD
• FRIGHT NIGHT, PART 2
• 'GATOR BAIT II: CAJUN JUSTICE
• HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS
• HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II
• HOWLING IV: THE ORIGINAL NIGHTMARE
• IRON EAGLE II
• L.A. CRACKDOWN II
• A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER
• NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER II: RAGING THUNDER
• PHANTASM II
• POLICE ACADEMY 5: ASSIGNMENT MIAMI BEACH
• POLTERGEIST III
• RAMBO III
• RETURN OF THE KILLER TOMATOES!
• RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, PART II
• RETURN TO SNOWY RIVER
• SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK
• SHORT CIRCUIT 2
• SLEEPAWAY CAMP II: UNHAPPY CAMPERS
• THUNDER WARRIOR III
• THE UNDERSTUDY: GRAVEYARD SHIFT II

1987

• AMERICAN NINJA 2: THE CONFRONTATION
• BENJI THE HUNTED
• BEVERLY HILLS COP II
• BIG BAD MAMA II
• THE CARE BEARS: ADVENTURE IN WONDERLAND
• CREEPSHOW 2
• CRIMINALLY INSANE II
• DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN
• DEATHSTALKER II: DUEL OF THE TITANS
• EMMANUELLE V
• EVIL DEAD II: DEAD BY DAWN
• GHOULIES II
• HELLO, MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II
• HOUSE II: THE SECOND STORY
• HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS
• IT'S ALIVE III: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE
• JAWS: THE REVENGE
• THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (BOND 15)
• A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS
• PENITENTIARY III
• POLICE ACADEMY 4: CITIZENS ON PATROL
• A RETURN TO SALEM'S LOT
• REVENGE OF THE NERDS II: NERDS IN PARADISE
• SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, PART 2
• SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE II
• SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE
• TEEN WOLF TOO
• THEY STILL CALL ME BRUCE

You're welcome.

1979: Year of the Vampire

According to the Chinese astrological calendar, 1979 was officially the "year of the ram," but in cinemas and on televised screens worldwide, it most certainly was the "year of the vampire".

Being that it was the end of the '70s, it could be argued that this was the best period for vampires on film. However, spoofs like DRACULA SUCKS and the much more successful LOVE AT FIRST BITE pretty much killed the movement. On with the list...

• THE CURSE OF DRACULA (T.V.)
• DRACULA (John Badham)
• DRACULA BITES THE BIG APPLE
• DRACULA BLOWS HIS COOL
• DRACULA SUCKS
• FASCINATION
• THE HALLOWEEN THAT ALMOST WASN'T (T.V.)
• LOVE AT FIRST BITE
• NOCTURNA
• NOSFERATU, THE VAMPIRE (Werner Herzog)
• SALEM'S LOT (T.V.)
• THIRST
• VAMPIRE (T.V.)

According to some sources, VAMPIRE HOOKERS and DRACULA'S LAST RITES might have been included in that same year of release, however, both films have conflicting release dates accredited to them. (1978 & 1980, respectively.)

He's a Fly Guy!

Today was my second viewing of Jon Favreau's IRON MAN. Damn good stuff. Certainly the best Marvel comics-inspired film (not a truly difficult feat when you stop to think about it) and a nice little "I told you so" memo to those who never thought Robert Downey, Jr. could pull it off.

The IRON-ic matter is that these naysayers and newcomers are "discovering" or re-discovering Downey and seeking his previous work. On one hand, I believe it's a good thing, on the other, it reminds me of the mass audience that Johnny Depp gained with his "Pirates Of The Caribbean" films. "His other films are so weird!" Whatever. Get used to it. It's called a "filmography" filled with "smart acting choices". Weird!

Of course, the success of IRON MAN has everything to do with the collaboration of some truly gifted individuals who actually "care" about making a quality film with staying power, rather than the conventional flavor-of-the-month summer blockbuster. Terrence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeff Bridges are all excellent in their roles and the creative partnership of Favreau and Peter Billingsley strikes gold once again.



Looking forward to that inevitable sequel!
GO FAVS!

"The Legend Of The Lone Ranger"

A couple years back, I posted about my wanting to re-watch THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER, the 1981 film starring Klinton Spilsbury in the title role. After purchasing a couple of VHS copies, I tried and tried to watch the film again. The pan & scan-ness of the presentation and my knowing that the film was shot and intended for Panavision 2.35, kept me from digging in completely. Fast forward to early '08 when I came across a widescreen DVD transfer from the fine folks at Flesh Wound Video.

From a collector-to-collector DVD-R basis, FWV clearly leads the pack with their beautiful, painstakingly restored presentations and attractive packaging. In the case of LONE RANGER, the disc contains a correctly framed anamorphic widescreen print with two great bonus features: the film's original theatrical trailer and an extensive photo gallery. Very nice.

After finally taking the time to give it another shot (it's been at least twenty years since my last viewing), my opinion of this film hasn't changed all that much. I enjoyed it back then and, with some minor criticisms, I still do.

By far, this is not a perfect film, but by no means is it as bad as some have criticized. For the most part, it has everything going for it. Stunning cinematography by Laszlo Kovacs, great locations, yet another memorable score by the always impressive John Barry and despite being dubbed by another actor, Klinton Spilsbury's turn as the masked avenger does work. The film also benefits greatly from a few stand-out performances, mainly Christopher Lloyd putting true evil into his Butch Cavendish characterization (an icy-ness absent from previous portrayals) and Michael Horse's interpretation of Tonto, in which Horse not only expounds the dignity and integrity of the role, but also supports Spilsbury's RANGER to the point that his performance does not falter.

THE LEGEND pertains to how John Reid became the masked man and the vengeful mission that drives his hero-like persona. After the origin and events leading up to his mission are presented (within the film's first half), the film begins to fall apart and feels quite rushed when it should not be. At the moment when Spilsbury first turns to the camera in full "LR get-up" to the familiar tune of the William Tell overture, the momentum seems lost. And, the events that transpire from that point, during Reid's quest for justice, never fully satisfy.

The inclusion of the overture unbalances the mood a bit. Sure it's identifiable to the character, but it would have been nice to get a new theme composed by Barry (not unlike the revisionistic interpretations of John Williams in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE or Jerry Goldsmith in STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE). I get the "return to yesteryear" vibe that the film tries hard to perpetuate, but it clearly does not compliment the mounting, slow burn style the film has already established. Imagine if the central theme music of the 1960's BATMAN series had been incorporated into Danny Elfman's score for Tim Burton's BATMAN and you'll get the idea. I presume this has to do with Jack Wrather's hold on the character from the original television series to this feature film version, but cross-breeding an epic western film with the conventional trappings of a Saturday afternoon serial doesn't even out.

So, there's my main gripe. A great build-up with little pay-off. This should have been at least a two-hour film, rather than one that runs 98 minutes. The first half takes it's time and deserves a respectful, fleshed-out continuation of the storyline. Also, James Keach's dubbing of Spilsbury's vocals is glaringly obvious and while it is done well, it's still hard to get past this fact, making it difficult to embrace the character in a relatable fashion.

Drawbacks aside, overall, I found the film enjoyable and it brought back a lot of good memories. With so much potential, THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER is difficult to resist and worthy of a second look.

Screen memories of Roy Scheider

Originally posted at THE JAWS BOARD on Wed. Feb 13, 2008 @ 4:12 am

My name is Nathan and this is my first post here at The Jaws Board. I learned of Roy Scheider's passing late Sunday nite and the sadness was overwhelming.

I was born in late '76, so I was far too young to experience JAWS, but I became quite aware of the film since my father owned the soundtrack album. The cover scared the hell out of me, but with that fear came a fascination. Couple that with the eventual mass marketing of JAWS 2, I was hooked before I saw either film. I'd imagine not unlike any kid my age who shared the same fascination, Roy became a highly recognizable figure in my early childhood, along with the likes of John Belushi, Bill Bixby, Lynda Carter, Chevy Chase, Richard Dreyfuss, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Goldie Hawn, Mark Hamill, Dudley Moore, Jack Nicholson, John Travolta, Frank Langella, Christopher Reeve, John Ritter and Robin Williams... just to name a few! These were my heroes.

Roy, of course, would go on to do so many great films. ALL THAT JAZZ, COHEN & TATE, 52 PICK-UP, LAST EMBRACE, SORCERER, STILL OF THE NIGHT, 2010 ...terrific performances. And, we all know an Oscar should have been awarded to him for ALL THAT JAZZ. Of course, BLUE THUNDER was such a dream film for me, too. Scheider, McDowell & Oates in the same film? Are you kidding me?! Not to mention possibly the coolest piece of machinery to grace the silver screen! Where do I sign?!

His prior JAWS screen record was equally impressive in such works as THE FRENCH CONNECTION, KLUTE, THE SEVEN-UPS and a great turn as the "heavy" in the underrated THE OUTSIDE MAN. Roy steals that one, completely. Simply put, Roy had an undeniable screen presence. His appearance in any film solidified my need to see it and such further opportunities will be sorely missed.

In an earlier post by Doug, he describes Roy as an "icon". Spot on. I cannot think of a better way to encapsule the memory of this wonderful, talented actor.

Mashed Potatoes!

Here's my latest nod. A "mash-up" (that's what the kids call 'em, these daze) of movie trailer moments that are all movie, all from trailers and are all actual moments! Would you believe?

Popcorn... SCHMOPCORN!

That's right, popcorn fiends, I hate all of you! While I'm not a big fan of it, generally, I don't have a disdain for the poppycorn, but the drowning sounds made by it's natching consumers is what irks my gurk! Why are people determined to NOT close their mouths whilst chewing on this confection? It's as if everytime I go to a picture show, I'm surrounded by bubble gum poppin' Pink Ladies and that just can't be right. Can it?!

My friend Sean (not to be confused with Martin & Lewis' film debut, MY FRIEND IRMA) and I have shared the same thought that if we were to own a movie theater, in a perfect world filled with blue skies and fluffy cotton candy clouds, that we wouldn't serve popcorn. On one hand, it would be sacrilegious to not offer the food forever linked to the film-going experience, but on the other hand, it might prove to be a refreshing change of pace. But, then, there's cheese flavored popcorn, which never gets the recognition it deserves...

Just a thought.

3D Video

I've often passed by this place. It's an Asian video rental outlet, with an odd and somewhat confusing name. What's the 3D in reference to? One of these days, I'm going to make it my mission to pester the employees at this store by demanding three-dimensional films in both the anaglyphic and field-sequential formats. "Yes, do you have METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN? How about SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE? You know, the one with Peter Strauss! What about TREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS, BLONDE EMMANUELLE or KISS ME KATE? Surely, you must have those titles in stock! What kind of a 3-D rental store are you running here?! You don't even have an Earl Owensby section?! Ridiculous!"

Fleece out.

UPDATE: 04/23/08
Store no longer in biz.

CineCraze Double Feature Trailer Show

Do you love theatrical trailers? Really?! Me too!

There's a new sheriff in town!

Announcing the CINECRAZE DOUBLE FEATURE TRAILER SHOW!

That's right, kiddies! Double means more than one!

Two... count 'em... TWO trailers on the same program!

That's TWO trailers to TWO different films (unless I goof) on the same mind-numbing double bill! Can your heart stand it?! It should, since they're all completely 100% free of any cholesterol of any sort!

http://youtube.com/johnmorghen

So, check 'em out! Updating regularly and irregularly, just like this blog! Awesome!

Film House Fever (1979-1995)

To appease myself, I've opted to compile a growing list of all the films I've seen theatrically (yes, I was bored when I came up with the idea). Since I've had a mental block (i.e. 1982), I might occasionally update with further specifics, such as: actual theaters, multiple screenings and Disney re-releases (saw a ton in the '80s, just not sure what year), et cetera. Most all titles are first-run, unless otherwise indicated.

The list is divided by year from 1979 (my first theatrical experience) to 1995 (my theorized cut off, since I actually enjoyed everything I saw theatrically up to that point).

1979

• THE MUPPET MOVIE

1980

• THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
• POPEYE
• NINE TO FIVE *
• SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT, PART II *
• STAR WARS (Re-release)

1981

• CLASH OF THE TITANS
• THE FOX AND THE HOUND
• THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER
• THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN *
• THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER
• SUPERMAN II

1982

• ANNIE
• E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL

1983

• A CHRISTMAS STORY
• THE CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER
• JAWS 3-D
• RETURN OF THE JEDI ***
• SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
• STAYING ALIVE *
• THE TOY *

1984

• CITY HEAT
• GHOSTBUSTERS
• INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
• THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN
• PINOCCHIO
• ROMANCING THE STONE
• STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK

1985

• BABY: SECRET OF THE LOST LEGEND
• BACK TO THE FUTURE
• THE COLOR PURPLE
• E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (Re-release)
• FLETCH
• RETURN TO OZ
• ROCKY IV
• A VIEW TO A KILL

1986

• THE GOLDEN CHILD
• THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE
• HOWARD THE DUCK *
• THE KARATE KID, PART II
• LABYRINTH
• LADY AND THE TRAMP (Re-release)
• LEGAL EAGLES ***
• POLICE ACADEMY 3: BACK IN TRAINING
• SHORT CIRCUIT
• STAND BY ME
• STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME ***
• TOUGH GUYS

1987

• *batteries not included
• BLIND DATE
• BORN IN EAST L.A.
• DIRTY DANCING
• HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS
• JAWS: THE REVENGE
• LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON
• MANNEQUIN
• MOONSTRUCK
• OVERBOARD
• THE PICK-UP ARTIST
• POLICE ACADEMY 4: CITIZENS ON PATROL
• PROJECT X
• ROXANNE
• SPACEBALLS
• TEEN WOLF TOO
• THREE MEN AND A BABY

1988

• ARTHUR 2: ON THE ROCKS
• BEETLEJUICE
• BIG
• BILOXI BLUES
• CROCODILE DUNDEE II
• LICENSE TO DRIVE
• THE MILAGRO BEANFIELD WAR
• SWITCHING CHANNELS
• TEQUILA SUNRISE
• THROW MOMMA FROM THE TRAIN
• TWINS
• VICE VERSA
• WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?
• WILLOW

1989

• BATMAN
• BLACK RAIN
• GHOSTBUSTERS II
• HER ALIBI
• HIGH SPIRITS
• LETHAL WEAPON 2
• LOOK WHO'S TALKING
• NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION ***
• PARENTHOOD
• UNCLE BUCK

1990

• AIR AMERICA
• ARACHNOPHOBIA
• AWAKENINGS
• DANCES WITH WOLVES
• DICK TRACY
• EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
• GHOST
• HOME ALONE
• THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER ***
• LIONHEART
• OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS
• PRESUMED INNOCENT
• STANLEY & IRIS
• TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: THE MOVIE
• THREE MEN AND A LITTLE LADY
• YOUNG GUNS II

1991

• THE ADDAMS FAMILY
• CITY SLICKERS
• DOC HOLLYWOOD
• THE FISHER KING
• FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE
• HOOK
• HOT SHOTS!
• JFK
• THE LAST BOY SCOUT
• PROBLEM CHILD 2
• ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES
• SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY
• STAR TREK VI: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY
• TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
• WHAT ABOUT BOB?

1992

• ALIEN³
• BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA
• HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK
• HOUSESITTER
• LADYBUGS
• MO' MONEY
• MY COUSIN VINNY
• SCENT OF A WOMAN
• UNDER SIEGE
• UNFORGIVEN
• UNLAWFUL ENTRY
• WAYNE'S WORLD ***

1993

• CARLITO'S WAY
• CLIFFHANGER
• DRAGON: THE BRUCE LEE STORY
• FALLING DOWN
• THE FIRM
• GRUMPY OLD MEN
• JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY
• LAST ACTION HERO
• LETHAL WEAPON 3
• NATIONAL LAMPOON'S LOADED WEAPON 1
• THE PROGRAM (Uncut)
• RISING SUN
• SCHINDLER'S LIST
• SOMMERSBY
• SPLITTING HEIRS
• WAYNE'S WORLD 2
• WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S II

1994

• ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE
• THE CROW ***
• DUMB AND DUMBER ***
• KILLING ZOE
• MAJOR LEAGUE II
• THE MASK
• MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE **
• NATURAL BORN KILLERS
• PULP FICTION ***
• STAR TREK: GENERATIONS
• TRUE LIES

1995

• BATMAN FOREVER (OR.)
• CONGO (OR.)
• DESPERADO (TX.)
• DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE (OR.)
• FATHER OF THE BRIDE, PART II (TX.)
• GOLDENEYE (TX.)
• GRUMPIER OLD MEN (OR.)
• HACKERS (TX.)
• HALLOWEEN ** (OR.)
• HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (TX.)
• HEAT (TX.)
• LORD OF ILLUSIONS (TX.)
• MORTAL KOMBAT (OR.)
• OUTBREAK *** (OR.)
• THE PROPHECY (TX.)
• PSYCHO (1960) ** (OR.)
• SPECIES (OR.)
• TANK GIRL (OR.)
• UNDER SIEGE 2: DARK TERRITORY (OR.)
• VIRTUOSITY (I actually despised this one.) (OR.)
• WATERWORLD (I initially enjoyed this one, but my belief is that I was desperate for another "Mad Max" clone, and it had been a while since my last viewing of "Exterminators In The Year 3000". ACK!) (OR.)
  
  * Midway Drive-In
  ** OSU Campus Screening
  *** Multiple Screening

Awesome Overheard Conversation du jour

To set the scene, I'm standing in the front of the checkout line at Best Buy. Directly up above me is a television monitor showing promo spots and music videos. The sight of the trailer to THE PINK PANTHER remake astounds the young couple behind me. Now, just imagine you're a miniaturized Dennis Quaid, living inside my ear, and listen (to what the flower people say)...

Guy: "Ahhh, I love that movie!"
Girl: "Yeah, it was really funny!"
Guy: "Steve Martin's soooo funny!"
Girl: "Who is that one guy? Kevin Kline?"
Guy: "I'm not sure. Hey, who played the Pink Panther?"
Girl: "Dunno."
Guy: "Oh, that's right. He was animated."
Girl: "Yeah, I don't think he's actually a character in the film."
Guy: "That's soooo STUPID! Why do they have him animated and the movie's called PINK PANTHER and he's not even in it?!"
Girl: "Dunno."
Best Buy Cashier: "Next!"
Nathan: "Thank Christ!"
Scene fades as Nathan is seen giving a non-approving nod to cashier who informs him that with today's purchase he will receive 8 free issues of blah-blah-blah...
END SCENE

Cast of Characters:
"Nathan" - - - - Himself
"Guy" - - - - Some doorknob with a pooka-shell necklace
"Girl" - - - - Some girl with a turd-like face and matching figure
"Best Buy Cashier" - - - - Himself (part-time)

Special thanks: Rick James, Antonio Carlos Jobim, Supertramp and The Rolling Stones.


The preceding post is dedicated to the memory of Peter Sellers, but not to the lack of memory and/or common sense of others.

Delta Force 3: The Killing Game

For years, I avoided this film. No Chuck Norris = No Nathan Martin! But as a true Cannon aficionado (granted, I'm not a huge fan of the post-Golan Cannon films, of which, this is one), I eventually got around to watching it. Sam Firstenberg's direction is a definite plus. Firstenberg nearly patterned the Cannon Films' action mold, so how could I truly pass this up? Any film should make an early attempt at grabbing it's audience's interest and this film does a fine job as we are treated to a topless female. From that point, no longer was this film just playing in the background. I then promptly took a front row seat.

Before Nick Cassavetes (son of Gena Rowlands and John Cassavetes) became the accomplished filmmaker we now know him as, he starred in a slew of "b" pictures. Here he heads the JOYRIDE* style cast of fellow second generation actors, Mike Norris, Eric Douglas and Matthew Penn. Unfortunately, the film suffers from a horrible score (which incorporates and butchers Alan Silvestri's terrific theme from the original). I'm no composer for certain, but I've done much better pieces on my Casio.

I'm always looking for film connections and since both Nick Cassavetes and Matthew Penn are in this, could this have been the introduction of Nick to Matthew's brother, Sean Penn, thereby resulting in SHE'S SO LOVELY? I'd like to think so, and therefore, this film deserves mention.

Not too thought-provoking and surely nothing in the classic sense, yet overall, DELTA FORCE 3 serves as a nice time killer. Naturally, this is nowhere near the fun of THE DELTA FORCE or DELTA FORCE 2: THE COLOMBIAN CONNECTION (a.k.a. DELTA FORCE 2: OPERATION STRANGLEHOLD) and Chuck Norris' absense is surely felt.

The DVD is one for the "bare bones" pile, offering one more feature than that of a "Universal Selection"... an actual menu. I'm sticking with my laserdisc.


* JOYRIDE is a Joseph Ruben film which coincidentally features second generation actors in the four lead roles: Desi Arnaz, Jr., Robert Carradine, Melanie Griffith and Anne Lockhart.

Mansion Of The Doomed

Nothing quite says love and devotion like MANSION OF THE DOOMED. No, I'm not suggesting a future Valentine's gift for that special someone (although, the DVD did come out recently and it might get you more sugar than a previously viewed Bingo brand VHS could).

For whatever reason, I really dig this bizarre film. The late, great Richard Basehart stars as Dr. Chaney, an eye surgeon determined to make medical history by restoring eyesight to the blind, with the help of some unwitting and unwilling donors. His blind daughter is his test subject. The first surgery goes alright, except that her vision cuts off shortly after, provoking Chaney to seek another donor. Needless to say, the following surgery has the same side effect, causing the determined Chaney to prey upon nearly every acquaintance he meets, subjecting his daughter to countless additional surgeries. Soon he has a collection of "the eyeless" in his laboratory. Clearly Chaney doesn't follow the wisdom of the great W.C. Fields. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no sense making a damn fool of yourself!" So many victims, so little eyesight, what to do, what to do, tisk, tisk...

SEE Lance Henriksen get his eyeballs "lanced," and therefore he can no longer SEE!
HEAR the continual moaning of Dr. Chaney's eyeless prisoners!
SEE an escapee hit by a passing motor vehicle. They can't see, remember?!
HEAR an unauthorized cue from Pink Floyd's "Welcome To The Machine" in an early nightmare sequence!

FEEL cheated by the fact that exploitation film goddess Marilyn Joi bares no extra skin!
KNOW that actor Michael Pataki directed this film and also collaborated with producer Charles Band again on ZOLTAN... HOUND OF DRACULA!

DIG the entire affair from beginning to end!

PLEASE be KIND and REWIND!

USA Network Memories

A long time ago, from a cable box and/or satellite far, far away...
Back in the day, the USA Network had to be one of the best cable networks around. This channel provided so much in genres of horror, sci-fi and exploitation. Basically, films you may never see on television again, severely truncated or not. Honestly, what other network had the nerve to air Paul Morrisey films, such as FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN and BLOOD FOR DRACULA? Sure, they were edited beyond recognition at points, packed with re-composed shots of an actor's face being super-zoomed-in on during a moment of bodily torment. Imagine the shot in "Frankenstein" when Udo Kier's hand is severed or the moment when his character meets it's demise in a "dis-heartening" (Spoiler alert... Ah, too late!) form of punishment. "What's happening to Udo?! He looks constipated!"
My point is that commercial television won't pay these films such consideration, ever again. And, that's a shame, considering how such airings broadened my film tastes and influenced me to seek out the uncut versions to these classic and not-so classic films.

For what it's worth, here's a brief list of some of the films I had the pleasure to witness on vintage USA, circa 1987-1991...

As seen on COMMANDER USA's GROOVIE MOVIES:

• AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
• THE BLOOD BEAST TERROR
• C.H.U.D.
• DEMONOID
• DEVIL'S NIGHTMARE
• DOCTOR DRACULA
• THE FINAL TERROR
• FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL
• LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH
• NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (Colorized)
• A POLISH VAMPIRE IN BURBANK
• THE SWARM
• TOXIC ZOMBIES

As seen on USA SATURDAY NIGHTMARES:

• AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
• THE APPOINTMENT
• BASKET CASE
• BLOODBATH AT THE HOUSE OF DEATH
• THE BROOD
• THE CHILDREN
• DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS
• DAY OF THE DEAD
• DEADLY EYES
• DEVIL TIMES FIVE
• DREAM SLAYER (BLOOD SONG)
• THE EXORCIST
• EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC
• GROTESQUE
• THE HAND
• HELLO, MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II
• IT'S ALIVE
• IT LIVES AGAIN (IT'S ALIVE 2)
• LASERBLAST
• THE LONG DARK NIGHT (THE PACK)
• NEON MANIACS
• NIGHT OF THE CREEPS
• NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (Colorized)
• OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN
• THE POSSESSION OF JOEL DELANEY
• Q - THE WINGED SERPENT
• RABID
• RAIDERS OF THE LIVING DEAD
• RAZORBACK
• SHOCK WAVES
• SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 4: INITIATION
• SLUGS
• TOURIST TRAP
• THE UNSEEN
• THE VIDEO DEAD
• ZOLTAN... HOUND OF DRACULA
• ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE

Not to mention all of the great films, horrorific or not, appearing late nite on Friday and Saturday's installments of USA UP! ALL NIGHT, hosted respectively by Rhonda Shear and Gilbert Gottfried. Good times.

The Legend of Klinton Spilsbury

Whatever happened to that masked man, anyhow? Klinton Spilsbury had the leading role in 1981's THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER and ironically, 24 years later (despite false reports) that film remains his lone film credit. Who was he? How did he get the role? Was his name not "household" enough to catch on? And more importantly, did he actually ride off into the sunset as his character was about to do at the end of the film? Now, that's commitment, perhaps the strongest case of method acting ever known!

As I remember the film, it was a hit... then again, I was 4 years old and knew no better. After seeing the film in the theater, I was hooked and had to have the inevitable memorabilia... action figures, View-Master reels, Lone Ranger disguise, et cetera. So, my perception was a bit skewed. I assumed the movie was a hit due to the merchandise surrounding it's release (this was 1981, a different era... merchandising wasn't as extreme as it is now). Alas, the film made a very small impact at the box office and also for the expectations of it's legacy.

Back to our leading star...
So, why didn't Klinton Spilsbury go on to make another film? Did the film's lack of success with both critics and audiences destroy his aspirations to continue as an actor? Or, was it the dubbing of his entire performance by another actor (supposedly James Keach)? What did Klinton Spilsbury sound like? Was he truly an actor? Maybe he was a complete nobody discovered by the film's producers or a model who couldn't act chosen only for his look. Was the dubbing a result of negative test screenings or was it an agreement from the beginning that his performance would be dubbed? Whatever the reason, Spilsbury got his share of bad reviews, not to mention a Raspberry award for "worst new star" of that year. Certainly, all of this could drive a person to reconsider their prospects and, perhaps, leave the business entirely.

As for the film, I haven't seen it in it's entirety since it's initial release. Caught fragments here and there on HBO as a kid, but never paid notice to the film's troubled history. So, my quest is to watch the film again for the first time, with a renewed sense as to whether the film works or not. Does it truly deserve all the bad publicity it has gotten throughout the years? It's certain that my childhood fondness for the film will take hold and I will have a biased opinion, but then, the critics of 1981 did not grow up with the film or own any of the beloved tie-in material as I did. Granted, they probably all grew up with the Clayton Moore incarnation on television and had a tough time seeing anyone else in the role. I can understand that completely. Moore was and is the standard for the role, along with Jay Silverheels as the Ranger's faithful sidekick, Tonto. On the other hand, THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER was a product of the same era as Richard Donner's big screen SUPERMAN and I'm sure all those invested had hoped the end result would mirror that same level of greatness. George Reeves was the standard for Superman, but then, so was Christopher Reeve.

Having gone through all the possible scenarios, there's only one thing left for me to do (short of tracking down Spilsbury and interrogating him profusely) and that is to take in a viewing of THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER in the form the late Lord Grade doth presented to us.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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