Popcorn... SCHMOPCORN!

That's right, popcorn fiends, I hate all of you! While I'm not a big fan of it, generally, I don't have a disdain for the poppycorn, but the drowning sounds made by it's natching consumers is what irks my gurk! Why are people determined to NOT close their mouths whilst chewing on this confection? It's as if everytime I go to a picture show, I'm surrounded by bubble gum poppin' Pink Ladies and that just can't be right. Can it?!

My friend Sean (not to be confused with Martin & Lewis' film debut, MY FRIEND IRMA) and I have shared the same thought that if we were to own a movie theater, in a perfect world filled with blue skies and fluffy cotton candy clouds, that we wouldn't serve popcorn. On one hand, it would be sacrilegious to not offer the food forever linked to the film-going experience, but on the other hand, it might prove to be a refreshing change of pace. But, then, there's cheese flavored popcorn, which never gets the recognition it deserves...

Just a thought.

Awesome Overheard Conversation du jour

To set the scene, I'm standing in the front of the checkout line at Best Buy. Directly up above me is a television monitor showing promo spots and music videos. The sight of the trailer to THE PINK PANTHER remake astounds the young couple behind me. Now, just imagine you're a miniaturized Dennis Quaid, living inside my ear, and listen (to what the flower people say)...

Guy: "Ahhh, I love that movie!"
Girl: "Yeah, it was really funny!"
Guy: "Steve Martin's soooo funny!"
Girl: "Who is that one guy? Kevin Kline?"
Guy: "I'm not sure. Hey, who played the Pink Panther?"
Girl: "Dunno."
Guy: "Oh, that's right. He was animated."
Girl: "Yeah, I don't think he's actually a character in the film."
Guy: "That's soooo STUPID! Why do they have him animated and the movie's called PINK PANTHER and he's not even in it?!"
Girl: "Dunno."
Best Buy Cashier: "Next!"
Nathan: "Thank Christ!"
Scene fades as Nathan is seen giving a non-approving nod to cashier who informs him that with today's purchase he will receive 8 free issues of blah-blah-blah...
END SCENE

Cast of Characters:
"Nathan" - - - - Himself
"Guy" - - - - Some doorknob with a pooka-shell necklace
"Girl" - - - - Some girl with a turd-like face and matching figure
"Best Buy Cashier" - - - - Himself (part-time)

Special thanks: Rick James, Antonio Carlos Jobim, Supertramp and The Rolling Stones.


The preceding post is dedicated to the memory of Peter Sellers, but not to the lack of memory and/or common sense of others.