No laughing matter...

I recently came across this DVD at a video store and a cringe-inducing moment ensued.

Of course, I didn't bother with the first SLAP SHOT sequel/abomination, but this latest entry makes that film look appealing... nearly THE GODFATHER, PART II-like by comparison.
Oy.

Anyhow, I couldn't help scouring the IMDB boards for the eventual reviews by those who fell victim to the curse of the extremely bad straight-to-video sequel. You know, the morons who weigh in with "This was horrible!" Yeah, no shit. Maybe it's my street skills, but I gathered that by simply looking at the cover. (Key words: Universal Family Home Entertainment)

Below is my reply in response to an IMDB thread titled "Where Are The Hanson Brothers?"

How about, where are the Hanson Brothers right at this moment? Perhaps, they're in an office somewhere, going over DVD sales totals and signing contracts for:
SLAP SHOTS 4: BROKEN ICE & FART JOKES
SLAP SHOT 5: BENEATH ALL EXPECTATIONS
SLAP SHOT 6: TO THE NUTS
SLAP SHOT 7: IS THIS THING ON?
SLAP SHOT 8: STEPHEN BALDWIN'S BACK!
and, the oft-anticipated 9th entry...
HANSONS GO TO HELL: THE FINAL SLAP SHOT

In closing, a reply to another thread on the subject...
It's best not to associate this film with Paul Newman's legacy, in any way. SLAP SHOT was never meant to be THE BAD NEWS BEARS and finally we have a fate worse than viewing the original in it's crudely edited-for-television form... a wholesome, family-friendly sequel.

But, that's just my opinion.
(And, yes. I doctored the DVD image above ...appropriately.)

Those Two Coreys!

Okay, I admit it. I'm a fan of the two Coreys, not only the A&E reality series, but also the films that got them to this point.

Flashback to the 1980s when I became a fan of both Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, based on the fact that they appeared seperately in films that appealed to me. So, it was a no-brainer when they collided on THE LOST BOYS. As my father would say, "That's a Nathan movie!" Well, father, that's actually a Richard Donner/Joel Schumacher movie, but I understand what you mean. Next came the second and third entries in their "good quality" trilogy, LICENSE TO DRIVE and DREAM A LITTLE DREAM, respectively.

While watching the previous season of THE TWO COREYS, I had to complete my Coreys DVD collection. That's right. I broke down and bought the iffy-ones. You know, DREAM A LITTLE DREAM 2 (the one that has the plot about finding... wait for it... a pair of magic sunglasses) and the dreadful (and not just in a DREAD ZEPPELIN sort of way) NATIONAL LAMPOON'S LAST RESORT. If you're thinking, "What about BLOWN AWAY?" Are you kidding? Seriously?! Isn't it obvious that it would have already been in my collection based on the Nicole Eggert factor? She nice, ya' know.

Where was I? Oh yes, the fresh season of THE TWO COREYS. The entire reason for a second season (that rhymes) is for those two crazy kids to patch up their differences, move on and more importantly (in a most absurd way) to film the long-awaited sequel to THE LOST BOYS.

At first, I certainly had my reservations about such a sequel existing, but they were quickly put to rest upon viewing the initial trailer on YouTube which contained footage of Corey Feldman in his Edgar Frog garb (and looking like he stepped right out of a time machine) to the beat of a great new cover of "Cry Little Sister" performed by Aiden. I have to say that it all works. I want to see it.

Well, that was the original trailer to the original movie, which has since been revised post-WGA strike to include scenes involving newly-cast Corey Haim. I'm curious to see how this all will come together. THE LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE goes straight-to-video (as was always intended) and streets July 29th, the same day as another '80's straight-to-video sequel, WAR GAMES: THE DEAD CODE.
Whuh? Yeah, I know.

• UPDATE (07/30/08)

LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE stinks.
Such a failed opportunity.
Pure poo, folks.
And, yes, I should have known.

1989: Year of the Sequel

Few years have contained as incredible an amount of sequelitis as the final year of the 1980's. Quite fitting, as this was the decade in which the commercialization of the Hollywood blockbuster had truly flourished. Without further ado, here's the gigantic list of 1989's franchised follow-ups...

• AMERICAN NINJA 3: BLOOD HUNT
• BACK TO THE FUTURE, PART II
• BARBARIAN QUEEN II: THE EMPRESS STRIKES BACK
• BEYOND THE DOOR III
• C.H.U.D. II: BUD THE C.H.U.D.
• COBRA MISSION 2
• DANGER ZONE II: REAPER'S REVENGE
• EDDIE AND THE CRUISERS II: EDDIE LIVES
• FLESH GORDON AND THE COSMIC CHEERLEADERS
• FLETCH LIVES
• THE FLY II
• FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
• GHOSTBUSTERS II
• GNAW: FOOD OF THE GODS II
• THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY II
• GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
• HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS
• HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD II
• THE HORROR SHOW (HOUSE III)
• HOWLING V: THE REBIRTH
• INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE
• THE KARATE KID, PART III
• LETHAL WEAPON 2
• LICENCE TO KILL (BOND 16)
• NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION
• A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: THE DREAM CHILD
• OUTLAW OF GOR
• POLICE ACADEMY 6: CITY UNDER SIEGE
• THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING
• THE RETURN OF THE MUSKETEERS
• SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT III: BETTER WATCH OUT!
• SILK 2
• SLEEPAWAY CAMP III: TEENAGE WASTELAND
• SPEED ZONE! (CANNONBALL RUN III)
• STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER
• STEPFATHER II
• STRIPPED TO KILL II: LIVE GIRLS
• THE TOXIC AVENGER, PART II
• THE TOXIC AVENGER, PART III: THE LAST TEMPTATION OF TOXIE
• WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM II

'89 also saw the launch of franchises that would inspire their own continuations over the following years, such as: Tim Burton's BATMAN, BEST OF THE BEST, BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE, DEEPSTAR SIX, Disney's HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS, K-9, KILLER CROCODILE, LOOK WHO'S TALKING, MAJOR LEAGUE, MOONTRAP, RED SCORPION, SAVAGE BEACH, WARLOCK and WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S.

From 1987 to 1989, the amount of sequels seemed to increase little by little. Naturally, I've gone to great lengths (not really) to include lists for years '87 & '88, as well...

1988

• ANGEL III: THE FINAL CHAPTER
• ARTHUR 2: ON THE ROCKS
• BILOXI BLUES
• BLACK COBRA 2
• BRADDOCK: MISSING IN ACTION III
• CADDYSHACK II
• COCOON: THE RETURN
• CRITTERS 2: THE MAIN COURSE
• 'CROCODILE' DUNDEE II
• CURSE II: THE BITE
• THE DEAD POOL
• DEATH NURSE 2
• DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL
• THE DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION, PART II: THE METAL YEARS
• EMMANUELLE 6
• ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS
• FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD
• FRIGHT NIGHT, PART 2
• 'GATOR BAIT II: CAJUN JUSTICE
• HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS
• HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II
• HOWLING IV: THE ORIGINAL NIGHTMARE
• IRON EAGLE II
• L.A. CRACKDOWN II
• A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER
• NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER II: RAGING THUNDER
• PHANTASM II
• POLICE ACADEMY 5: ASSIGNMENT MIAMI BEACH
• POLTERGEIST III
• RAMBO III
• RETURN OF THE KILLER TOMATOES!
• RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, PART II
• RETURN TO SNOWY RIVER
• SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK
• SHORT CIRCUIT 2
• SLEEPAWAY CAMP II: UNHAPPY CAMPERS
• THUNDER WARRIOR III
• THE UNDERSTUDY: GRAVEYARD SHIFT II

1987

• AMERICAN NINJA 2: THE CONFRONTATION
• BENJI THE HUNTED
• BEVERLY HILLS COP II
• BIG BAD MAMA II
• THE CARE BEARS: ADVENTURE IN WONDERLAND
• CREEPSHOW 2
• CRIMINALLY INSANE II
• DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN
• DEATHSTALKER II: DUEL OF THE TITANS
• EMMANUELLE V
• EVIL DEAD II: DEAD BY DAWN
• GHOULIES II
• HELLO, MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II
• HOUSE II: THE SECOND STORY
• HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS
• IT'S ALIVE III: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE
• JAWS: THE REVENGE
• THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (BOND 15)
• A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS
• PENITENTIARY III
• POLICE ACADEMY 4: CITIZENS ON PATROL
• A RETURN TO SALEM'S LOT
• REVENGE OF THE NERDS II: NERDS IN PARADISE
• SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, PART 2
• SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE II
• SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE
• TEEN WOLF TOO
• THEY STILL CALL ME BRUCE

You're welcome.