The Year In Ticket Stubs (thus far)...

January 9th, 2010:
IT'S COMPLICATED

I enjoyed this one, but mostly because of the company I had to see it with. And, poking smot can be quite entertaining.


January 22nd:
THE LOVELY BONES

I really wanted to like this film, but ultimately there was no satisfaction, particularly with the climax. Felt like a '70s-era hybrid of WHAT DREAMS MAY COME and STIR OF ECHOES. An interesting concept at first, proving tedious along the way, and afterwards, I wondered why I cared about these characters for two hours. Good to see Michael Imperioli in a period film, though. I couldn't quite place what '70s film I could see him in, but DOG DAY AFTERNOON continually went through my mind.


January 23rd:
YOUTH IN REVOLT

Fun and highly inventive coming-of-age story. This one deserves another chance, simply because of the non-perky mood I was in that day and the carbon-copy lame duck sitting a few seats away (decked in an oversized suit, David Byrne-wannabe style) who seemed to chuckle annoyingly at nearly every screen direction. Takes the wind out of the sails a bit when I legitimately think something is funny and want to laugh aloud.


February 3rd:
EDGE OF DARKNESS

Mel Gibson makes a welcome return to form in this slow burn of an action drama, which could easily round out an unofficial Gibson trilogy with RANSOM and PAYBACK. I was excited about this film once I saw the leaked trailer months ago. With Martin Campbell directing, Gibson's return to the screen couldn't have been in better hands. The opportunist at heart makes me wish there had been a tie-in "got milk" ad campaign featuring Danny Huston.


February 7th:
CRAZY HEART

Traditionally, every Super Bowl Sunday, I take in a showing of some film, knowing the crowd will be virtually non-existent, and also because I care nothing about sports. (Someone asked me that day who I was rooting for, to which I replied, "The Who.") Anyhow, I've always admired Jeff Bridges and I enjoyed this film as much as I thought I would. Bridges gives off that Kristofferson vibe and through all of his character's hang-ups, shines as someone you truly care about. The soundtrack is no slouch either and definitely worth picking up.


February 10th:
FROM PARIS WITH LOVE

When I initially saw the trailer for this film, and later the poster and T.V. spots, I wasn't impressed at all. The title didn't win me over, either. But, for some reason, I felt like seeing it. Maybe because I was in the mood for some type of John Travolta fix or maybe it was because I also like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, or, maybe, just maybe, it had more to do with the fact that I was willing to switch my mind off and settle in for a balls-to-the-wall action film. I'm glad I decided to see this film. I really enjoyed it, perhaps because I truly didn't have big expectations for it. In any case, the film works due to Travolta's performance. He's having so much fun on-screen that the vibe seems infectious. The blink-and-you-might-miss-it pseudo-cameo of Kelly Preston sitting in the background in one scene and, also, Travolta's PULP FICTION reference (think Europe) were nice touches.


February 12th (and 17th):
THE WOLFMAN (2010)

Anyone who knows me knows I've always been obsessed by movie monsters and it all started with the Universal monsters of yesteryear. While I'm not generally a fan of remakes, films like this make me giddy like a 5-year-old kid. Once I read an interview with Rick Baker mentioning how he signed on because it was important to him that the werewolf not be some CG-rendered creature, I was already sold. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON is one of my all-time faves and this felt like a nod in that direction, in addition to paying tribute to the original WOLF MAN. Of course, I'm a bit biased when it comes to werewolf fare (the practical effects variety) and it doesn't take much more to persuade me once I know that Baker is in his element and two actors that I'm obsessed with (Benecio Del Toro and the growl-inducing Emily Blunt) are in tow. I will admit that I wasn't crazy with the plot changes from the original, sort of takes the focus away from THE wolf man that this film is about, but I really can't complain. The film reminded me a lot of John Badham's DRACULA, including Danny Elfman's music, which seemed to echo the underrated John Williams score. Nice also to catch Baker's cameo in addition to a brief appearance by another AMERICAN WEREWOLF alum, David Schofield. Hugo Weaving brought great scene-chewing flair to his role and he came off here reminding me very much of Sam Neill (and that's a good thing). It took a long time getting here but, to me, THE WOLFMAN was worth the wait.


March 3rd:
AVATAR

When James Cameron made the speech at the Golden Globes, something to the effect of "If you haven't seen AVATAR already, you must be the only one," I felt as if he was speaking directly to me. Okay, so I waited to see this one for a good while, simply because it didn't interest me. But, after learning more about the film (i.e. Giovanni Ribisi is in it), I felt like maybe I was missing out. The mystery was there and it seemed like anyone who told me about it, spouted nothing other than "You've just got to see it. It's amazing." I usually don't lean towards the hype, in fact, such constant accolade makes me wait even longer to see something, and also, an empty theater never hurts. On the eve of another big-scale 3-D film's release (Tim Burton's ALICE IN WONDERLAND), I figured I should finally see AVATAR in 3-D before it's too late. I'm not one to bash films, at least in review form, since I feel it's a waste of my time to speak about something I don't care for, but I really tried to like AVATAR. Honest, I did. But, I just couldn't. Maybe it's because I'm so anti-CG, but with Cameron's films, that has never been a problem since his work has always been devoted to furthering the creative form. I really like Sam Worthington and I found the human story intriguing, but I couldn't sustain my interest beyond that. I'd liken it to a fireworks display. Most people love them, because of the "ooh and ahhh" factor, but I've never been big on flash alone. The film is certainly a visual feast, which is beautiful to look at, but after a while, I just didn't care anymore. And, if I don't care about that story, then it's going to be a long, long road to closing in on that approximate 160 minute running time. No disrespect to Cameron as the film is obviously well-made, but it just wasn't my bag. I made it to the 2-hour mark, went to the restroom and never went back. Sorry, folks. I realize it's me against the world on this one, but I'm quite used to that.


END SCENE

Way of the Irritating Fist

I'm constantly entertained by the inane observations of IMDB user "fistoffury". Whether he's trolling threads and spouting filth about any actor named Jessica or Kristen, simply because he doesn't like "Jessicas" or "Kristens," or coming up with ridiculous crossovers like how he could take Michael Myers if he were a Ghostbuster or simply talking up Ferris Bueller whenever it's irrelevant to do so. This fool is beyond ridiculous.

I have his history bookmarked, so I can chime in on whatever moronic threads he might be posting. Here are some of my recent jabs. Enjoy!

fistoffury on Kristen Alderson:
Ordinarily I would say that Kristen Alderson is great, the problem is, though, I don't like Kristens. From my own observations I can say that Kristens are messed up.

My response:
Yet another immature, unintelligent, unfounded and completely misguided observation from "fistoffury," ladies and gentlemen. It's as if you have a "Generate Idiocy" button on your keyboard. Truly amazing.

fistoffury on General George S. Patton:
Patton was one of the best generals in the history of the USA. It was Patton who struck fear into the Nazis and stopped them cold. People need to stop putting Patton down, he was one of the best military leaders you could ask for. If he was a bit over the top, thats what war is all about. This is the U.S military we're talking about, not a daycare service. We were fighting the Nazis, a ruthless opponent. Its times like this when we must fight fire with fire. To stop an Adolf Hitler, you need a General Patton.

My response:
At first, I thought you were talking about a daycare service, but now I realize where you're going. Don't forget how Patton Oswalt stood up against Blue Collar comedy!

fistoffury on A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1984):
So who makes a better Mr. Scrooge, General Patton (George C. Scott) or Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart). Both actors played the role in different versions of A CHRISTMAS CAROL, so who was better?

My response:
That's a tough one. I think there should be a battle royale of all the Ebenezers in one ring. Last Scrooge standing towers over all. A ninth plan is in the works to resurrect the dead, so that no gravestone will be left unturned and no Ebenezer left out. Will Albert Finney be able to defeat a zombified, flesh-eating Seymour Hicks? Will Kelsey Grammer pass the preliminaries? Will Scrooge McDuck's Irishness reign supreme? Will Rich Little be billed as himself or W.C. Fields? Will the final round impress the Dickens out of me? I can't wait to find out!

fistoffury on HUMONGOUS (1982):
They should make a remake of this movie. This is who should play the various roles.

Sandy- Kristen Stewart
Eric- Robert Pattenson
Donna- Scout-Taylor Compton
Nick- Dyllan Christopher
Carla- Dakota Fanning
Bert- Jesse Eisenburg
The Killer- Paul Donald Wight, Jr

My response:
No.

Stop Eco Box Petition

Stop Eco Box Petition

Don't know about you, but I despise these things. Initially, it appeared that only studios like Fox and Lionsgate were utilizing these cases, but the epidemic has since spread. (My noted appreciation to giants like Universal & Paramount for not yet jumping on the band wagon.)

As a collector, I dunno, I guess I'd like to pay for a case that is, dare I say, durable?!
If you agree, then please sign my petition!

A Powder Keg Of Black Fury!

I cannot wait for Scott Sanders' BLACK DYNAMITE, an amazing love letter to black action films of the 1970s, to arrive.

Having recently viewed the trailer, I can honestly say that no one has gotten a retrospective take on that genre right... until now.



I've always liked Michael Jai White. Whether he's portraying Mike Tyson in an HBO biopic, trying desperately to salvage the unsalvagable SPAWN, hamming it up and getting the intended tone of UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: THE RETURN, showing up in bit parts like GETTING PLAYED, or doing battle with David Carradine in a deleted scene of KILL BILL, VOL. 2... the guy's got great talent and I've always felt that he hasn't been given the best opportunity to excell.

That is, until BLACK DYNAMITE came around.



The trailer is so much fun that I don't know how I'll be able to take the sheer righteousness of the actual feature-length film. The trailer is that good and, along with all the promotional materials, absolutely nails that era. BLACK DYNAMITE has the same devotion to detail to it's genre as Mel Brooks' YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN had to the Univesal monster classics of the '30s and '40s.



If you take Rudy Ray Moore's DOLEMITE and it's sequel, THE HUMAN TORNADO, coupled with Greydon Clark's BLACK SHAMPOO (Jai White's look is reminiscent of John Daniels, complete with a Thalmus Rasulala-style mustache) and a dash of FOXY BROWN smoothness... you've got a pretty good idea just how right on the vibe of BLACK DYNAMITE is. The only thing missing here is an AIP/Dimension Pictures co-production logo. (Not a realistic feat, I realize, but a boy can dream can't he?!)



I haven't even seen this film yet and I already want more.
Sequel upon sequel, please!

The Boon They Call SEVENTH MOON

I've been waiting for this one to release for quite some time.
I loved the teaser trailer, particularly that final shot of Amy Smart running from a horde of the demonic dead.



This is Eduardo Sánchez's third film. His first, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (which he co-directed with Daniel Myrick) caused quite a stir. Either you loved or hated that film and there seemed to be no indifference amongst audiences. Well, I loved that film and I expect that the same love/hate relationship could be said about his latest, SEVENTH MOON. For the most part, I've seen some pretty negative reviews. I don't know what these people are expecting from an extremely low budget horror film elaborating on a myth.

Sounds a bit harsh, but rarely do I see films that I don't like. If a film interests me, I'll see it and enjoy it. If one doesn't strike my fancy, I'll avoid it and stay happy. It's that simple. I don't let reviews sway me like most people do. In fact, I don't believe a review is worth reading until you've already seen the film in question. People fall for that shit constantly. "Well, Leonard Maltin didn't care for it, so I won't bother." WHAT?! Are people that ignorant? Yes. Yes, they are. The other popular thing to do is to talk shit about films, which, again, I don't really see the point. If they're not worth my attention, I won't devote time to complaining about it.

Okay, lost my train of thought...
Ah, yes...
Some folks don't dig SEVENTH MOON.
I did.

I won't go into details but I found the Chinese myth concept intriguing. As described at the beginning of the film and on the film's poster: On the full moon of the seventh lunar month, the gates of hell open and the spirits of the dead are freed to roam among the living.



The principle cast consists of Amy Smart, whom I seem to like more and more, newcomer Tim Chiou and Dennis Chan (of the Van Damme films, KICKBOXER and KNOCK OFF).

Overall, this is a creepy little film. I bitch not!

Blunt Obsessive

So, I love Emily Blunt.



Can't get enough of her.



And, I absolutely cannot wait for THE WOLFMAN to be released, finally.



And, yes...



...this entry is nothing more than a shameless excuse to post some lovely pictures.



And, I do mean "lovely".



That is all (for now).

The Naked Truth About Naughty Nina

"Those sheep shit on my pack."

"What are you worried about Debbie Klein for, anyway?
There are gonna be plenty of girls on this trip."
"Yeah, we're off to a great start."

"She means in the cinema... that film with John Wayne."
"Right! With Laurence Harvey. Everybody dies in it. Very bloody."
"Bloody awful, if you ask me!"

"YOU... made me miss.
I've never missed that board before."

"There's no food 'ere!"

"Beware the moon, lads."

"Where to now, Kessler? Duck's Breath?"

"That was a weird fuckin' place!"
"It was man. But, boy, they could play darts."

"Heathcliff didn't howl!"
"No, but he was on the moors."

"It's a cold and-a wet outta here!"

"It's a full moon. Beware the moon..."
"And, stick to the road. Oops."

"These dumbass kids.
They never appreciate anything you do for them!"

"Shall I be forced to feed you, David?"

"Life mocks me, even in death."

"Have you tried talking to a corpse? It's boring!"

"The wolf's bloodline must be severed.
The last remaining werewolf must be destroyed.
It's you, David."

"I'm a... werewolf."

"I will not be threatened by a walking meatloaf!"

"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum... I smell the blood of an Englishman."

"I didn't mean to call you meatloaf, Jack."

"I can assure you this is not the least bit amusing."

"Yes, love?"
"A naked American man stole my balloons."
"What?"

"Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot!
Winston Churchill was full of shit! Shakespeare's French!
Fuck! Shit! Cunt! Shit!"

"What you doin' 'ere?!
You promised never to do this kind of thing again!"
"I never promised you any such thing!"
"Not you, you twit. Her!"
"I've never met you before in my life!"
"Oh. Sorry."

"Good movie."
"Mm-hmm."

If you haven't figured it out by now, these are a few of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite films, John Landis' masterpiece...



The "Full Moon Edition" 2-disc DVD released last week and being the "AmWolf" nut that I am, I triple-dipped. Obviously, this release was designed to coordinate with Universal's remake of THE WOLFMAN (also featuring make-up effects by Rick Baker) which was supposed to release mid-October of this year, but has been pushed to February, 2010. At any rate, this edition succeeds Universal's previous "Collector's Edition" and cancels it out as it features all of the supplemental material from that disc, plus a new Rick Baker featurette and an all-new documentary...



This 100 minute retrospective exceeded my expectations, beautifully. Unlike an American-based retrospective that might only secure stateside talents like Landis, Baker, David Naughton and Griffin Dunne, this one's made by a Brit (John Davis) who has access to a great degree of the additional cast (i.e. Jenny Agutter, John Woodvine, David Schofield, et cetera), crew and, above all, the locations. (To see Davis walking down the same country roads, shot from the exact angles used for the film, really is a marvel.)

About the only two living actors missing from the documentary are Rik Mayall and Frank Oz. Nearly all other bases are covered. Amazing stuff and it's always a joy to hear Landis recount his experiences. Baker, Dunne, Schofield and Naughton are also quite entertaining.



Paul Davis (seen above with Naughton, Landis and Dunne) is a passionate fan after my own heart. Thanks, mate!

As for everyone else...
See You Next Wednesday!

To EP or Not EP...

...that was my question.

Ignorance is often the reward of trying, particularly on eBay.

Being a nice guy, I used to let eBay sellers know when they've listed something erroneously. I'm a laserdisc fiend, so I often come across people passing CED video discs off as LDs, which is an entirely different format. Of course, this is done out of their not knowing just what darn fangled thing-a-ma-jig they got fer sale. "It says disc. It's a movie disc... with lasers. Shoot! I dunno! Let's put it on eBay and make a damn near forchin!" So, I used to send them a notice educating them on what they're selling and how it should be marketed, so they can sell the damned thing and not piss off their customers. Just a kind gesture on my part, but I stopped doing it long ago, because it's an unending cycle. I guarantee there's at least one such mistaken auction running right now.

But, when I'm interested in purchasing an item and must ask a legitimate question to seal my interest, and the response I get is so off the charts, well, it makes a fella kinda nuts.

I had such a wonderful moment today. I've got a lousy copy of SPYMAKER: THE SECRET LIFE OF IAN FLEMING (an EP release) and am always on the hunt for an SP mode release. So, when I see a VHS at a reasonable rate (it is a rare film) and such information is not supplied, I must ask the quality question.

So, here's a transcript of the encounter...

ME: Do you know what speed the videotape was recorded in, SP or EP/SLP?

SELLER: it is a comercial release vhs not a copy.

ME: I realize it's a commercial release and not a copy. That was not the intent of my question. SPYMAKER was manufactured and released twice by Turner Home Entertainment. Initially, in the superior SP format and later re-issued in the inferior EP mode (lesser quality). If it were EP, the information should be listed on the back of the cover. The actual gate on the videotape itself might be red, rather than black, distinguishing the different releases. If the tape were SP and you had mentioned it in your listing, you surely would have received a higher bid due to it's rarity.

Congratulations! You sold your copy for only $1.25, which, in either mode, the film is worth far more. Good job on your auctioning skills! Schmuck.

Okay, that last bit I added. A blog exclusive!

Punch Drunk Dragon Strike!

And, now, the further adventures of my favorite IMDB idiot, "fistoffury"!

fistoffury on Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris:
If Paris ever has a boy child she might name him Michael.

My response:
Criswell predicts, ladies & gentlemen!


fistoffury on FIRESTARTER (1984):
So who is better, Charlie or Human Torch? I would say Human Torch, who goes by the name Johnny Storm, is better. He can create hotter fires not to mention shroud his body in flames. He can also fly. So Human Torch is cooler. FLAME ON!

My response:
Harvey Fierstein could scorch them both.


fistoffury on Jessica Koen*:
Jessica Koen is a complete loser. If people think that Jessica Simpson is a complete screw up, after all, she really hurt Nick, she then gets dumped by Tony and copes with it by getting drung and being a complete wreck, not even Jessica Simpson is as bad as this other Jessica, Jessica Koen. Jessica Koen indeed makes Jessica Simpson look like a decent person. Jessica Koen is the entire definition of mean, cruel, and destructive! She does nothing but betray people and stab people in the back and she will mess up anybody's life who she comes into contact with!

My response:
Isn't it also true that you have a general affection for anyone named "Jessica"?


fistoffury on Nick Lachey:
Its too bad that Nick isn't a Sith Lord. If he was he could do Force Lightning on Jessica, just like the Emperor did to Luke in ROTJ.

My response:
It's too bad that the population of your fantasy world is "one". Or, is that "negative one"?


fistoffury on YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION (1979):
Ross, the producer of the show, played by the late Les Lye, I don't remember him ever getting slimed or soaked from saying the magical words, "I don't know," or "water," but recently I stumbled upon some youtube videos that have multiple scenes of him getting repeatedly slimed and soaked. So does anybody know what that is from? I never did see him get slimed or soaked when I was watching the show.

My response:
The YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION wrap parties were the stuff of legend and quite notorious for that sort of thing. Not only were people getting slimed and soaked, they were also getting bonked, toasted, clobbered, oft-considered, wind-jammered, jan-hammered, spadoinked, cajoled, teetered, tossed, fadoodled, brackishly bridled, catnipped, lozenged, influxed and pepper-sprayed. The latter, of course, was certainly a "before it's time" occurrence, that managed to arrive right on schedule. The grate Kermit Schaeffer wrote a rather racy novella, which is the nearest thing next-to-impossible to find, based upon these particular extravaganzas and other backstage, off-camera tom foolery, entitled "What You Couldn't Do On Television, You Still Can't Do (...But, You Can Read About It All In This Here Book!)," printed only twice by Tamley Publications.



* I haven't the foggiest who Jessica Koen is either.

Anvil of Cromwell

Is Oliver Stone a fan of the SPECIES films?

I asked myself this tonight as I watched SPECIES II. Having not seen the film in years, I forgot James Cromwell being in it. In the film he plays Senator Judson Ross, whose son Patrick, an astronaut-turned-possessed alien creature, has been up to no good with the ladies. Fearing such exploits could jeopardize his political reputation, he lectures Patrick, expressing his disappointment. During which, Cromwell spouts the line, "You're a Ross. Behave like one."

Hey, wait a minute!

Flash forward to ten years later in the Oliver Stone film, "W." (not to be confused with the Twiggy flick) where Cromwell portrays George Bush, Sr. and in a moment of disappointment over Bush, Jr.'s drunken antics, he spouts the line, “What do you think you are, a Kennedy?” “You're a Bush. Act like one.”

File this one under "Things that make me go... Hmmmm...."

The Real SPRING BREAK '83!

I’ve been on a reminiscent kick, lately. But, that’s nothing new. It took the long-anticipated release of SPRING BREAK, Sean S. Cunningham's comedy classic, on DVD courtesy of Anchor Bay Entertainment, to hurdle me into re-watching a plethora of 1980s’ teenage/college sex comedies (more on that later). So, I watched quite a few, but I was saving one of the best for last. I finally sat down to watch SPRING BREAK again for the first time in nearly twenty years, and it, of course, was a total blast. I forgot how much I loved this film and picked up on so many elements I had missed before.

SPRING BREAK utilizes one of the common scenarios successful with these types of films: take four horny males and place them in a situation where beer, hormones and wacky situations are destined to flow. With that set-up, throw in some ample nudity, pranks and a great soundtrack and you almost can’t go wrong.

The great thing about this film is that it doesn’t follow that set-up to an exact “t.” Two nerdy types come down to Ft. Lauderdale for the week. They book a room in a hotel and due to a mishap, their room gets overbooked with another pair of males, polar opposite party types. Okay, so what? Well, here’s the thing I never noticed before and what also sets SPRING BREAK apart from the rest of the crowd. Never once is it mentioned that the nerdy types are “nerds.” Never once are they made fun of or put down for not having the same track record as their far more experienced roommates. All we have are four guys out for fun, despite their differences. While it might not be the most accurate approach, it stands out as something that, to my knowledge, hasn’t been addressed in any other film of this ilk. Most films in this genre rely upon such traits to build upon, plot-wise. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the chemistry among the principal leads (David Knell, Perry Lang, Paul Land and Steve Bassett) is a joy to watch, and could be the secret glue that makes this concept work.

Other great aspects to this film (as if I truly need to list them):

• NRBQ’s “Me And The Boys” compliments the film perfectly. Oh, and Bobcat Goldthwait used it in SHAKES THE CLOWN years later. A tribute, perhaps?
• Yep, that’s Jeff Garlin jumping in the pool in his film debut!
• The enchanting Corinne Alphen chanting her desire to “Do It To You” certifies as possibly the ultimate boner ballad. (I’d love to hear The Donnas cover that one!)
• Hey, Big Brother, are you watching? It’s Sheila Kennedy… topless!
• .38 Special’s “Caught Up In You”. Such a great tune and so much more fun when you sing along, replacing the “little girl” with "Milton Berle."
• Jayne Modean… YOWZA!
• And, Richard Schull always makes for a good foil.

"That's a BINGO!"

Roger Daltrey plus John Morghen plus Stan Laurel plus Donald Moffatt with a vocal dash of Werner Herzog equals: next year's Oscar shoe-in, Christoph Waltz for Quentin Tarantino's INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS.

This guy is amazing.

I could watch him chew the scenery (and not-so-terrible strudel) for several hours and never grow tired.

R.I.P. David Carradine

(December 8, 1936 - June 3, 2009)

The free spirit has flown.
You will be missed, sir.

Dick Miller, The Legend

Over the past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the fourth annual Texas Frightmare Weekend and while there were many highlights to the three-day celebration, one of my most treasured was getting the chance to meet one of my favorite talents, the quintessential character actor Dick Miller.

Here's the wonderful tribute compilation (in two parts) by Noel Gross made especially for this event. Enjoy!





Watch them here, in "scrunch-o-vision" or witness them as they were intended in their original full widescreen versions on YouTube.
PART ONE
PART TWO

Thanks to Noel and Loyd Cryer of TFW for the opportunity to meet one of my all-time heroes!

First Tap

Spinal Tap's first appearance ever* circa 1979...



And, on the same program...
Nigel Tufnel talks Stonehenge in this five-part interview circa 2008...











Smell the glove HERE!

* (Wink!)

CineGames

Here are a few online movie tie-in games that I've enjoyed over the years...

POKE-A-SHEMP
Release your inner Moe to the Shemp Howard which awaits!

REVENGE OF THE NERDS: PANTY RAID!
Do the Skolnick, but steer clear of them granny panties!

WILLY WONKA'S CONVEYOR BELT CHALLENGE
Box them Gobstoppers, Gene Wilder style, and avoid those dropping bombs! *

Too bad the OPEN WATER 2: ADRIFT "Shark Attack" game from Lionsgate is no longer. Simple, yet tedious game which tied-in with the DVD release of the sequel to OPEN WATER. Of course, if you've seen the sequel, you know that it truly wasn't one and had nothing to do with sharks of any kind. Nice.





* Not to be confused with Tim Burton's remake, or else the game might involve dropping turds.

Resurrecting THE WRESTLER

Mickey Rourke's performance in THE WRESTLER will go down in history as the "one that got away". I know, it's only a popularity contest and I shouldn't care that much, but the disappointment of Sean Penn winning over Rourke in this year's Academy Awards runs deep.

In my not-so-humble opinion, Rourke deserved the win, all the way. No other actor had a role that complimented their career and personality so well. No other actor truly suffered for their role to the extent that Rourke did. And, for the record, none of this year's other Oscar nominees actually slashed their forehead with a razor blade for a scene. Rourke did. So there.

Random Musings: Jaws 2

So, I had a bit of a JAWS marathon today.

During JAWS 2, after the sequence where Chief Martin Brody "starts a panic on a public beach" he receives an inspiring call from Phil Fogarty, with news of developed photos from the missing divers' camera. Brody arrives immediately and sees a couple of photos and presses Fogarty for more, to which Fogarty responds that he has another batch waiting to be developed. Together they venture into the dark room and process a mysterious photo which Brody is certain to prove his argument that another great white is at fault for the recent unexplained deaths and disappearances on the island.



With one look, he's convinced that's all the proof he needs, exclaiming, "That's the one," and marches off to the town hall meeting already-in-progress to present this evidence. Of course, no one sees what he sees, even after he's described that the shark's eye is clearly visible, along with a rather murky outline of the mouth.



So, during each viewing, I always come to the same conclusion:
Fogarty had an entire batch of undeveloped photos and Brody doesn't wait for anything further. A clear case of "woulda, coulda, shoulda" and Brody might have been able to present better evidence, thereby convincing the board and keeping his job as chief of police.

Instead, he loses the argument and position, leaving Deputy Hendricks in the wings (whose first name is "Lenny" in the original, but everyone involved on the production of the sequel seems to have forgotten that and insist on referring to him as "Jeff" after the actor's actual name).

Just a thought.

Random Musings: Grey Gardens

Can't help but wonder if Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore shared any Carlo Rambaldi stories whilst filming together.

CineCraze Double Feature Trailer Show: Bruce Li A-Go-Go!

(1976/1977)
Trailers for the Bruceploitation fests, BRUCE LEE: THE MAN, THE MYTH and EXIT THE DRAGON, ENTER THE TIGER, both starring Bruce Li (Ho Chung Tao).




The films BRUCE LEE: THE MAN, THE MYTH and EXIT THE DRAGON, ENTER THE TIGER and any relating promotional materials are public domain.

An EVIL retread...

Just came across this comment from Sam Raimi.
My opinion follows.

"I have talked with my partners about having a young director come in and remake EVIL DEAD. That film was made in 16mm on a shoestring budget and blown up to 35mm. The visual effects are crummy, it was done in mono, not even stereo, let alone 5.1. What you could do with it now would be so much better. I think if you had a new director using the full power of 35mm and 5.1 sound, you could really make a pretty socko presentation. It was always meant for the big screen, but never really seen on the big screen."

You know, I am gut-clenchingly sick of remakes and a remake like this is the worst kind. Why? Because, it's truly a sad case when a filmmaker like Raimi, whom I thought I idolized, really doesn't understand the impact of his little shoestring 16mm mono film. Raimi obviously knows the monetary potential of the concept, but is it necessary to bemoan a film that didn't have today's technical "luxuries" at it's disposal?

THE EVIL DEAD should never be considered "crummy," old or lame. You won't see George Romero, John Carpenter or Tobe Hooper talking shit about their independent seminal slices. That's because they are of a different class. They understand that their films, despite whatever limitations, are cinematic achievements and a document of the times in which they were made. I never thought I'd say this, but "Mr. Raimi, you are a fool." And, to think that I thought you were a true renaissance man. For shame!

Now, run along and make your cookie-cutter SPIDER-MAN blockbusters for the m'asses to enjoy.

Alas...

Sandy: "Danny... is this the end?"
Danny: "Of course not... it's only the beginning."

Indeed it is, Zucco!
That goes for both Danny and George!

Anyhow, I refused to be depressed and "out of sort" over the whole YouTube yankfest, so I've created another channel. In a way, this could turn out to be a good thing, a fresh start. This channel is actually the sister site to this blog, or vice versa, depending on your area of travel. I'm not exactly sure what I want to do with it, perhaps the dreaded "vlogging" with reviews and such. Of course, I could show off my movie collection, but aren't there quite enough of those being showcased? Also, I'm not one to grandstand (too much).

Expect the occasional trailer, TV spot, radio spot or promo. Unsure as to whether I should re-post any of my compilations or the Double Feature Trailer Shows. Whatever I choose to do, I'll explain here.

Anywayz...
If you'd like to subscribe to "my new you," please do. Friend requests and comments are gladly welcomed. So, here's the LINKAGE already!

TELL YOUR FRIENDS (IF YOU HAVE THEM)!

Happy trails...
-Nathan

From the ashes...

So, it's been a while. A long while.

Not that there hasn't been anything to write about, or the desire to do so... I'll own up to being lazy. We'll just leave it at that, shall we?

A lame thing happened to me on Friday. Actually, in an odd way, it was a good thing. Good enough to bring me out of my writer's block, at least.

Typical Friday morning when I'm not working, I check my e-mail and login to my various "communication sites". Off I went to YouTube. I was pleased to be greeted by another of AustrailianRoadshow's private video offerings in my inbox. I clicked on it, left the room for a bit while it was loading, came back and my YouTube account was closed. Gone forever or "suspended permanently" in YT terms.

What happened? Well, during this same time that I'm on there, an account created that same day, seemingly for that exact purpose, filed claim of copyright infringement over one of my videos. The video in question was titled "Winkles Cereal," a commercial parody excerpt from the 1977 film, PRIME TIME. The company filing the claim was Taurus Entertainment. Taurus claimed ownership of the film's copyright, which I seriously question because, to my knowledge, the film's rights were never renewed and have since fallen into the public domain.

A little back history on PRIME TIME...
PRIME TIME was another in the string of sketch comedy films of the 1970s, an era that truly began with Ken Shapiro's remarkable THE GROOVE TUBE. I loved this genre. Anyhow, each of these films were independent and never financed by a major studio, yet PRIME TIME was the exception. Warner Bros. produced PRIME TIME and held the initial copyright, yet got cold feet about distributing it due to it's raucious nature. Cannon Film Distributors (pre-Golan-Globus) released the film briefly in theaters and licensed it's home video usage (along with many other Cannon titles) to Paragon Video Productions in 1982. Of course, Paragon is long gone, but some of the films on that label, particularly the Cannon titles, have seen a resurgence with other companies, yet PRIME TIME never did. I believe it's last printing was circa '84-'85.

So, nothing happened with the film and, presumably, since it wasn't a Cannon production in the first place, rights were never renewed and the film began resurfacing over 20 years later in DVD movie collections chock full of public domain material. Not to mention that some PD sites have listed it, along with other sketch comedy films like TUNNEL VISION and LOOSE SHOES, as being in the public domain.

Which brings me to Taurus Entertainment...

Where do you guys get off?! As a corporation, I dug you back in the day. Waaaayyyyy back in the day, like late '80s, maybe early '90s. We're talkin' BEST OF THE BEST era, those TWO EVIL EYES days. And, yeah, I know you hold copyright on George A. Romero's epic DAY OF THE DEAD, even though you didn't make it. So, that's where my interest ends with you. Your acquisition of those rights has poisoned your blood stream with ideas of bank-off possibilities. Like soiling the legacy of the great Romero with... dun-dun-dun... DAY OF THE DEAD 2: CONTAGION. Newsflash! DAY OF THE DEAD is already a sequel to two other films, so, you can't make a PART TWO to something that's already a PART THREE. Who in the hell do you think you are? NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION 2?! If that weren't enough, you had to then spoil the hopes and dreams of Romero's fan base with CREEPSHOW III. For years, we've been begging for a third CREEPSHOW, only, we wanted a quality film from Romero and co., or at least, one with his blessing. Instead, we got your so-called sequel. That film receives the "Whuh the fuh?" award for when I stumbled upon it at the new release wall. Have I seen it? Nope. Should I see it? Nope. Same with DAY OF THE DEAD 2: CONTAGION? Yep.

Then, we have the "time to make the donuts" award for the DAY OF THE DEAD remake. The remake that came one year after you decided to make a sequel to the original?! That's right. What's up, Taurus Ent? CONTAGION didn't bring in the big bucks you wanted? Too bad. Have I seen your remake of DAY OF THE DEAD? Nope. Why not? Because, I'm on to your game, and much like an old girlfriend, after a while, you just don't care anymore. I'm so over you piss cats and Friday's seizure of my nearly 4-year-old account has sealed it with a most deadly kiss. You guys suck, for good. And, I still don't believe that you own PRIME TIME. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure of it.

At any rate, that's said and done.
There's no going back, unfortunately.

In loving memory...
"youtube.com/johnmorghen"
(2006 - 2009)

[PLACE YOUR CHOSEN MOMENT OF SILENCE HERE]



Just for kicks...
Here's Taurus' account, which, as mentioned before, was ironically created the day of my channel's demise.

Remembering Remember My Name

I've been thinking about this film recently. It's a damn shame that Columbia Pictures never bothered to release this forgotten gem on home video. Boggles my mind actually. How can you not re-issue an Altman-produced film written and directed by Alan Rudolph? Could it be that REMEMBER MY NAME is actually more obscure than BARN OF THE NAKED DEAD?!

I was lucky enough to see it in the early '90s, courtesy of Cinemax Vanguard. As far as I know, that was the last time it has ever aired. Had I known it would have a lasting impression on me, along with it's rarity, I would have had the sense to record it. Why IFC, Sundance or TCM hasn't recognized it's potential and granted viewings is beyond me.

No one that I know has seen or heard of the film. Arguably, this is Geraldine Chaplin's finest performance and Anthony Perkins is perfect as the man in her sights. Backed by an assembly of Alberta Hunter songs, this is a slow-burn character study that proves to be truly haunting.

Needless to say, I would love to be haunted by this effective film once again.

The You Betchum Depot: JAWS Action Figures

Being a life-long JAWS fanatic, I always wanted a toy line.
Forget the Matchbox Amity Police car or even the McFarlane Orca scene, I just wanted some damn action figures to fit nicely with the giant, snapping shark with the rubber-banded-jaws from my ol' JAWS game.

Apparently other finatics have wanted the same thing. Some have even gone to the lengths of creating them for themselves.

Here's a link to an article at JAWSmovie.com showcasing the devotion of one such fan, Mike Lorenz.

Pretty damn cool, but I can't help remarking that the Hooper fig looks nothing like Richard Dreyfuss to me. Resembles either Hugo Stiglitz or a bearded Cornel Wilde. Perhaps a series of TINTORERA or SHARK'S TREASURE figures are in Lorenz's future?

No laughing matter...

I recently came across this DVD at a video store and a cringe-inducing moment ensued.

Of course, I didn't bother with the first SLAP SHOT sequel/abomination, but this latest entry makes that film look appealing... nearly THE GODFATHER, PART II-like by comparison.
Oy.

Anyhow, I couldn't help scouring the IMDB boards for the eventual reviews by those who fell victim to the curse of the extremely bad straight-to-video sequel. You know, the morons who weigh in with "This was horrible!" Yeah, no shit. Maybe it's my street skills, but I gathered that by simply looking at the cover. (Key words: Universal Family Home Entertainment)

Below is my reply in response to an IMDB thread titled "Where Are The Hanson Brothers?"

How about, where are the Hanson Brothers right at this moment? Perhaps, they're in an office somewhere, going over DVD sales totals and signing contracts for:
SLAP SHOTS 4: BROKEN ICE & FART JOKES
SLAP SHOT 5: BENEATH ALL EXPECTATIONS
SLAP SHOT 6: TO THE NUTS
SLAP SHOT 7: IS THIS THING ON?
SLAP SHOT 8: STEPHEN BALDWIN'S BACK!
and, the oft-anticipated 9th entry...
HANSONS GO TO HELL: THE FINAL SLAP SHOT

In closing, a reply to another thread on the subject...
It's best not to associate this film with Paul Newman's legacy, in any way. SLAP SHOT was never meant to be THE BAD NEWS BEARS and finally we have a fate worse than viewing the original in it's crudely edited-for-television form... a wholesome, family-friendly sequel.

But, that's just my opinion.
(And, yes. I doctored the DVD image above ...appropriately.)