CineCraze

Behind Them Scenes: FIRST BLOOD

2012-01-21T20:45:00.001-06:00

FIRST BLOOD
Orion Pictures Corporation & Anabasis N.V., 1982
Directed by Ted Kotcheff
Starring Sylvester Stallone

Dearest Amber...

2012-01-18T15:08:00.006-06:00

I haven't thanked you enough over the years.

That is all.

OU8ta2?!

2012-01-17T03:33:00.003-06:00

DISCLAIMER:
I realize this entry is far from the beaten path of this blog's intended purpose. But, it's my damn dirty blog and I'll cry if I wanna, see?!

Not entirely certain what the purpose of this latest offering from Wolfgang Van Halen & Co. truly is, but (strictly for grins and possible guffaws) I thought I'd give the lyrics a go (my best interpretation, at least). So, in true 'read along adventure' book & record &/or tape style fashion, dig these crazy lyrics while the music video plays.

Let's begin now!

TATTOO! TATTOO!

I got Elvis on my elbow.
What I fix, Elvis jogged.
I've got hoot owls on the back of my legs.
Cream cheese who-ores when I walk.
Sleeping cherry red...
Screaming 'lectric green...
Mo-mo mountain's majesty will talk to me...
Talk to me, babe!

(CHORUS)
Swap meet salad...
Tramp's damp cat...
Mousewife to momshell in the time it took to get that new tattoo...
Tattoo. Tattoo.

TATTOO! TATTOO!

Show me your dragon magic...
So, I don't buy your crappy!
Best believe that needle will hurt you.
Best decieve these true colors that follow one of your false virtues.
There's a secret to make you think.
Why is this crazy stuff we never sell poultry in ink?
Spooky Lego bread...
Explode opaque...
Mo-mo mountain's majesty, show me you, I'll show you me.

(MORE CHORUS)
Swap meet salad...
Tramp's damp cat...
Mousewife to momshell in the time it took to get that new tattoo...
Tattoo. Tattoo.
WHOOO!
TATTOO! TATTOO!
Saggy dragon matches!
TATTOO! TATTOO!
So very auto-bio-graphic!
TATTOO! TATTOO!
Got a hold on may!
TATTOO! TATTOO!
People put a spell on may!
Hey-ey! Hey-ey! Hey-heah!
Brown dove! Do-ove!
???????? Ahhhh-ahhhh! Yeah-ah-ah!

(Guitar Solo)

Ol' Bo Derek had a cold tattoo...
Fe-fi-fo, the unions...

Some of us still doo.
On my shoulder is a number of the cabin he was in...
And, that number is forever like the struggle here to win.
Everybody!

(AGAIN WITH THE CHORUS)
Swap meet salad...

Tramp's damp cat...
Mousewife to momshell in the time it took to get that new tattoo...
Tattoo. Tattoo.
Tattoo. Tattoo.
TATTOO! TATTOO!
Sexy dragon magic!
TATTOO! TATTOO!

Whoo!
So very auto-bio-graphic(al)!
TATTOO! TATTOO!
Got a hold on may!
TATTOO! TATTOO! *
Put a spell on may!
TATTOO! TATTOO!
I'll be in love with you!
TATTOO! TATTOO!
Show me me, show me you!
TATTOO! TATTOO!
Look at me and look at Yor!
TATTOO! TATTOO!
WHOOOOOOOOO!

The End.

* While "tattoo" is mentioned several times, this particular verse sounds like "Type Two! Type Two!" ...or, that's just me.

Movie Tie-In A Go-Go!

2012-01-12T03:00:00.009-06:00

Okay, it's about time I launched another batch of movie tie-ins from my collection. This installment features a few alternate editions of tie-ins which have been represented previously...

And now, on with the show...

I'm pretty proud of myself for tracking down the tie-in for WINDOWS, since it's a movie that MGM/UA has all but buried. 32 years since it's extremely brief release in theaters (January 18th to be precise) and it has yet to garner any official U.S. home video release.
(Attention: MGM Limited Edition Collection!)

Thumb Trippin'

2012-01-11T20:56:00.001-06:00

I found this on YouTube recently and shared it on Facebook.
But, it dawned on me...
"Why wouldn't I post this on my damn movie blog?!"
So, here it is (some vicious laughs to be had here, folks)...
Gene Siskel & Roger Ebert in TRUE PALS!

Why Siskel & Ebert never got an endorsement deal with McDonald's is beyond me.

(Miss you, Gene!)

JAWS - The Storybook

2012-01-09T00:10:00.005-06:00

In early 1983, I was in Kindergarten and, as a school project, we made our own books. Rather than come up with something original, I thought it best to tackle something that hadn't been done before, a storybook for JAWS. Hell, if STAR WARS and THE MUPPET MOVIE could have storybooks, why not JAWS? (Not counting the children's books that were inspired by JAWS 2, which weren't true story books.)

So, my 6-year-old mind came up with some crazy hodge-podge adaptation of both JAWS and JAWS 2 (JAWS 3-D hadn't yet been released). I now present you with this fine(?) publication (limited to one copy) of my attempt at a big fish story. (Brace yourself. Logic, narrative and fine illustrations clearly weren't a priority.)

People, get ready!

So far, so good.

Blame it on the ocean spray.

I have no idea what that monstrosity is.
Certainly not albatross.

Here's my clever way of introducing a scene from JAWS 2,
while jumping immediately to the conclusion of said film.
Damn those electric sticks!

Fairly certain this wasn't the end, rather the first act
of the original film, but close enough.

Not much has changed here...

...or, here, really.

Now, if only I could find that James Bond book I made...
SURVIVE IF YOU CAN!

Lovelozenge

2012-01-03T15:03:00.001-06:00

Oh, Hollywood!
You never fail to amuse me with the beautifying ways of your miscastings...

For example, Amanda Seyfried as Linda Lovelace...

And, Adam Brody as Harry Reems...

(Seriously.)

Love Possessed

2011-12-20T23:24:00.001-06:00

This evening got me thinking about a movie which I love, Andrzej Zulawski's POSSESSION. The reason I love this film as much as I do is not only because it's a great, obscure piece of cinema, but mostly because it was branded upon my psyche at an early age. I don't exactly remember the circumstances leading to my discovery of this film, but I do recall seeing a television spot circa '82 (possibly on Showtime) for the American (butchered) release. A brief shot of Isabelle Adjani astride her other, other lover (if you've seen the film, you'll know exactly what I'm referring to) had to be the most alarming visual I could have witnessed at the tender age of five, but there it was. It took me years to figure out the title of the film, let alone who starred in it, but when I finally did (via a big boxed Canadian VHS and later in it's original form on DVD via Anchor Bay) that mystical puzzle had been solved. Strange to think I caught a glimpse of this at that age, but I did and I'm glad I held on to that memory all those years.

Anyhow, this particular post is nothing more than an excuse to chat the film up and serve this great little morsel which I stumbled upon during my recent YouTube stroll: a great tribute by MickTravisBickle, a person who, no doubt, appreciates the film, but also has tremendous taste in music (gore and spoilers abound, kiddies)...

Behind Them Scenes: THE FRENCH CONNECTION

2011-11-15T20:40:00.000-06:00

THE FRENCH CONNECTION

20th Century-Fox Film Corporation, 1971

Directed by William Friedkin

Starring Gene Hackman and Roy Scheider

Tatum O'Neal's Oscillating Fan

2011-10-03T17:55:00.007-05:00

So, I had to make a trip to the post office today. As I arrived, there was a long line (not unusual for this location) and, lucky me, I got to stand directly behind the person who smelled like poop. Yes, poop. As if they had shat themselves. This Zelda Rubinstein-proportioned frog-looking woman was neither too young nor too old to be up to such a stink, but she was. Good times!

As the line diminished, "Froggy" was up next. While waiting for her turn, she placed her items on the mailing station/island in front of the service desk. There, I was able to get a closer look at what she was handling: a letter addressed to Tatum O'Neal, along with a copy of her hardback book, FOUND. Instantly, I was amazed by this woman's eccentricity. Not only does she not believe in bathing and/or wiping, but she has somehow retrieved Ms. O'Neal's address (presumably) and intends to send her a fan letter (the contents of which, I can only imagine). As for the book, at the time, I wasn't sure if she intended to send it along with a request for a personalized signature from Ms. O'Neal, or if she would perform a passage from it to the captive audience of one at the front desk. Whatever the case, I knew it would prove to be somewhat entertaining. And, I was somewhat correct. (A bit too predictable, but an entertaining time-waster nonetheless, with an accent on "time-waster.")

Froggy: (Stuttering) "I'd like to send this envelope and I'd like to send this book to the same address."
Postal Worker: "Well, ma'am, you will need to package the book and address it before we can move further."
Froggy: "But, but... Can you do it for me?"
Postal Worker: "No, ma'am."
Froggy: "But, but... Don't you have boxes back there that you can put it in?"
Postal Worker: "No, ma'am. Nothing to ship a large item with, just standard envelopes. You'll have to get a box from..."
Froggy: (Completely cutting him off, since she doesn't like what he has to say) "But, but... They've done it for me before..." (Classic line!)
Postal Worker: "No, ma'am. As I was saying, you'll have to go to the shipping station over there and select a box that is big enough for your item to fit in. You may also want to select one that's big enough to house another box, a bit smaller, that you can address to yourself, so that the recipient can send the item back to you."
Froggy: "What?"
Postal Worker: (Repeats previous statement.)
Froggy: "Uh... where?"
Postal Worker: "All the different sized boxes are over there by the copy machine. Once you're done packaging the item, we can help you further."
Froggy: (Blank stare) "But, but... okay, alright."
Postal Worker: (Motioning to me) "Yes, sir?!"
Me: (After waiting for the mumbling shambles of Froggy to pass by so that I can make my way to the desk) "Yes, I've got two items I'd like to ship. One for Tatum O'Neal, the other for her father, Ryan."
Postal Worker: (Laughs)
Me: "But, seriously..."

END SCENE.

So, there you have it.
Please keep Ms. Tatum O'Neal in your thoughts. Her fan base doesn't seem to be made up of the smartest bee stings. I'm hoping that when her novel gets published in paperback that it will be a revised edition, featuring a new chapter about the importance of hygiene.

Smarties: eBay Edition

2011-09-26T18:54:00.012-05:00

About a year ago, I joined the Disney Movie Club. Typically, I'm not a Disney aficionado, but I do love some of their classics and couldn't resist the temptation to own both CONDORMAN and DUCKTALES - THE MOVIE: TREASURE OF THE LOST LAMP on DVD, which are exclusively available through their club. Anyway, it works the same as any other movie or CD club (Columbia House, in particular). Annually, each month a selection is offered and you can either deny said selection or accept it. If you do nothing, they send it to you anyhow and it's your's to pay for. Basically, they're counting on me to get lazy and forget to respond (and they're completely right in doing so!), hence my receiving product that I don't want. Honestly, sending them back is too much of a hassle, so I've eBay'd a few titles recently.

It's been just over five years since I last sold on eBay. Aside from the listing process becoming more complex than it needs to be, not much else has changed in those five years. Case in point: I dealt with idiots back then and I'm dealing with them now. It's good to be back!(?)

I didn't expect to be blogging about my auctions, but one idiot pissed me off and here I am.
Here are the details of the listing in question (plus my photo of the actual item):

Disney's THE FOX AND THE HOUND (1981)
+ THE FOX AND THE HOUND II (2006)

This 3-disc combo pack includes both films on DVD and Blu-ray format. (This edition features DVD packaging.)
From Walt Disney Home Entertainment, 2011.
This item is in BRAND NEW/SEALED condition.
Shipping via Priority mail only. Winning bidder must make payment within 3 days of end of auction notice.
PayPal only, please. All sales are final.
Please ask any questions prior to bidding.
Thank you for looking!

Okay, the description is short and sweet, I'll admit, but it's definitely concise, and coupled with the added UPC-generated additional details provided by eBay which offer even further item specs, I'd say this is a pretty self-explanatory listing of what the curious bidders should come to expect. But, apparently, that's not enough for some people. Here's what one smart person had to ask me...

Hi,
This is an authentic item, correct?
Thanks :)
-q_hoang

And, here's my reply...
I shouldn't even bother honoring such query with a reply, but I have to ask what is it about my item description that confuses you to the point where you'd question it's authenticity? Have counterfeit DVD/Blu-ray combo packs for Disney's "The Fox And The Hound" / "The Fox And The Hound II" been a problem for you in the past?

Too harsh, maybe? Nah.
After all, I don't coddle stupidity.
I could have started my response with "Dearest Doorknob," but I just didn't feel that this person was worth such formal letter composure.

Seriously, what about the details given typifies that the item could be anything other than authentic? Could it be that I didn't supply those magic words of assurance, "By the way, in case you are wondering, this is authentic. Really, it is!" Perhaps my "all sales are final" policy makes them weary. Sorry, folks, but I don't wish to do the tango with you. I just want some cash for some stuff that I no longer wish to have in my possession. Here's my general rule: The buyer shouldn't have to worry about returning items on account of the fact that I don't sell crap, nor items of questionable quality. Plus, the item is new... NEW, I say! Sealed, even!

As Charles Bronson said to the goombah choking on the poisoned cannoli in DEATH WISH V: THE FACE OF DEATH, "You got a problem?"

Behind Them Scenes: THE HOWLING

2011-09-26T00:30:00.001-05:00

Joe Dante directs a werewolf...

THE HOWLING
Avco-Embassy Pictures, Inc., 1981
Directed by Joe Dante

Great Quotations

2011-09-22T13:52:00.012-05:00

Today's great quotation:

"All ye suckers who are gonna get trimmed, step this way for
the big swindle!"
- Groucho Marx as Hammer from THE COCOANUTS (1929)

More Bad Combinations

2011-09-20T13:00:00.006-05:00

Here we have two great, fun films packaged together. The hook here seems to be that they both have Harlem in the title. What MGM forgot was that HELL UP IN HARLEM is already the second half of another double bill, since it's the sequel to BLACK CAESAR. C'mon, MGM! You own both of these Larry Cohen / Fred Williamson features and they always belong together. Of course, COTTON COMES TO HARLEM has it's own continuation, too, COME BACK, CHARLESTON BLUE. But, that's a Warner Bros. property.

Calling Warner Archive...

Okay, this is not a bad pairing. Here we have two sports-related comedies, both produced by Kings Road Entertainment. TOUCH AND GO is an alright film, more of a light romantic comedy than anything and, well, I love me some FAST BREAK. So what's the problem? Obviously, it's the cover art. First of all, the quality is total dollar shop... hell, not even that good. (One can only imagine how great the transfers on the actual discs are.) The release, itself, is quite shoddy from a company no one knows and questionably legitimate, but just HOW do you miss the mark on marketing FAST BREAK? The actor pictured here is Harold Sylvester who is definitely a large part of the film, however, he is not the star. That would be Gabe Kaplan. Remember him? Well, they obviously don't. Add to the fact that this photo of Sylvester is not related at all to the film, in fact, it was probably taken around fifteen years later. So, there you have it. A double feature of sports-related comedies featuring two comedic titans, right? Seems like a slam dunk to me, but the powers involved either missed the shot or the clock ran out.

We have a winner! Never have I seen a worse combination of two films. One is an imaginative, highly entertaining epic directed by a master filmmaker. The other is an complete shit directed by and starring a master of exactly that. Someone owes John Carpenter an apologetic hug. This is an absolute disgrace.

Behind Them Scenes: PSYCHO II

2011-09-19T23:43:00.000-05:00

PSYCHO II
Universal City Studios, Inc., 1983
Directed by Richard Franklin
Starring Anthony Perkins

Bad Combinations

2011-09-17T23:19:00.004-05:00

I grow tired of coming across abysmal studio "collections."
Whether they're double, triple or quadruple features, they really should make sense.
Here are a few that make me cringe...

Let me get this straight, you're taking a well-done slasher film and pairing it with a film from the GHOULIES franchise? Scratch that... a bastard film in the GHOULIES franchise?! Just because you own the rights to two different horror film properties doesn't make them two peas in a pod. For future reference, GHOULIES IV shouldn't be paired with anything, even GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE.

Unless they mean this is a triple feature of three out of four films that are worth a shit, I'd say this would be a QUADRUPLE feature set.

Here's one of the more ridiculous combinations I've found. Yes, they're two cross-country race films and true enough that both of the CANNONBALL RUN features were inspired by THE GUMBALL RALLY, but wouldn't it make much more sense to make this a double bill of THE CANNONBALL RUN and CANNONBALL RUN II?! I'd understand if Warner didn't have distribution rights to the original film, but that's certainly not the case. The original is currently available via HBO Video ...WHICH WARNER BROS. OWNS!

Idealistically, there is nothing wrong with this arrangement of films, but the grindhouse thing is really getting old. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love those types of films (my heart lies in exploitation / genre cinema), however, since Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez breathed new life into the term, video companies have been cashing in on it ever since. I know, I know... exploitation begets exploitation, but, what's particularly lame is when distributors don't truly understand the definition of the term, such as exampled here. There's absolutely no such thing as a "drive-in grindhouse." Not only is the term contradictory, to say the least (it's very hard to park an automobile in an actual movie theater without breaking a few laws), but it makes very little sense when one knows the difference between the two forums. Grindhouse is a term for "hardtop" theaters that specialized in the exhibition of films which would normally go unseen anywhere else, including drive-ins. That's not to say that they wouldn't showcase drive-in style fare, but it certainly wasn't what they were known for. (Think early John Waters films, pornographic pictures, questionable arthouse, European sleaze & gore fests or basically anything on 42nd Street pre-Rudolph Giuliani killing all the fun.)

Keep an eye out for the next poorly advised double bill, THE DELTA FORCE plus MISSING IN ACTION 2: THE BEGINNING. As for BRADDOCK: MISSING IN ACTION III, sorry, but you're shit out of luck since MGM doesn't own the rights to DELTA FORCE 3.

STAY TUNED!
MORE TO COME!

Great Quotations

2011-09-15T13:49:00.004-05:00

Today's Great Quotation:

"I'm not going into an alley with you or anybody.
And, fuck The Wall Street Journal!"

- Robert Redford as Joseph Turner in
Sydney Pollack's THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR (1975)

Random Musings: Blah Dogs

2011-08-24T11:00:00.001-05:00

Remember that classic scene in Sam Peckinpah's STRAW DOGS when Dustin Hoffman and Susan George went to an American football game and were harrassed while on their way to finding their seats?
Well, good news...
They seem to have done it justice in the 2011 remake.
Yippee!

Random Musings: The Devil's Rain

2011-08-23T11:02:00.001-05:00

Recently, I watched THE DEVIL'S RAIN again for the first time in years. (I'm thinking the last time had to be back in the TBS Nite Flix era.) This time around, one particular aspect of the film grabbed me which, for some reason, I had never noticed before...

Okay, everyone knows the story of how Tommy Lee Wallace bought a Don Post mask of Captain Kirk, then treated it for the Shape's look in John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN. The mask was chosen due to it's expressionless / emotionless vibe, but I wonder if there could have been another reason. Honestly, I doubt that there was, but when I saw this striking visual of a bedeviled William Shatner (pale with empty eye sockets and a head tilt, no less) in THE DEVIL'S RAIN (released three years prior to HALLOWEEN), the comparison to that of Michael Myers was ghoulishly uncanny...

Also, if I didn't know better, in the poster art (see above), it looks like Ernest Borgnine is chatting on a cell phone. 911, perhaps?

Monster Blurbs - Vol. 6

2011-08-21T19:05:00.001-05:00

Marquee Chimps - Vol. 6

2011-08-15T12:05:00.001-05:00

Closed for the season.

Monster Blurbs - Vol. 5

2011-08-14T19:05:00.004-05:00

HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1944)

Marquee Chimps - Vol. 5

2011-08-08T12:05:00.000-05:00

Our hamburgers are deee-licious! Available at our concession stand! Try one now!

Monster Blurbs - Vol. 4

2011-08-07T19:05:00.001-05:00

THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA (1973)

Marquee Chimps - Vol. 4

2011-08-01T12:05:00.001-05:00

Pizza by the slice at our concession stand!

Monster Blurbs - Vol. 3

2011-07-31T19:05:00.006-05:00

BLACK FRIDAY (1940)

Marquee Chimps - Vol. 3

2011-07-25T12:05:00.000-05:00

Tune your radio dial to 95.3 FM!

Monster Blurbs - Vol. 2

2011-07-24T19:05:00.000-05:00

THE THING WITH TWO HEADS (1972)

Behind Them Scenes: THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972)

2011-07-20T12:05:00.006-05:00

THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
Hallmark/American-International, 1972
Directed by Wes Craven
Starring David Hess, Jeramie Rain and Fred Lincoln

Marquee Chimps - Vol. 2

2011-07-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

$2 per car load!

Monster Blurbs - Vol. 1

2011-07-17T18:40:00.002-05:00

In the grand tradition of those great monster parodies of the past (such as Cracked magazine's "Monster Party" and the "Monster Laffs" series of trading cards), comes this series dedicated (in love and jest) to our beloved cinematic ghouls of day gone by.

Without further ado, the first entry...

BLACULA (1972)

Marquee Chimps - Vol. 1

2011-07-15T12:05:00.000-05:00

Starts Friday!

Behind Them Scenes: GET CARTER (1971)

2011-07-13T18:13:00.002-05:00

GET CARTER
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 1971
Directed by Mike Hodges
Starring Michael Caine

DON'T eat the Jell-O pudding!

2011-07-12T14:00:00.007-05:00

The porn industry has always been known for cashing in on a craze whether it be film or television related, but in recent years, there seems to be a major movement in creating such parodies. While, I haven't seen any of these, I can't help but be amused by both their audacity and creativity (so to speak) and one look at their cover art usually provokes a good laugh. It's as if The Asylum had an "adults only" wing.

This particular film, NOT THE COSBY SHOW (XXX) sparks the most interest in terms of taboo, since Bill Cosby would be outraged and, as much as I respect Cosby, that strikes me as pretty damn funny.

From the looks of this trailer, kudos to the cast and production for actually trying to make a worthwhile clone, porn or not.

Finally, Bill Cosby can detest another filmmaker after almost having an "ANGEL HEART attack," back in the late '80s, thanks to the great Alan Parker.

While we're at it, why not make LEONARD, PART 69?

Happy Mel Brooks Day!

2011-06-28T13:39:00.000-05:00

Mel Brooks turns 85 years young(?) today. What better way to celebrate than by watching one of my favorite Mel Brooks films? Well, I don't feel like it, really, on account of my watching one last week, unaware of his upcoming birthday, so I'll just pretend that I just watched it today.

That film being SILENT MOVIE, which like another of my faves (HIGH ANXIETY) is hugely underrated. Here are a few of my favorite captured visuals (oddly enough, none of which are from my favorite scene, the "Melon balls!" sequence with James Caan)...

FINIS

Television Goodies: Franklin & Bash

2011-06-28T00:30:00.005-05:00

Rarely do I stick with watching a television series on a weekly basis, but stumbling upon this slightly askew courtroom drama on the night of it's premiere episode turned out to be a damned good thing. I didn't even know about it's existence, much less who was in it, but it feels like one of those shows that was made specifically for people like me. By people like me, I mean those who like Mark-Paul Gosselaar (yes, I was a SAVED BY THE BELL fan), Breckin Meyer (who I have liked since FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE), the always gorgeous Garcelle Beauvais, the great Malcolm McDowell and my latest crush (who has both HOT and CUTE down to a science if you ask me), Dana Davis.

Aside from a great cast, it's a well-written, fun series and I definitely dig the McDowell nods/decorations in the "man cave" (posters for BLUE THUNDER and A CLOCKWORK ORANGE on display). And, it definitely doesn't hurt if there's a Jean-Claude Van Damme reference within the first ten minutes of the first episode either.

Embedding has been disabled for this video, but here's the link to a set visit with Malcolm McDowell...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU6HXBvp8X0

Wednesday nights on TNT @ 9/8 central.
I hope this one sticks around.

Ending on a good note, here's some more Ms. Davis...

And, I never thought I'd say this, but I suddenly have an interest in that PROM NIGHT remake...

Family Movie Night

2011-05-31T12:07:00.001-05:00

"Hey, kids! Who wants some hot buttered popcorn?!"

Another Movie Tie-In Project: Odds 'n' Sods

2011-05-17T00:38:00.000-05:00

Quite enough time has passed since the last tie-in entry and I'm due for a fifth installment of the video series, so here it is...

Yet another collection of movie tie-ins in the form of paperback books, magazines, movie programs, comic book adaptations, screenplays, retrospectives and more. (Lots of Star Trek, James Bond and Star Wars in this one ...with a dash of Lucio Fulci.)

THE END?

Kintner Prunes

2011-05-11T01:35:00.008-05:00

Without a doubt, I absolutely love me some JAWS and I'm a sucker for all the lovingly inspired knock-offs from that era. Having just discovered another fan made JAWS homage (shot in splendid Super 8mm) on YouTube, I figured it was time to make a post to showcase that film along with another which is currently available on the site.

First up, is a Swedish take on the formula from Nässjö Filmverkstad entitled HAJEN...

And, on the same glorious program...
A rather enjoyable offering from Frank Wied entitled SHARK...

Speaking of JAWS on Super 8, here's another great find...
(Dig that terrific Universal 8 logo!)

Want a pretzel?

Yahoo Bid Adieu

2011-03-30T02:00:00.010-05:00

Long before this blog, I used to contribute to several groups that I created on Yahoo. Most of which dealt with honoring actors that, in my opinion, don't get enough accolade (the most successful of these groups being The Donna Wilkes Appreciation Group), but over the years, I've distanced myself from the process thanks to the siege of fun on Yahoo due to killer spambots and other types of trolls, and also, with the emergence of more popular groups/pages on MySpace and Facebook.

Since some of these groups (okay, really all of my groups) have been cricket fodder for years now, and after receiving a fake "Hey, we're billing your credit card" e-mail this evening via some spammer on one of the groups, I decided it's finally time to put a few of these to rest.

The Daniel Bernhardt Fan Archive

Last Member Count: 131

Created on June 29, 2002

Ended on March 29, 2011

The Robert Carradine Multiplex

Last Member Count: 36

Created on March 6, 2002

Ended on March 29, 2011

The Craig Wasson Tribute Group

Last Member Count: 17

Created on January 3, 2003

Ended on March 29, 2011

For the longest time, I felt that, along with my other group contributions, that these should remain online for the sake of posterity. But, since posterity isn't even interested, anymore
...well, it's time to call it a night.

I still love all of these actors, but, over the years, some of the "fans" that I've encountered have truly taken the "wind out of the sails" so to speak. For example: Elena Erro, who stole nearly all of my content from the Robert Carradine group for the sake of his/her (still unsure) "tribute site" and some know-it-all French woman on another group (her name escapes me) whom I never got along with.

So, if you see those dead links lying on the floors of IMDB or any other site, just walk on by. It was (sorta) fun while it lasted.

Even More View-Master Dreams

2011-03-04T15:57:00.002-06:00

More View-Master Dreams

2011-03-02T13:41:00.003-06:00

And, the beat goes on.

A few more reels that never were, but should have been...

View-Master Dreams

2011-03-01T23:55:00.002-06:00

The beginning of my View-Master obsession in '79.

It's been ages since I've posted on here, so I figured if I'm going to post something, it should be worthwhile. (Please accept this "excuse for a post" as a fine replacement for "worthwhile.")

Growing up, my favorite toy of all was View-Master. I had (and still have, thank you very much) tons of these three-reel sets devoted to movies, television, theme park attractions, cartoons, events, et cetera. They sure don't make them like they used to and I always wished they'd make 'em like they never did before.

So, I've decided to create some fantasy vintage artwork for View-Master reels that never were. In some cases, some of these titles never would have been considered, but fortunately, I'm demented enough to consider them.

Here's the first wave...

Jane Russell (1921-2011)

2011-03-01T20:41:00.001-06:00

You were a true class act. Rest in peace.

ElecTRONica

2010-12-15T13:15:00.005-06:00

Typically, I have a superstition about listening to a film score prior to seeing the film in question. But, there is that temptation of listening to something with the purest mindset, uninhibited with the eventual marriage of imagery. Such is the case with Daft Punk's score for TRON LEGACY, of which I have been quite excited about since learning the news of this collaboration. Seemed perfect.

My impressions of the score...
First of all, I read a review (I know, why bother?) which basically said that this orchestrated score gives us very little of what we love about Daft Punk. Well, that person is clearly of the moronic persuasion and it seems they've missed the point. Composing a film score is certainly new ground for Daft Punk and if the likes of Danny Elfman and Mark Mothersbaugh can do so successfully, why can't these Frenchmen?

So, I popped the disc in (TRON-style, yo!) and while I dug the sound of the first track, "Overture," it was the second track, "The Grid" (featuring narration by the great Jeff Bridges), which literally gave me chills and immersed me in the TRON experience instantly. I am so ready for this film! Daft Punk has succeeded here by tapping into the TRON vibe (without stealing from Wendy Carlos' score to the original TRON) and, above all else, accomplishing what every film score should by transporting your imagination to another world, one that is beautifully filled with strains of triumph, romance and despair.

The style they're known for can be heard on both "End Of Line" and "Derezzed" (with the former supplying some welcome ATARI-era gaming sounds). Throughout, I'm impressed with how much this album brings to mind the pulsating, electronic drive of John Carpenter's earliest scores. In fact, I'd describe it as Carpenter meets Vangelis, backed by a full orchestra. Beautiful work indeed and, best of all, it does the trick.

On with the show!

Clip-On Tie-In

2010-12-03T11:55:00.000-06:00

As promised...

Yet another bevy of movie tie-ins from my collection. This time, the focus is primarily on "behind-the-scenes" journals, retrospective film studies, scrapbooks, storybooks and a few odds n' ends thrown into the mix.

And, yes... there will be a fifth installment.
Stay tuned!

Nathan Lives: The Movie Tie-In Project Returns!

2010-12-01T22:08:00.000-06:00

It's been ages since I've posted anything here on the blog and even longer since I did one of these videos. So, without further ado, there's the third installment in the increasingly popular series (Oops, I got this mixed up with the TWILIGHT franchise). Enjoy? Yes, enjoy.

Another bevy of vintage and contemporary film-related tie-ins presented in the form of paperbacks, oversized paperbacks, hardbacks, comic book adaptations (Marvel, DC) and those wonderful Fotonovels (with some wannabes thrown in, too). Also, there are a slew of spin-off paperbacks ("The Amityville Horror" continuations, "Dirty Harry" action stories and further installments of "The Omen" series) included here, as well.

Part IV is in the works and I refuse to give any spoilers here!
You'll just have to wait it out.
Could be another several months, or hours.
I won't tell!

HBO/Cinemax Guide - November, 1981

2010-07-16T07:13:00.004-05:00

As mentioned in a previous post, I recently secured some well-kept programming guides for HBO and Cinemax. Here are some scanned highlights from the November, 1981 issue. Enjoy!

Don't forget, 1981 audiences, you can enjoy HBO 24-hours a day on weekends!

"Knock, knock..."

2010-07-13T22:51:00.008-05:00

I recently purchased a slew of HBO/Cinemax guides (ranging from 1981 to 1985) and, just last night, was perusing through these little slices of nostalgia. More on the guides in a later post, but I've been on this high all day, thinking about how things used to be, how each film was regarded as an event, although not superficial. And, whenever I think of early-to-mid era HBO, I think of John G. Avildsen's comedic gem, NEIGHBORS. A classic and a shame that more people don't regard it as such. Also a shame that it has yet to see a resurgence on DVD. Odd, considering that it is John Belushi's final work and you'd think that would be merit enough.

By the time NEIGHBORS came out, I already idolized Belushi, much in the same way that I idolized his fellow SNL alums, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase and Bill Murray, even though I hadn't seen... er, uh... wasn't yet permitted to see much of their work. (I was almost five years of age, at the time.) With Belushi, I had only seen CONTINENTAL DIVIDE, since it was PG and on cable. I watched it several times and thought it was hysterical, despite the fact that it wasn't all that funny. Clearly, I didn't know any better. My only other exposure, at that point, was the first Blues Brothers album, "Briefcase Full Of Blues," that my father owned, which I begged him to play constantly. (Of course, my folks didn't trust me with the "real" record player... you know, the one in the family room and not the 45-friendly Sesame Street model that I had in my bedroom.)

When Belushi passed away, I clearly remember being both saddened and confused. Up until that point, I hadn't experienced anyone's death, nevermind a celebrity. I couldn't believe such a thing was possible. One of the reasons I found it hard to believe, was that NEIGHBORS had been released not long before and the memory of it's publicity was fresh in my mind. "Nah, can't be. He's still making movies," I thought.

Anyhow, the following TV spot really creeped me out (as well as the two posters for the film), even though it shouldn't have. But, then, anything remotely related to TWILIGHT ZONE creeped me out. Oh, well. Here's the spot already...

A comic nightmare. Ah, I love it!

While searching for that promo, I came across an appearance Belushi and Aykroyd did to promote the film on THE TODAY SHOW...

Nice dig by Belushi on Gene Shalit's "hairstyle". Also of note, the project in development that they're discussing is SPIES LIKE US, which was later made in 1985 with Chevy Chase in Belushi's role and John Landis directing (as was originally intended).

Subsequently, here's another interview clip, this time it's Chevy Chase on THE TOMORROW SHOW with Tom Snyder. Significant because Chase takes a shot at Rex Reed for taking a shot at Belushi in his review of NEIGHBORS...

Great dig on Reed's "performance" in MYRA BRECKINRIDGE!

P.S.
Piss on Shalit for questioning Steve Martin's version of PENNIES FROM HEAVEN. That film is brilliant.

Love And Menace

2010-07-12T15:29:00.015-05:00

BODY DOUBLE is one of my favorite films, mostly because it's a Brian De Palma film, but also because it's the De Palma film that few seem to care about.

It also contains one of my favorite Pino Donaggio scores, which brings me to this remix of the main theme which I found on YouTube. (Initially, I was going to post this on Facebook, but I gotta be careful not to "offend" some of the lamenheimers whom I once considered cool. Don't get me started on the rant.) The visuals in this video suck and it drives me nuts, but the music is the reason to watch(?), so, whatever.

Critically, De Palma took a bit of a swan dive with this one, following his SCARFACE (which the critics loathed at the time), but when I finally was of age to see this, I couldn't believe this film was as lambasted as it had been. Although, I know why it was, that still doesn't make it okay. Critics could not get over the whole Hitchcock influence thing. And, by the time BODY DOUBLE came around, I think they were sick of it. Too bad, as this is a very clever take on REAR WINDOW and a total blast from the '80s.

Another remix...

And, of course, I couldn't leave out Frankie (seems the volume always gets cranked up during this particular scene)...

The above music video is actually the second made for "Relax." This is not a direct port from the film, rather the rare companion music video which is also directed by De Palma. Very cool tie-in, since this incorporates a certain character from the film. Would have been a nice addition to the special edition DVD.

CUT!

Duke Mitchell: An Appreciation

2010-07-07T08:46:00.017-05:00

This past Saturday night, I had the pleasure of attending a screening of GONE WITH THE POPE, Duke Mitchell's previously incomplete, final film. And, yes, I dug it. But, truthfully, there was no way I wouldn't. If the film was an hour and a half of Mitchell going up and down an escalator, I would proclaim it to be greatness.
But, more on that later.

I became a fan of Duke Mitchell, by way of being a Bela Lugosi fan first. My initiation was the infamous cult oddity, BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA, which I first saw as THE BOYS FROM BROOKLYN in either 1985 or '86 on a long-since-defunct Oregon-based local channel which exhibited tons of public domain classic features along with occasional episodes of PERRY MASON. It was this channel (22 on the dial, but I don't remember the call letters), where I first saw Lon Chaney's PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, George A. Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and my first Lugosi film (and, that of the East Side Kids, as well), SPOOKS RUN WILD.

I genuinely like BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA. 'Deed I do! Masquerading as a spooktacular horror film (think Abbott & Costello or Mantan Moreland), this 1952 Jack Broder production is essentially a starring vehicle for the comedy duo of Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo, considered here as the poor man's Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis for the drive-in circuit.

The audacity of aping (no pun intended) the Martin & Lewis dynamic with a "devil may care" approach, I've always found fascinating. And seeing Petrillo's uncanny mimicry of Lewis is pretty surreal the first time around. I couldn't believe this was a real film. How could they get away with it? Well, they only did once, thanks to Lewis, but that's another story.

As for Mitchell's performance, I admired that he didn't steal from Martin and really did his own thing. Sure, he was cool and had an amazing voice, but that's where the similarities end, I think. Not that they should be compared, but Mitchell's voice was so amazing that he, dare I say, tops Dino. Mitchell's range took crooning to a whole 'nother level, really. As much as I love Martin, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, Mel Torme, et al, Mitchell seemed to be in a different, advanced class. To this day, I find his style difficult to describe, almost as if he combined operatics with conventional lounge singing. A deep, interesting, soulful vibe. At first, I thought "He's dubbed". Well, yeah, he is lip-synching ...to himself. It wasn't until years later, when I came across one of his records, a 45 of the theme from THE CARELESS YEARS (a film, which I still have yet to see), that I put two and two together.

Fast forward to 1991, when upon the introduction of Hollywood Video in my hometown of Corvallis, Oregon, I rented a film based on it's sheer exploitation value entitled, THE EXECUTIONER. (I should also point out that it was distributed by Video Gems, one of the great, early VHS companies, which specialized in obscure, exploitation fare. Their brand had a major impact on my decision to pick it up. I rented as many Video Gems cassettes as I could find. Ah, I miss them so!) Looking at the big box, I didn't realize that the Duke Mitchell credited as writer/director could be the guy I knew and actually didn't think twice about it since his acting was credited to Dominic Miceli (his real name). It wasn't until I started watching the film, when I realized... "Hey, wait a minute!" Could this be the same guy? Good luck trying to find any information. This was pre-IMDB, pre-internet, pre-everything, really, and my only references were video/movie guides (Maltin, Ebert, Crisp... ACK... cetera) which never seemed to (and, probably still don't) mention this film. So, I was left to draw my own conclusion, which wasn't difficult once I heard his voice. Wow. Yes, this was an enjoyable, unapologetic mob picture, but the fact that this has Mitchell all over it, elevates it quite a bit. A few years later (my first week in Texas, actually), I was lucky enough to find a copy for purchase at a Wherehouse Music that was selling out their VHS rental library. Nevermind the fact that all their tapes were severely butchered cutboxes, for a mere five bucks, I finally had my own copy of Duke Mitchell's ultra-obscure THE EXECUTIONER and I was happy.

Fast forward again to 1998, when I was lucky enough to catch a midnite screening of Lucio Fulci's THE BEYOND, exhibited by Quentin Tarantino's Rolling Thunder Pictures and Grindhouse Releasing.

Not only was I going to finally see Fulci on the big screen, but there was a slew of classic exploitation trailers prior to the feature. CANNIBAL FEROX, DEEP RED, DETROIT 9000 and THE EVIL DEAD were all on display. Oh, and one more... MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE. To put it mildly, I nearly shat myself. Here was the trailer to the film I always knew as THE EXECUTIONER and I thought I was the only one, besides those involved, who knew of it. The crowd was going nuts watching, what was essentially, a reworking of the film's opening scene and I couldn't believe it. It's always a good feeling when you're in on the joke, and everyone else is just... there.

So, what did this really mean? Was this film available in another version I was unaware of? Nope. That was the film's original title, but didn't exist on video as anything other than THE EXECUTIONER and no one had released it, in the United States, besides Video Gems. Years later, Grindhouse Releasing (teases that they are) added the trailer to some of their DVD releases, but alas, still no word of a DVD release. It wasn't until Mitchell's son, Jeffrey, took it upon himself to get the ball rolling, just last year, on the first legitimate release -- a limited edition 2-disc affair known as "The Family Edition".

Produced, with great care, by John R. Hand in association with Jeffrey Mitchell, I am so pleased to have this DVD. To be fair, the film's presentation isn't pristine, rather the way we (anyone privy to the Video Gems release) have always known it. Having said that, it's important to note that it is better than that prior VHS, simply because there are no technical flaws. After going through two copies on my own (that Wherehouse VHS is nearly unwatchable now) I can honestly say that, for me, this DVD is a sigh of relief. No more tracking issues, Hi-Fi drop-outs or any other artifacts due to several rewinds and replays. I'm not sure if Hand and company tracked down the initial Video Gems master (removing the "A Joseph R. Juliano Presentation" logo from the beginning and restoring the MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE title card), but it definitely looks like that's the case. Or, they at least managed to find a reliable, mint copy. Whatever the case, I'm just happy to have a clear version that I don't have to worry about. No more "which VCR will track it better?" and so forth.

The real reason to pick this DVD up is for the plethora of bonus content. The DVD serves as a tremendous retrospective of Duke Mitchell's career -- one that was not dominated by film, rather a passion for music and the continuous performance of such. Mitchell was a true entertainer and here we get a rare and welcome glimpse into his legacy.

I cannot go on enough about how much care has been put into this package and, for the measly price of $30 (a true independent release and a limited one of 500 copies), it is well worth it. The exclusive LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON documentary is worth the price alone. Not to mention, there's a recording of an entire Duke Mitchell live performance, in addition to individual tracks (by both Duke and Jeffrey... think "Jacknife," folks), PDF files of the film's script (multiple drafts), a trailer to the upcoming release of Duke's tribute to Jimmy Durante and so much more. Apparently, Grindhouse is preparing a remastered version of the film, which some may want to wait for, but most likely, you won't see any of this supplemental material on their disc. As a completist, I look forward to their version, but for the feature presentation only. But, when Jeffrey Mitchell deemed his release as "The Family Edition," he really meant it. This is the real deal.

Back to GONE WITH THE POPE. Until a few years ago, I had no idea there was another Duke Mitchell film out there. When I first saw the trailer (or, should I say "teaser") back in 2005 on the Grindhouse DVD for CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, I was both excited and mystified. Another Mitchell movie?! How could this be? Simple. It was never completed. Thanks to Jeffrey Mitchell, who had kept all the film elements, notes, et cetera, it was passed to the Grindhouse boys (Bob Murawski and Sage Stallone) to live another life in a completed state, that is, if they could get it there. A long-time coming, Murawski has stated that the process took nearly 15 years. (Read about it HERE.)

So, when I found out that the film was truly getting released, again I was both excited and mystified. Was this really about to happen? Finally?! Having since seen the finished product, I can say that it was definitely a surreal experience. An experience that, if it were related to me 10 years ago, I'd never believe. "Guess what, Nate? There's this film that Duke Mitchell started shooting in 1975, yet he never completed and it will be painstakingly remastered and assembled for your theatrical viewing pleasure in 2010!" "Bullshit!," I most likely would have said... "Yer bluffin'!"

If I've learned anything about cinema, it's certainly to expect the unexpected, whether it be good or bad. Thankfully, this is quite a good thing. GONE WITH THE POPE was everything I'd hoped it would be and more. First off, it looks amazing, almost like a contemporary film based in the '70s. And, the plot is both fun and original. As always, Mitchell's passion and incredible presence overtake the film's constraints (whether it be budget or the less-impressive performances of his co-stars) and proves to be a marvel to watch. Witnessing a Mitchell monologue is a real poetic treat, and he has quite a few definite gems here.

As for being his final film, it really does smack of a swan song and is relatively bittersweet at times. All the signature Mitchell elements are present along with touches by Jeffrey (a brief performance towards the beginning and additions to the film's soundtrack, the amazing "Jacknife" included), which make the film very special.

GONE WITH THE POPE may not be groundbreaking or everyone's cup of tea but, as these things go, I think it's rather swell. Like MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE and BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA, we have yet another catchy-titled Mitchell extravaganza which has to been seen to be believed. Purely by happenstance, an astounding trilogy when you think about it.

The Complete METROPOLIS

2010-06-04T01:13:00.001-05:00

I had no idea that this was on the horizon until a friend linked the trailer on his site. It seems Kino has outdone themselves once more with yet another, but ultimately quite impressive, restoration of Fritz Lang's masterpiece, METROPOLIS.

A few years ago, Kino delivered an astounding restoration of the film on DVD. Preserving the correct film speed would have been miraculous enough, but the frame-by-frame clean-up is superb, making that version the definitive one... until now.

Somehow, Kino has managed to track down over twenty minutes of lost footage, presumably from two recently discovered prints. And, the good news is, we'll be able to indulge in it's wonder quite soon.

I was hoping to showcase the trailer here, but embedding has since been disabled, so please check it out HERE.

Excitement: 10/10

Deep Blu

2010-06-01T13:45:00.005-05:00

I'm in deep. Deep into Blu-ray, that is.

I've been resisting the format for quite some time, but finally caved upon viewing the cover for the Blu-ray edition of Peter Yates' THE DEEP.

THE DEEP is a favorite of mine, since I'm already obsessed with JAWS and this was the second Peter Benchley novel to be adapted to film. Oh, and that Jacqueline Bisset scene... you know the one.

Anyhow, I've owned it on VHS and DVD, but was shocked to see that the Blu-ray contained two sought out special features (the DVD and earlier Laserdisc had absolutely nothing): The CBS network special, THE MAKING OF THE DEEP (hosted by Robert Shaw) and select scenes from the 3-Hour television version. WHAT?! I must see these extras! So, the next step was purchasing a player and I went on the cheap with the $78 Magnavox bare-bones player at Wal-Mart. BD players don't get any cheaper and, for what it's worth, this is an exceptional player. The downfall is that it isn't BD Live enabled, but at this point, I don't care about that.

Happy to say that the extras on THE DEEP were well worth it, for me anyway. Although, there still is no theatrical trailer available and it would be nice to have the option to incorporate the televised scenes into the theatrical cut. These scenes are great, especially the prologue (featuring Cameron Mitchell!) and they add to the story.

So, now I was truly curious as to what other obscure films were floating around on BD with such rare features. As of yet, I haven't discovered a film to rival THE DEEP in this arena. Most films contain the same extras as their DVD counterparts. But, I've since discovered that there are quite a few exceptions to this rule. If BD is the superior format, why don't most companies do a better job in rivaling the extras of the earlier DVD? Makes no sense that films like THE AMITYVILLE HORROR, CARRIE, COMMANDO, THE GRADUATE, TOTAL RECALL and countless others don't live up to this. ROBOCOP has been issued twice on BD, but both versions are the 'R' rated release. Why would I want that? Oh, and thanks to Fox for retaining all the special features for PREDATOR 2, but none of which, aside from the trailer, for the original PREDATOR. That makes a lot of sense. People do care more about the sequel. (Insert fart sound here.)

I agree that BD is amazing, but studios need to live up to the format's potential. For the most part, I'm only purchasing titles that have the same extras, if not more, and still holding on to my DVDs. For the undemanding, in terms of extra content, BD might be the right choice, but I want those special features that I'm used to. Why downgrade, when we should be upgrading?

I like the idea of former 2-disc DVD releases fitting onto a single Blu-ray disc. (A great example is the release for DONNIE DARKO, which incorporates both prior DVD releases onto one disc, and retains the supplemental content of both.)

As much as I am impressed, I know that the completist in me will always have DVD.

The Texas Frightmare Massacre

2010-05-17T23:59:00.002-05:00

As you may or may not know, I have frequented ye olde Texas Frightmare Weekend every year since it's 2006 inception. Year after year, I've seen this operation grow to greater and greater proportion, but I wasn't the only fan who recognized it's growing potential. Last year, a group of local filmmakers, led by writer/director Joe Francis, turned this annual event into an opportunistic film venture aptly titled...
THE TEXAS FRIGHTMARE MASSACRE!

The filmmakers made it known that portions of the film would be shot on location during the 2009 event (and some fans were given the chance to participate in one form or another), so it was no surprise to see the finished film premiering at this year's convention. I was interested to see what Francis and Co. had come up with and especially interested to see how they incorporated the event into their storyline (and also, how they would be able to feature some of the main guests, if at all).

The film is cleverly divided into subsequent storylines that eventually intersect with the event. The first storyline involves Lyle (Joe Francis) and Eugene (Chad Pallett), a pair of slacker buds who, inspired by a rather enticing commercial, decide to enlist as security officers for a major hotel (in this case, the Sherat... er, uh... Adamston Grand). How does one prepare for such a job? By growing impressive mustaches, of course!

Right off the bat, the film establishes itself as not only an appreciation of horror films and the conventions that celebrate them, but also as a satiric nod, ripe with sly and subversive humor. Enter "The Boss," played by Hunter Barnett, an R. Lee Ermey type who slings hilarious insults at Lyle and Eugene during their training. Whether scripted or impromptu, the comedic chemistry between Francis, Barnett and Pallett is a wonder to watch. Perhaps, the most entertaining interaction is when complications ensue after "The Boss" demands to be called "sir," to which Lyle and Eugene mistake as "sire".

So, where does the massacre stuff come into play? It begins with the interwoven story of boyfriend/girlfriend Todd (David Ayers) and Mary (Melanie Smith), who are already set on attending the Texas Frightmare Weekend at the Adamston, when they receive news that they must bring along Mary's stepbrother, Max (Allen Reed), whom they both despise. Max is your typical giddy fanboy who often can't control himself and in turn irritates Mary and especially Todd. The irritation hits it's peak when they first arrive at their destination, resulting in a "parting of ways" for the trio.

Left on his own, Max basks in the glory of the convention, while attracting the suspecting eye of "The Boss". Undettered, Max is set on meeting his idol, Parrish Randall, independent horror extraordinaire. A staple of Texas Frightmare Weekend, Randall's appearance here garners some appreciative laughs, especially considering his negative portrayal which is definitely all in good fun. Needless to say, Max's chance meeting with his idol doesn't live up to his expectations, resulting in Randall and friends laughing at Max's clumsiness.

Rejected and humiliated, Max makes his way to his hotel room, a room he shares with, but is not welcomed by, Todd and Mary. Intruding, in a round-a-bout way, on one of the couples sex acts, Max is punished once again by Todd's raging bullish tactics... to the point where Max eventually retaliates. Unbeknownst to Mary, Max feverishly murders Todd in the bathroom and dons Todd's signature mask, a horse head. What happens next is an homage to John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN, where Max, now under the guise of Todd, begins to charm Mary who is waiting anxiously on the bed. Choosing to bound and gag her, rather than kill her, Max has officially spun off the deep end and so begins his Travis Bickle-like murdering spree.

Spurred by their boss' suspicion, newly appointed security officers (armed with broom, plunger and walkie talkies), Lyle and Eugene attempt to solve the deaths in bumbling Clouseau-like fashion. But, that's where I'm going to stop. Sorry, no further plot details. No way will I divulge as to whether or not there is more bloodshed, or more horse head mask wearing, or whether there may be a gratuitous, sudsy shower scene. Nope. You shant get such juice from me. You'll just have to see the movie for yourself.

In closing, blending horror with humor is not often easy, but Francis does quite well here by essentially constructing a comedy which cleverly allows the horror to seep in at a welcome pace. It might help to be a horror convention fanatic like me, but regardless, there is plenty to enjoy here. If you want blood, you've got it. If you want laughs, you've got 'em. And, if you want tits, you'll definitely get 'em!

Favorite quote:
"You have holsters to use instead of your armpits. The video should have covered that."

For more information, visit the film's official site and become a fan on Facebook.

Elvira's Movie Macbare: Count Dracula's Great Love

2010-04-18T13:25:00.000-05:00

Today feels like a rained in Naschy movie day.

Movie Tie-In Project, Part V.5

2010-04-17T16:19:00.000-05:00

Expect the expected.

Movie Tie-In Project, Part V: A New Beginning

2010-04-16T00:14:00.003-05:00

Yes, folks! Here it is!
The tie-in movie for the movie tie-in phenom!
Expect a sequel.

(Please rate... er, uh... "like" the video, favorite it, get to know it well, send it to your friends and family, take out an ad in your local trade paper, discuss it in high class &/or high dollar meetings, create a drinking game, drop a tantalizing mention during your next social gathering, create a drinking game for those who don't drink using sand or something, flaunt it while you got it, et cetera!)

Movie Tie-In Project, Part IV: Found Treasures

2010-04-08T10:00:00.002-05:00

ALIEN - Alan Dean Foster [Warner, 1979]
BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES
- David Gerrold [Award, 1973]
BLACK SUNDAY - Thomas Harris [Bantam, 1977]
CHILD'S PLAY 2 - Matthew J. Costello [Jove, 1990]
DOG DAY AFTERNOON - Patrick Mann [Dell, 1975]
THE EXORCIST III: LEGION - William Peter Blatty [Pocket, 1990]
FLASH GORDON - Arthur Byron Cover [Jove, 1980]
FLETCH - Gregory McDonald [Avon, 1985]
THE PEOPLE THAT TIME FORGOT - Edgar Rice Burroughs [Ace, 1977]
THE SWARM - Arthur Herzog [Signet, 1978]

STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE
- Gene Roddenberry [Pocket, 1979]
STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE
- Gene Roddenberry (Re-issue w/Alternate cover) [Pocket, 1987]
STAR TREK (II): THE WRATH OF KHAN
- Vonda N. McIntyre [Pocket, 1982]
STAR TREK (II): THE WRATH OF KHAN
- Vonda N. McIntyre (Alternate cover) [Pocket, 1982]
STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK
- Vonda N. McIntyre [Pocket, 1984]
STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME
- Vonda N. McIntyre [Pocket, 1986]
STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER
- J.M. Dillard [Pocket, 1989]
STAR TREK VI: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY
- J.M. Dillard [Pocket, 1992]

And, some titles that've been seen here before, but now tied with their paperback brethren.

DARK STAR - Alan Dean Foster [Ballantine, 1975]
DARK STAR - Alan Dean Foster
(Re-issue w/Alternate artwork) [Del Rey, 1978]
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK - Mike McQuay [Bantam, 1981]
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK - Mike McQuay
(Re-issue w/Alternate artwork) [Bantam Spectra, 1985]
HALLOWEEN - Curtis Richards [Bantam, 1979]
HALLOWEEN - Curtis Richards
(Alternate cover w/Poster artwork) [Bantam, 1979]
HALLOWEEN II - Jack Martin (Dennis Etchison) [Zebra, 1981]
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH
- Jack Martin (Dennis Etchison) [Jove, 1982]
THE FOG - Dennis Etchison [Bantam, 1980]
THE THING - Alan Dean Foster [Bantam, 1982]

THE TERMINATOR
- Randall Frakes & Bill Wisher [Bantam Spectra, 1991]
TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
- Randall Frakes [Bantam Spectra, 1991]
TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES
- David Hagberg [Tor, 2003]

Note: Title description contains the actual publishing date of the exact printing in my collection and doesn't necessarily reflect the initial date of either the novel or film.

Movie Memories: One year ago today...

2010-04-07T20:49:00.008-05:00

...I first saw SUNSHINE CLEANING.

Starring: Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Alan Arkin, Jason Spevack,
Steve Zahn, Mary Lynn Rajskub and Clifton Collins, Jr.

Directed by Christine Jeffs
2008, Overture Films

Great little film.

Happy Birthday April ;)

doubleplusgood

2010-04-06T10:30:00.001-05:00

Perhaps the greatest filmed adaptation of George Orwell's novel. Every once in a while, I find myself drawn to this beautiful montage by YouTube user ZioZambe, composed of scenes from Michael Radford's film set to "Who Put The Weight Of The World On My Shoulders?" by Oasis.

Perfect.
Favor it, won't you?

Movie Tie-In Project, Part III

2010-04-05T06:12:00.004-05:00

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA - Gaston Leroux [Warner, 1986] *
PLATOON LEADER - James R. McDonough [Bantam, 1988]
POLTERGEIST II: THE OTHER SIDE
- James Kahn [Ballantine, 1986]
PRETTY IN PINK - H.B. Gilmour [Bantam, 1986] **
PROPHECY - David Seltzer [Ballantine, 1979]
THE RAVEN - Eunice Sudak [Lancer, 1963]
THE REINCARNATION OF PETER PROUD
- Max Ehrlich [Bantam, 1975]
ROLLERBALL - William Harrison [Warner, 1975]
ROMANCING THE STONE
- Joan Wilder (Catherine Lanigan) [Avon, 1984]
RUMBLE FISH - S.E. Hinton [Dell, 1983]

'SALEM'S LOT - Stephen King [Signet, 1979]
SCANNERS - Leon Whiteson [Tower, 1981]
THE SEARCHERS - Alan Le May [Popular Library, 1962]
SERPICO - Peter Maas [Bantam, 1976]
SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND
- Henry Edwards [Pocket, 1978]
THE SHINING - Stephen King [Signet, 1980]
SWAMP THING - David Houston & Len Wein [Tor, 1982]
TAXI DRIVER - Richard Elman [Bantam, 1976] ***
THE TERMINATOR
- Randall Frakes & Bill Wisher [Bantam Spectra, 1991]
THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT - Joe Millard [Award, 1974]

THE TOWER - Richard Martin Stern [Warner, 1974] ****
TRON - Brian Daley [Del Rey, 1982]
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY - Arthur C. Clarke [Signet, 1982]
VIDEODROME - Jack Martin (Dennis Ethison) [Zebra, 1983]
VISITING HOURS - Kent Rembo [Pinnacle, 1982]
THE WARRIORS - Sol Yorick [Dell, 1979]
THE WEREWOLF VS. (THE) VAMPIRE WOMAN
- Arthur N. Scarm [Guild-Hartford, 1972]
THE WICKER MAN
- Robin Hardy & Anthony Shaffer [Pocket, 1979]
WOLFEN - Whitley Strieber [Bantam, 1981]
ZARDOZ - John Boorman with Bill Stair [Signet, 1974]

THE OMEN - David Seltzer [Signet, 1976]
DAMIEN: OMEN II - Joseph Howard [Signet, 1978]
THE FINAL CONFLICT - Gordon McGill [Signet, 1981]
And, the written sequels which were never filmed
(but, should have been)...
OMEN IV: ARMAGEDDON 2000 - Gordon McGill [Signet, 1982]
OMEN V: THE ABOMINATION - Gordon McGill [Signet, 1985]

And, yet, there's more on the way...

Note: Title description contains the actual publishing date of the exact printing in my collection and doesn't necessarily reflect the initial date of either the novel or film.

* So, this book came out 61 years after the Lon Chaney film, but it's got him on the cover, so I'm counting it!

** Based on the initial screenplay and includes the original and most appropriate ending where Duckie gets the girl. Due to the complaints of test audiences, the ending was re-shot so that the rich guy would get the girl. That B.S. occurs enough in real life, why do we need it on the silver screen, too?!

*** Apparently, John Hinckley, Jr. had a copy of this paperback in his jail cell, during the time he wrote "fan" letters to Jodie Foster.

**** Irwin Allen's production of THE TOWERING INFERNO was based on two novels, the second of which is THE GLASS INFERNO
by Thomas N. Scortia & Frank M. Robinson.

Movie Tie-In Project, Part II

2010-04-04T14:35:00.015-05:00

ALFIE - Bill Naughton [Ballantine, 1966]
AMERICAN GRAFFITI
- George Lucas, Gloria Katz & Willard Huyck [Ballantine, 1974]
THE AMITYVILLE HORROR - Jay Anson [Bantam, 1978] *
BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES
- Michael Avallone [Bantam, 1974]
THE BLACK HOLE - Alan Dean Foster [Del Rey, 1979]
BLADE RUNNER - Philip K. Dick [Del Rey, 1982]
BLOW OUT - Neal Williams [Bantam, 1981]
THE BLUES BROTHERS - "Miami Mitch" Glazer [Jove, 1980]
THE BOOGENS
- Charles E. Sellier, Jr. & Robert Weverka [Bantam, 1981]
BUCKAROO BANZAI - Earl Mac Rauch [Pocket, 1984]

THE CANNONBALL RUN - Michael Avallone [Leisure, 1981]
CARRIE - Stephen King [Signet, 1976]
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND
- Steven Spielberg [Dell, 1978]
CONAN THE BARBARIAN
- L. Sprague De Camp & Lin Carter [Bantam, 1982]
CORVETTE SUMMER - Wayland Drew [Signet, 1978]
DAMNATION ALLEY - Roger Zelazny [Berkley Medallion, 1977]
DEAD & BURIED - Chelsea Quinn Yarbro [Warner, 1980]
DELIVERANCE - James Dickey [Dell, 1973]
DIRTY MARY, CRAZY LARRY - Richard Unekis [Manor, 1974]
DRACULA - Bram Stoker
(Abridged w/Lugosi artwork) [Scholastic, 1971] **

DRACULA - Bram Stoker [Jove, 1979]
EMMANUELLE II: THE JOYS OF A WOMAN
- Emmanuelle Arsan [Ballantine, 1976]
ENTER THE DRAGON - Mike Roote [Award, 1973]
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK - Mike McQuay
(Re-issue w/Alternate artwork) [Bantam Spectra, 1985]
THE EXORCIST - William Peter Blatty [Bantam, 1974]
FADE TO BLACK - Ron Renauld [Pinnacle, 1980]
FINAL EXAM - Geoffrey Meyer [Pinnacle, 1981]
FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART 3 - Simon Hawke
(Re-issue w/poster artwork) [Signet, 1988]
GOIN' COCONUTS - Vic Crume [Dell, 1979]
THE GRADUATE - Charles Webb [Signet, 1967]

HOUNDS OF DRACULA - Ken Johnson [Signet, 1977]
HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE - Henry Williams [Dell, 1965]
IN SEARCH OF DRACULA
- Raymond T. McNally & Radu Florescu [Warner, 1973] ***
INCUBUS - Ray Russell [Dell, 1981]
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS - Jack Finney [Dell, 1979]
IT'S ALIVE! - Richard Woodley [Ballantine, 1977]
LAST TANGO IN PARIS - Robert Alley [Dell, 1973]
THE LEGACY - John Coyne [Berkley, 1979]
LIFEFORCE - Colin Wilson [Warner, 1985]
LOGAN'S RUN
- William F. Nolan & George Clayton Johnson [Bantam, 1976]

MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME - Joan D. Vinge [Warner, 1985]
THE MEN'S CLUB - Leonard Michaels [Avon, 1986]
MONTY PYTHON'S LIFE OF BRIAN - Graham Chapman, John Cleese,
Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones & Michael Palin [Ace, 1979]
NIGHTWING - Martin Cruz Smith [Jove, 1979]
ODE TO BILLY JOE - Herman Raucher [Dell, 1976]
THE OMEGA MAN (I AM LEGEND)
- Richard Matheson [Berkley Medallion, 1971]
ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST - Ken Kesey [Signet, 1975]
ORCA - Arthur Herzog [Pocket, 1977]
OUTLAND - Alan Dean Foster [Warner, 1981]
THE OUTSIDERS - S.E. Hinton [Dell, 1983]

You best believe there's more on the way!

Note: Title description contains the actual publishing date of the exact printing in my collection and doesn't necessarily reflect the initial date of either the novel or film.

* Technically, this is a pre-movie tie-in with "Coming as an American International Picture" printed on the back cover. The film released the following year.

** So, this book came out 40 years after the Lugosi film, but it's got him on the cover, so I'm counting it!

*** Hey, how'd that get in there?! Okay, another slip. The book was published in '73, but the film wasn't made until '75. So, it doesn't count.

+ UPDATE: April 8, 2010 +

THE SPACE VAMPIRES - Colin Wilson [Pocket, 1976]
Since I already posted the movie tie-in version (LIFEFORCE), I thought it would be fun to include the original novel, as well.

Movie Tie-In Project, Part I

2010-04-03T19:23:00.001-05:00

ROCKY - Julia Sorel [Ballantine, 1977]
THE LORDS OF FLATBUSH - Leonore Fleischer [Scholastic, 1977]
PARADISE ALLEY - Sylvester Stallone [Berkley, 1978]
F.I.S.T. - Joe Eszterhas [Dell, 1978]
SYLVESTER STALLONE'S OFFICIAL ROCKY SCRAPBOOK
- Sylvester Stallone [Tempo Star, 1977]
FIRST BLOOD - David Morrell [Fawcett Crest, 1985]
ROCKY IV - Sylvester Stallone [Ballantine, 1985]
OVER THE TOP - Joel Don Humphreys [St. Martin's Press, 1987]

THE MECHANIC - John Lewis Carlino [Signet, 1972]
THE STONE KILLER - John Gardner [Award, 1973]
DEATH WISH - Brian Garfield [Fawcett Crest, 1974]
NEVADA PASS - Alistair MacLean (German Language) [Heyne, 1985]

JAWS - Peter Benchley [Bantam, 1975]
THE DEEP - Peter Benchley [Bantam, 1977]
THE ISLAND - Peter Benchley [Bantam, 1980]
JAWS 2 - Hank Searls [Bantam, 1978]
JAWS 2 - Hank Searls (Alternate Cover) [Bantam, 1978]
JAWS THE REVENGE - Hank Searls [Berkley, 1987]

STAR WARS - George Lucas [Del Rey, 1977]
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK - Donald F. Glut [Del Rey, 1980]
RETURN OF THE JEDI - James Kahn [Del Rey, 1983]
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK - Campbell Black [Ballantine, 1981]
INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
- James Kahn [Ballantine, 1984]
INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE
- Rob MacGregor [Ballantine, 1989]
SUPERMAN: LAST SON OF KRYPTON - Elliot S. Maggin [Warner, 1978]
SUPERMAN: MIRACLE MONDAY - Elliot S. Maggin [Warner, 1980]
SUPERMAN III - William Kotzwinkle [Warner, 1983]
SUPERGIRL - Norma Fox Mazer [Warner, 1984]

BEYOND AND BACK - Ralph Wilkerson [Bantam, 1978]
BEYOND DEATH'S DOOR - Maurice Rawlings [Bantam, 1979]
SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER - H.B. Gilmour [Bantam, 1977]
STAYING ALIVE - Leonore Fleisher [Pocket, 1983]
WILLARD - Stephen Gilbert [Lancer, 1971]
BEN - Gilbert A. Ralston [Bantam, 1972]
THE NIGHTMARES ON ELM STREET 1, 2 & 3: THE CONTINUING STORY
- Jeffrey Cooper [St. Martin's Press, 1987]
THE NIGHTMARES ON ELM STREET 4 & 5
- Joseph Locke [St. Martin's Press, 1989]
ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE - Ian Fleming [Signet, 1969]
LICENCE TO KILL - John Gardner [Charter, 1989]

More to come!

Note: Title description contains the actual publishing date of the exact printing in my collection and doesn't necessarily reflect the initial date of either the novel or film.

Cinephemera, Where Art Thou?

2010-04-01T12:07:00.012-05:00

I miss the days of movie tie-in memorabilia, not that it doesn't exist today, but it's just not the same. Nowadays, it's all about bangin' you over the head with an abundance of crap. (i.e. anything from the TWILIGHT series, HARRY POTTER or the emo-fueled resurgence of THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS.)

Theatrical promo items have been lacking for years. Gone are the days of the 40x60 heavy card stock posters, insert posters, half sheets and lobby cards. Gone also is the movie program. Some theaters offered these to patrons depending on the marketing of the film. Basically, you could buy your bucket o' caffeine, bucket o' eventual kernel slivers that embed themselves neatly between your teeth and gums (Sorry, not a popcorn fan, unless we're talking about the Jill Schoelen kind) and a program. Patterned after the Playbill, it served as a nice memento for when movie-going used to be an experience.

Along with programs, you'd be hard pressed to find those official movie magazines or poster books. I don't follow comic books, so I'm not sure if comic book adaptations still make the rounds or not, but they were quite the big thing, courtesy of Marvel and DC, in the '70s and '80s.

Production diaries were a big thing in paperback, back then...

Then you had those awesome Fotonovels...

Fotonovels made a slight return in 1999, with titles like THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT and CHARLIE'S ANGELS, but soon vanished once again. I say they should be brought back, but not for current fare... let's go back and adapt classic films. A Fotonovel for CHINATOWN, anyone?

As for movie tie-in paperbacks, don't get me started.
Too late! I already started. Here's a taste...

HALLOWEEN - Curtis Richards [Bantam, 1979]
HALLOWEEN - Curtis Richards
(Alternate cover w/Poster artwork) [Bantam, 1979]
HALLOWEEN II - Jack Martin (Dennis Etchison) [Zebra, 1981]
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH
- Jack Martin (Dennis Etchison) [Jove, 1982]
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK - Mike McQuay [Bantam, 1981]
DARK STAR - Alan Dean Foster [Ballentine, 1975]
THE FOG - Dennis Etchison [Bantam, 1980]
THE THING - Alan Dean Foster [Bantam, 1982]

(To Be Continued...)

Sorta feels like '86

2010-03-31T21:34:00.012-05:00

So, I just saw HOT TUB TIME MACHINE, which I thought would be fun and it is. But... while they're spot on in some respects, there are far too many inaccuracies here for a time-traveling comedy. I know, I should let this stuff slide a bit and if I pick and prod too much, I might not enjoy it.

But, it's a bit distracting when there's a poster for RAMBO III on the wall in '86, or characters from that era referencing 21 JUMP STREET. Especially annoying when you consider that, in some instances, royalty fees could have been avoided had the filmmakers done their research. (i.e. Paying for the inclusion of "I Just Died In Your Arms" by The Cutting Crew, a 1987 song that is heard playing on an '86-era radio.)

There's more mistakes, but I can't remember or perhaps didn't notice them. Not a huge deal, but it's a bit lazy and it seems to be a constant issue with period films. (AMERICAN GRAFFITI had a couple post 1962 songs on it's soundtrack.) The worst or, I should say, best example of this is AUSTIN POWERS: GOLDMEMBER. A film which bases itself in 1975 shouldn't include a Viagra joke from anyone who isn't privy to the future. Wait, the inconsistent honor really should go to BEOWULF with Christopher Lambert. Sure, it's a fantasy film, but it amazes me how many times I've had to point out to viewers that PA systems and jacket zippers were actually quite uncommon in the middle ages. Oy.

I don't get it. With HOT TUB TIME MACHINE, if it's not inaccuracy, it's missed opportunity. How can you pay homage to one John Cusack film, SIXTEEN CANDLES, and completely miss the boat on a nod to ...BETTER OFF DEAD? After all, this is a ski resort. I guess they didn't get the K-12 memo? Or, since this is an MGM/UA film, why not reference the most obvious '80s sex-on-the-slopes comedy, HOT DOG... THE MOVIE, which MGM/UA already owns? Double oy.

Aside from all that, while it may not be epic or ground-breaking, HOT TUB TIME MACHINE is a fun concept which makes for a fun ride. Besides, any film starring both Chevy Chase and Crispin Glover can't be all bad!

"Hello, 1988? We were wondering if you had any posters to help dress our 1986 set with..."

For added fun, check out these online games based on the film:
WHACK-A-DOUCHE
NICK'S STRIP QUIZ
SOUND BOARD
(Adult content. Age verification required.)

Another late night at Club Elysium

2010-03-30T19:00:00.008-05:00

I love PIRANHA, PART TWO: THE SPAWNING.
There. I said it. And, I don't care what people think.

I had the DVD rotating in the disc changer and awakened to it at around 2am last night. I should have been gathering winks for my next day at work, but I found myself watching the entire film for the umpteenth time.

This is, of course, James Cameron's first film as director, and certainly the most lambasted. So many stories as to why. The production, alone, is the stuff of legend, so I won't get into any of that here.

For years, horror nuts like me only had the truncated U.S. version to watch on home video, via Embassy Home Entertainment, which was fine, until I saw the film on television with additional scenes and others in the correct order. A revelation for sure and it made for a stronger storyline, making sense where it didn't completely make sense before. Perhaps the truncated version is the one everyone has seen and hates. I dunno. But, even in that crude 84 minute version, I still love it. Not nearly as much as Joe Dante's original, which I spent many summer days and nights watching.

Fast forward to 2002, when Columbia TriStar decided to release it to DVD... I was stoked! Of course, I despised the horrible DVD cover art, but nonetheless, I had to have it. To my surprise, Columbia TriStar managed to unearth the complete, unedited international version with all those missing scenes (and the nude diver sequence presented as a prologue to the main credits). Goodbye 84 minutes and hello 93!

It puzzles me why people hate the film as much as they do. Perhaps, it's simply the comparison of these humble beginnings to what Cameron would later do in his career. This film delivers the goods and has "exploitation good time" written all over it. Flying piranha, folks! How could you hate any film with flying piranha?! Some say the concept is absurd, I say it's genius. And, why not? The first PIRANHA already introduced the idea of scientifically-engineered fresh water beasties.

The performances aren't too shabby, either. You've got the always awesome Lance Henriksen as chief of police. Nearly all his scenes are hilarious whenever he patronizes someone, particularly the captain who simply won't turn on his damned radio. "Turn on your radio, you jackass!" Priceless.

Tricia O'Neil is the true lead here and I always hoped she would do more, of course, PIRANHA II doesn't exactly scream street cred. She reminds me of a cross between Kay Lenz and Adrienne Barbeau. Can't go wrong there! (Note: Cameron later gave her a small role in TITANIC.)

And, the score by "Steve Powder" ...er, uh... Stelvio Cipriani is superb. An original score that doesn't borrow from Pino Donaggio's PIRANHA score, yet exists on it's own, beautifully. A nice companion piece to his earlier score for TENTACLES, by the way.

Henriksen will be attending this year's Texas Frightmare Weekend, and I'll be bringing my soundtrack album along for him to sign.
I hope he appreciates my geekdom!

(The sinister sounding German trailer)

Supernature Shouldabeen

2010-03-24T18:40:00.005-05:00

The other day, a friend and I were discussing '70s disco act Cerrone. He told me how he had been catching up on some of Cerrone's current work and how the artist had been chooglin' along ever since his career-defining single, "Supernature" from his third album, hit huge back in 1978.

Well, I had no idea. None at all. In fact, all this time, having not researched Cerrone, I thought he was another one hit wonder.

I first discovered "Supernature" on one of those bargain bin disco compilation cassettes (you know, the $3.99 specials) in the late '80s. I instantly dug the track for it's Goblin-esque driving synth sound and, more importantly, it's macabre storyline: mutated creatures (the supernature crowd), evolving throughout time and eventually rising from the contaminated muck to exact revenge on the cause, mankind. Now, why this wasn't tied to a film, is beyond me. Very Dr. Moreau-ish. Reminds me of THE TWILIGHT PEOPLE and especially the army test site sequence from Joe Dante's PIRANHA.

Anyhow, I finally got around to looking up the original promotional video on YouTube and here it is:

Total cheese and ultimately a disappointment compared to one's imaginative visions inspired by the lyrics. Seems to be a frequent problem with videos, although nowadays, they're all too literal and not in a good way.

Of course, I wouldn't want to see "Supernature" adapted to film today. The concept would have worked well in it's time, but a current attempt, I think, would fall flat. It certainly wouldn't feature practical creature effects. Also, it would probably be too preachy, hence dispensing of any exploitable aspects.

But, since this is all "what if?" fodder, I thought I'd throw together a little mock movie poster of my own for the movie that should have been. (You like?)

Jaeckel Jaw'd Grefénatics Ahoy!

2010-03-16T23:22:00.012-05:00

If you've read this blog before, you know that I'm an avid JAWS fan. And, I also love the films influenced by it's success. One of the earliest and most interesting efforts in that sub-genre is William Grefé's THE JAWS OF DEATH (a.k.a. MAKO: THE JAWS OF DEATH). I love this film. Maybe it's because I'm a fan of William Grefé and his other classics (DEATH CURSE OF TARTU, STANLEY and IMPULSE, to name a few). Maybe it's because Richard Jaeckel is consistently great in every film he made (maybe also, because my uncle got to hang out with him on the set of SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION) or, maybe, just maybe, I'm just a sucker for this type of entertainment. Answer: All of the above.

Having just watched THE JAWS OF DEATH for the umpteenth time, I decided to search YouTube for anything related ...and, I done found me some treasure!

First, a review from "adorKable" YT user PiperDork, who not only loves the film, but was lucky enough to discuss it's production with producer/director Grefé himself!

Next up, is a promo from the film's showcase on The CBS Late Movie. (I truly miss those late nite treats!)

And, finally, the Super 8 version, which I've always wanted to see. It may not be top notch quality, but it is super rare (and, it includes some alternate footage and music). Enjoy!

Part One
(Note: Quite annoying, the video cuts out at the 4:15 mark and restarts, not resumes, at the 4:45 mark, so my advice is to pause the video initially allowing it to fully load, then forward to 4:45.)

Part Two

Mod Frank

2010-03-14T23:39:00.002-05:00

So, I recently befriended... er, uh... beFacebooked comedian Frank Conniff (TV's Frank of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000, CARTOON DUMP and CINEMATIC TITANIC fame) and over the past couple of weeks, I've been constantly amused by Frank's daily statuses. And, today's is particularly great.

Frank Conniff "is sad to report that due to a combination of daylight savings time and last night's airing on cable of the movie version of THE MOD SQUAD, I lost three hours."

See? I told you.

Warner's Bad Math Collection...

2010-03-12T18:09:00.005-06:00

...featuring the films of Clint Eastwood!

I'm no mathematics whiz, but this collection boasts 35 films spanning 35 years of Eastwood's career.

Films included in this set:
- WHERE EAGLES DARE (1968)
- KELLY'S HEROES (1970)
- DIRTY HARRY (1971)
- MAGNUM FORCE (1973)
- THE ENFORCER (1976)
- THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES (1976)
- THE GAUNTLET (1977)
- EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE (1978)
- BRONCO BILLY (1980)
- ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN (1980)
- HONKYTONK MAN (1982)
- FIREFOX (1982)
- SUDDEN IMPACT (1983)
- CITY HEAT (1984)
- TIGHTROPE (1984)
- PALE RIDER (1985)
- HEARTBREAK RIDGE (1986)
- BIRD (1988)
- THE DEAD POOL (1988)
- PINK CADILLAC (1989)
- WHITE HUNTER, BLACK HEART (1990)
- THE ROOKIE (1990)
- UNFORGIVEN (1992)
- A PERFECT WORLD (1993)
- THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY (1995)
- ABSOLUTE POWER (1997)
- MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL (1997)
- TRUE CRIME (1999)
- SPACE COWBOYS (2000)
- BLOOD WORK (2002)
- MYSTIC RIVER (2003)
- MILLION DOLLAR BABY (2004)
- LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA (2006)
- GRAN TORINO (2008)
Plus, an all-new documentary exclusive to this set:
- THE EASTWOOD FACTOR (2010)

In actuality, there are only 34 films here, with THE EASTWOOD FACTOR being a straight-to-DVD documentary on Eastwood's career, which they seem to consider the 35th film. Sorry, that doesn't count.

And, if you were paying attention, from WHERE EAGLES DARE to GRAN TORINO is a span of 40 years. Even if you consider the documentary, that puts us at 42 years.

I'm demanding a recount here, WB, with an expected re-issue to follow.

Suggested collection titles...
CLINT EASTWOOD: 34 FILMS, 40 YEARS
...or...
CLINT EASTWOOD: 34 FILMS, 1 MORE COBBLED-TOGETHER CAREER RETROSPECTIVE, 42 YEARS
...or...
CLINT EASTWOOD: YET ANOTHER EASTWOOD-RELATED BOX SET FROM WARNER
...or...
CLINT EASTWOOD: THE "PERFECT LAST MINUTE FATHER'S DAY GIFT" COLLECTION
...or...
CLINT EASTWOOD: A SET OF FILMS THAT YOU SHOULD ALREADY OWN INDIVIDUALLY, SINCE YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF SUCH AN EASTWOOD COMPLETIST (BUY IT NOW BEFORE ANYONE FINDS OUT THAT YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THAN AN EASTWOOD POSER!)
...or...
CLINT EASTWOOD: NATHAN'S CHANCE TO AGAIN PURCHASE ALL THE FILMS HE'S ALREADY PURCHASED + A SLEW OF BONUS FEATURES (i.e. EASTWOOD'S LESSER FILMS THAT NATHAN DIDN'T CHOOSE TO PURCHASE INTENTIONALLY THE FIRST TIME... PINK CADILLAC, ANYONE?)

While I'm thinking about it, I'm imagining that if this set was ever presented to a group of people in a "Hey, let's watch an Eastwood flick" scenario, I highly doubt anyone would pipe up with "Dude, put in MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL!"

Sorry, Clint.

More eBay nonsense...

2010-03-09T20:21:00.010-06:00

It's one thing when someone doesn't know what they're selling and it's an entirely different set of circumstances when the seller knows damn well that their item is not 100% authentic. Such is the case with eBay seller "glamore451".

This seller has listed a photo reprint of a cast signed laserdisc of JAWS. The following is their brief description:
A FABULOUS REPRINT. GUARANTEED NOT TO BE A FORGERY.

My message to the seller:
"GUARANTEED NOT TO BE A FORGERY." Interesting, considering the photo is of a 1987 pressed laserdisc and Robert Shaw died in 1978. Oh, and Murray Hamilton, he died in 1986.

Such a shame to see this type of thing going on and sadly, I've seen it a lot with JAWS-related memorabilia. I'll never forget the JAWS THE REVENGE poster signed posthumously by Robert Shaw. Which is worse: the fact that he didn't appear in the fourth film in the franchise because his character died in the first film, or... the fact that he wouldn't have appeared in the film anyhow since he passed away nine years before it was made?

Yes, I reported that one.

"There's grapes in my sands box!"

2010-03-09T19:11:00.009-06:00

Someone call the Warlocksmith!

From eBay:
1989 "WARLOCK" MOVIE STILL PHOTO JULIAN SANDS?

WOW! WHAT A FIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE IS A 1989 MOVIE STILL PHOTO OF "WARLOCK" WITH JULIAN SANDS (I THINK)!! IT IS IN EXCELLENT CONDITION, HOWEVER, PLEASE LOOK AT THE SCAN TO DETERMINE THE CONDITION FOR YOURSELF. PLEASE NOTE THAT EVEN THOUGH THE TITLE MAY APPEAR SIMILAR TO OTHER TITLES, IT IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AUCTION ALL TOGETHER. THIS CAN BE A GREAT GIFT FOR ALL FANS AND COLLECTORS!!!

Of course, that's not Julian Sands, rather HENRY FONDA(!!!) from another film entitled WARLOCK. How can one specialize in selling movie memorabilia and NOT KNOW what Henry Fonda looks like?! Not to mention, if one were to understand Roman numerals, the year is printed on the still... which translates as 1959, not 1989.

"Ugh" to the "Duh".

Random Musings: Tiger Of The Month!

2010-03-08T03:13:00.001-06:00

(Drumroll)
Survey says... Henry Winkler!

Ladies... ladies... control yo'selves!
(Pinch)

Oscars 2010: Best & Worst Dressed

2010-03-08T02:14:00.000-06:00

No, I haven't sold out and joined the dark side. I feel the need to comment, in written form this time, on the best dressed vs. worst dressed crap. Honestly, who cares about these things? It's all about status and "who" are you wearing. Many moons ago, Conan O'Brien was asked this question at a red carpet event, by Joan Rivers, to which he replied, "I'm wearing Sears, Joan." Perfect.

Anyhow, my point is, as much as I say I don't care about any of it, whenever I see these lists, I nearly always disagree with something or someone. Critics love to bash on celebs, but they always seem to make the pity play when it comes to people who probably aren't used to this sort of thing. I don't mean to be a jerk, but let's be brutally honest: Does Oscar nominee Gabourey Sidibe truly belong on the "best dressed" list? I think not. I know that's harsh and I would have left her alone had it not been for her making it a point to continually flaunt herself any chance the camera focused on her. It was seriously cringe-inducing at the beginning of the show, when the best actress and actor nominees stood on stage together. Everyone kept it cool and smiled when the camera got to them, but not Sidibe. Someone needs to tell this girl that this is not an audition for America's Next Top Model. Unless she's trying to secure a spokesperson gig with the Michelin Tire Co., I'd suggest a little more... make that a lot more restraint and elegance. Real women may have curves, but this one needs a reality check. That is all.

The Year In Ticket Stubs (thus far)...

2010-03-04T04:58:00.011-06:00

January 9th, 2010:
IT'S COMPLICATED

I enjoyed this one, but mostly because of the company I had to see it with. And, poking smot can be quite entertaining.

January 22nd:
THE LOVELY BONES

I really wanted to like this film, but ultimately there was no satisfaction, particularly with the climax. Felt like a '70s-era hybrid of WHAT DREAMS MAY COME and STIR OF ECHOES. An interesting concept at first, proving tedious along the way, and afterwards, I wondered why I cared about these characters for two hours. Good to see Michael Imperioli in a period film, though. I couldn't quite place what '70s film I could see him in, but DOG DAY AFTERNOON continually went through my mind.

January 23rd:
YOUTH IN REVOLT

Fun and highly inventive coming-of-age story. This one deserves another chance, simply because of the non-perky mood I was in that day and the carbon-copy lame duck sitting a few seats away (decked in an oversized suit, David Byrne-wannabe style) who seemed to chuckle annoyingly at nearly every screen direction. Takes the wind out of the sails a bit when I legitimately think something is funny and want to laugh aloud.

February 3rd:
EDGE OF DARKNESS

Mel Gibson makes a welcome return to form in this slow burn of an action drama, which could easily round out an unofficial Gibson trilogy with RANSOM and PAYBACK. I was excited about this film once I saw the leaked trailer months ago. With Martin Campbell directing, Gibson's return to the screen couldn't have been in better hands. The opportunist at heart makes me wish there had been a tie-in "got milk" ad campaign featuring Danny Huston.

February 7th:
CRAZY HEART

Traditionally, every Super Bowl Sunday, I take in a showing of some film, knowing the crowd will be virtually non-existent, and also because I care nothing about sports. (Someone asked me that day who I was rooting for, to which I replied, "The Who.") Anyhow, I've always admired Jeff Bridges and I enjoyed this film as much as I thought I would. Bridges gives off that Kristofferson vibe and through all of his character's hang-ups, shines as someone you truly care about. The soundtrack is no slouch either and definitely worth picking up.

February 10th:
FROM PARIS WITH LOVE

When I initially saw the trailer for this film, and later the poster and T.V. spots, I wasn't impressed at all. The title didn't win me over, either. But, for some reason, I felt like seeing it. Maybe because I was in the mood for some type of John Travolta fix or maybe it was because I also like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, or, maybe, just maybe, it had more to do with the fact that I was willing to switch my mind off and settle in for a balls-to-the-wall action film. I'm glad I decided to see this film. I really enjoyed it, perhaps because I truly didn't have big expectations for it. In any case, the film works due to Travolta's performance. He's having so much fun on-screen that the vibe seems infectious. The blink-and-you-might-miss-it pseudo-cameo of Kelly Preston sitting in the background in one scene and, also, Travolta's PULP FICTION reference (think Europe) were nice touches.

February 12th (and 17th):
THE WOLFMAN (2010)

Anyone who knows me knows I've always been obsessed by movie monsters and it all started with the Universal monsters of yesteryear. While I'm not generally a fan of remakes, films like this make me giddy like a 5-year-old kid. Once I read an interview with Rick Baker mentioning how he signed on because it was important to him that the werewolf not be some CG-rendered creature, I was already sold. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON is one of my all-time faves and this felt like a nod in that direction, in addition to paying tribute to the original WOLF MAN. Of course, I'm a bit biased when it comes to werewolf fare (the practical effects variety) and it doesn't take much more to persuade me once I know that Baker is in his element and two actors that I'm obsessed with (Benecio Del Toro and the growl-inducing Emily Blunt) are in tow. I will admit that I wasn't crazy with the plot changes from the original, sort of takes the focus away from THE wolf man that this film is about, but I really can't complain. The film reminded me a lot of John Badham's DRACULA, including Danny Elfman's music, which seemed to echo the underrated John Williams score. Nice also to catch Baker's cameo in addition to a brief appearance by another AMERICAN WEREWOLF alum, David Schofield. Hugo Weaving brought great scene-chewing flair to his role and he came off here reminding me very much of Sam Neill (and that's a good thing). It took a long time getting here but, to me, THE WOLFMAN was worth the wait.

March 3rd:
AVATAR

When James Cameron made the speech at the Golden Globes, something to the effect of "If you haven't seen AVATAR already, you must be the only one," I felt as if he was speaking directly to me. Okay, so I waited to see this one for a good while, simply because it didn't interest me. But, after learning more about the film (i.e. Giovanni Ribisi is in it), I felt like maybe I was missing out. The mystery was there and it seemed like anyone who told me about it, spouted nothing other than "You've just got to see it. It's amazing." I usually don't lean towards the hype, in fact, such constant accolade makes me wait even longer to see something, and also, an empty theater never hurts. On the eve of another big-scale 3-D film's release (Tim Burton's ALICE IN WONDERLAND), I figured I should finally see AVATAR in 3-D before it's too late. I'm not one to bash films, at least in review form, since I feel it's a waste of my time to speak about something I don't care for, but I really tried to like AVATAR. Honest, I did. But, I just couldn't. Maybe it's because I'm so anti-CG, but with Cameron's films, that has never been a problem since his work has always been devoted to furthering the creative form. I really like Sam Worthington and I found the human story intriguing, but I couldn't sustain my interest beyond that. I'd liken it to a fireworks display. Most people love them, because of the "ooh and ahhh" factor, but I've never been big on flash alone. The film is certainly a visual feast, which is beautiful to look at, but after a while, I just didn't care anymore. And, if I don't care about that story, then it's going to be a long, long road to closing in on that approximate 160 minute running time. No disrespect to Cameron as the film is obviously well-made, but it just wasn't my bag. I made it to the 2-hour mark, went to the restroom and never went back. Sorry, folks. I realize it's me against the world on this one, but I'm quite used to that.

END SCENE

Way of the Irritating Fist

2010-03-03T21:38:00.003-06:00

I'm constantly entertained by the inane observations of IMDB user "fistoffury". Whether he's trolling threads and spouting filth about any actor named Jessica or Kristen, simply because he doesn't like "Jessicas" or "Kristens," or coming up with ridiculous crossovers like how he could take Michael Myers if he were a Ghostbuster or simply talking up Ferris Bueller whenever it's irrelevant to do so. This fool is beyond ridiculous.

I have his history bookmarked, so I can chime in on whatever moronic threads he might be posting. Here are some of my recent jabs. Enjoy!

fistoffury on Kristen Alderson:
Ordinarily I would say that Kristen Alderson is great, the problem is, though, I don't like Kristens. From my own observations I can say that Kristens are messed up.

My response:
Yet another immature, unintelligent, unfounded and completely misguided observation from "fistoffury," ladies and gentlemen. It's as if you have a "Generate Idiocy" button on your keyboard. Truly amazing.

fistoffury on General George S. Patton:
Patton was one of the best generals in the history of the USA. It was Patton who struck fear into the Nazis and stopped them cold. People need to stop putting Patton down, he was one of the best military leaders you could ask for. If he was a bit over the top, thats what war is all about. This is the U.S military we're talking about, not a daycare service. We were fighting the Nazis, a ruthless opponent. Its times like this when we must fight fire with fire. To stop an Adolf Hitler, you need a General Patton.

My response:
At first, I thought you were talking about a daycare service, but now I realize where you're going. Don't forget how Patton Oswalt stood up against Blue Collar comedy!

fistoffury on A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1984):
So who makes a better Mr. Scrooge, General Patton (George C. Scott) or Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart). Both actors played the role in different versions of A CHRISTMAS CAROL, so who was better?

My response:
That's a tough one. I think there should be a battle royale of all the Ebenezers in one ring. Last Scrooge standing towers over all. A ninth plan is in the works to resurrect the dead, so that no gravestone will be left unturned and no Ebenezer left out. Will Albert Finney be able to defeat a zombified, flesh-eating Seymour Hicks? Will Kelsey Grammer pass the preliminaries? Will Scrooge McDuck's Irishness reign supreme? Will Rich Little be billed as himself or W.C. Fields? Will the final round impress the Dickens out of me? I can't wait to find out!

fistoffury on HUMONGOUS (1982):
They should make a remake of this movie. This is who should play the various roles.

Sandy- Kristen Stewart
Eric- Robert Pattenson
Donna- Scout-Taylor Compton
Nick- Dyllan Christopher
Carla- Dakota Fanning
Bert- Jesse Eisenburg
The Killer- Paul Donald Wight, Jr

My response:
No.

Stop Eco Box Petition

2009-10-08T02:55:00.001-05:00

Stop Eco Box Petition

Don't know about you, but I despise these things. Initially, it appeared that only studios like Fox and Lionsgate were utilizing these cases, but the epidemic has since spread. (My noted appreciation to giants like Universal & Paramount for not yet jumping on the band wagon.)

As a collector, I dunno, I guess I'd like to pay for a case that is, dare I say, durable?!
If you agree, then please sign my petition!

A Powder Keg Of Black Fury!

2009-10-03T08:19:00.000-05:00

I cannot wait for Scott Sanders' BLACK DYNAMITE, an amazing love letter to black action films of the 1970s, to arrive.

Having recently viewed the trailer, I can honestly say that no one has gotten a retrospective take on that genre right... until now.

I've always liked Michael Jai White. Whether he's portraying Mike Tyson in an HBO biopic, trying desperately to salvage the unsalvagable SPAWN, hamming it up and getting the intended tone of UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: THE RETURN, showing up in bit parts like GETTING PLAYED, or doing battle with David Carradine in a deleted scene of KILL BILL, VOL. 2... the guy's got great talent and I've always felt that he hasn't been given the best opportunity to excell.

That is, until BLACK DYNAMITE came around.

The trailer is so much fun that I don't know how I'll be able to take the sheer righteousness of the actual feature-length film. The trailer is that good and, along with all the promotional materials, absolutely nails that era. BLACK DYNAMITE has the same devotion to detail to it's genre as Mel Brooks' YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN had to the Univesal monster classics of the '30s and '40s.

If you take Rudy Ray Moore's DOLEMITE and it's sequel, THE HUMAN TORNADO, coupled with Greydon Clark's BLACK SHAMPOO (Jai White's look is reminiscent of John Daniels, complete with a Thalmus Rasulala-style mustache) and a dash of FOXY BROWN smoothness... you've got a pretty good idea just how right on the vibe of BLACK DYNAMITE is. The only thing missing here is an AIP/Dimension Pictures co-production logo. (Not a realistic feat, I realize, but a boy can dream can't he?!)

I haven't even seen this film yet and I already want more.
Sequel upon sequel, please!

The Boon They Call SEVENTH MOON

2009-10-01T23:08:00.004-05:00

I've been waiting for this one to release for quite some time.
I loved the teaser trailer, particularly that final shot of Amy Smart running from a horde of the demonic dead.

This is Eduardo Sánchez's third film. His first, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (which he co-directed with Daniel Myrick) caused quite a stir. Either you loved or hated that film and there seemed to be no indifference amongst audiences. Well, I loved that film and I expect that the same love/hate relationship could be said about his latest, SEVENTH MOON. For the most part, I've seen some pretty negative reviews. I don't know what these people are expecting from an extremely low budget horror film elaborating on a myth.

Sounds a bit harsh, but rarely do I see films that I don't like. If a film interests me, I'll see it and enjoy it. If one doesn't strike my fancy, I'll avoid it and stay happy. It's that simple. I don't let reviews sway me like most people do. In fact, I don't believe a review is worth reading until you've already seen the film in question. People fall for that shit constantly. "Well, Leonard Maltin didn't care for it, so I won't bother." WHAT?! Are people that ignorant? Yes. Yes, they are. The other popular thing to do is to talk shit about films, which, again, I don't really see the point. If they're not worth my attention, I won't devote time to complaining about it.

Okay, lost my train of thought...
Ah, yes...
Some folks don't dig SEVENTH MOON.
I did.

I won't go into details but I found the Chinese myth concept intriguing. As described at the beginning of the film and on the film's poster: On the full moon of the seventh lunar month, the gates of hell open and the spirits of the dead are freed to roam among the living.

The principle cast consists of Amy Smart, whom I seem to like more and more, newcomer Tim Chiou and Dennis Chan (of the Van Damme films, KICKBOXER and KNOCK OFF).

Overall, this is a creepy little film. I bitch not!

Blunt Obsessive

2009-09-28T03:11:00.010-05:00

So, I love Emily Blunt.

Can't get enough of her.

And, I absolutely cannot wait for THE WOLFMAN to be released, finally.

And, yes...

...this entry is nothing more than a shameless excuse to post some lovely pictures.

And, I do mean "lovely".

That is all (for now).

The Naked Truth About Naughty Nina

2009-09-23T21:08:00.002-05:00

"Those sheep shit on my pack."

"What are you worried about Debbie Klein for, anyway?
There are gonna be plenty of girls on this trip."
"Yeah, we're off to a great start."

"She means in the cinema... that film with John Wayne."
"Right! With Laurence Harvey. Everybody dies in it. Very bloody."
"Bloody awful, if you ask me!"

"YOU... made me miss.
I've never missed that board before."

"There's no food 'ere!"

"Beware the moon, lads."

"Where to now, Kessler? Duck's Breath?"

"That was a weird fuckin' place!"
"It was man. But, boy, they could play darts."

"Heathcliff didn't howl!"
"No, but he was on the moors."

"It's a cold and-a wet outta here!"

"It's a full moon. Beware the moon..."
"And, stick to the road. Oops."

"These dumbass kids.
They never appreciate anything you do for them!"

"Shall I be forced to feed you, David?"

"Life mocks me, even in death."

"Have you tried talking to a corpse? It's boring!"

"The wolf's bloodline must be severed.
The last remaining werewolf must be destroyed.
It's you, David."

"I'm a... werewolf."

"I will not be threatened by a walking meatloaf!"

"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum... I smell the blood of an Englishman."

"I didn't mean to call you meatloaf, Jack."

"I can assure you this is not the least bit amusing."

"Yes, love?"
"A naked American man stole my balloons."
"What?"

"Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot!
Winston Churchill was full of shit! Shakespeare's French!
Fuck! Shit! Cunt! Shit!"

"What you doin' 'ere?!
You promised never to do this kind of thing again!"
"I never promised you any such thing!"
"Not you, you twit. Her!"
"I've never met you before in my life!"
"Oh. Sorry."

"Good movie."
"Mm-hmm."

If you haven't figured it out by now, these are a few of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite films, John Landis' masterpiece...

The "Full Moon Edition" 2-disc DVD released last week and being the "AmWolf" nut that I am, I triple-dipped. Obviously, this release was designed to coordinate with Universal's remake of THE WOLFMAN (also featuring make-up effects by Rick Baker) which was supposed to release mid-October of this year, but has been pushed to February, 2010. At any rate, this edition succeeds Universal's previous "Collector's Edition" and cancels it out as it features all of the supplemental material from that disc, plus a new Rick Baker featurette and an all-new documentary...

This 100 minute retrospective exceeded my expectations, beautifully. Unlike an American-based retrospective that might only secure stateside talents like Landis, Baker, David Naughton and Griffin Dunne, this one's made by a Brit (John Davis) who has access to a great degree of the additional cast (i.e. Jenny Agutter, John Woodvine, David Schofield, et cetera), crew and, above all, the locations. (To see Davis walking down the same country roads, shot from the exact angles used for the film, really is a marvel.)

About the only two living actors missing from the documentary are Rik Mayall and Frank Oz. Nearly all other bases are covered. Amazing stuff and it's always a joy to hear Landis recount his experiences. Baker, Dunne, Schofield and Naughton are also quite entertaining.

Paul Davis (seen above with Naughton, Landis and Dunne) is a passionate fan after my own heart. Thanks, mate!

As for everyone else...
See You Next Wednesday!

To EP or Not EP...

2009-09-22T00:47:00.005-05:00

...that was my question.

Ignorance is often the reward of trying, particularly on eBay.

Being a nice guy, I used to let eBay sellers know when they've listed something erroneously. I'm a laserdisc fiend, so I often come across people passing CED video discs off as LDs, which is an entirely different format. Of course, this is done out of their not knowing just what darn fangled thing-a-ma-jig they got fer sale. "It says disc. It's a movie disc... with lasers. Shoot! I dunno! Let's put it on eBay and make a damn near forchin!" So, I used to send them a notice educating them on what they're selling and how it should be marketed, so they can sell the damned thing and not piss off their customers. Just a kind gesture on my part, but I stopped doing it long ago, because it's an unending cycle. I guarantee there's at least one such mistaken auction running right now.

But, when I'm interested in purchasing an item and must ask a legitimate question to seal my interest, and the response I get is so off the charts, well, it makes a fella kinda nuts.

I had such a wonderful moment today. I've got a lousy copy of SPYMAKER: THE SECRET LIFE OF IAN FLEMING (an EP release) and am always on the hunt for an SP mode release. So, when I see a VHS at a reasonable rate (it is a rare film) and such information is not supplied, I must ask the quality question.

So, here's a transcript of the encounter...

ME: Do you know what speed the videotape was recorded in, SP or EP/SLP?

SELLER: it is a comercial release vhs not a copy.

ME: I realize it's a commercial release and not a copy. That was not the intent of my question. SPYMAKER was manufactured and released twice by Turner Home Entertainment. Initially, in the superior SP format and later re-issued in the inferior EP mode (lesser quality). If it were EP, the information should be listed on the back of the cover. The actual gate on the videotape itself might be red, rather than black, distinguishing the different releases. If the tape were SP and you had mentioned it in your listing, you surely would have received a higher bid due to it's rarity.

Congratulations! You sold your copy for only $1.25, which, in either mode, the film is worth far more. Good job on your auctioning skills! Schmuck.

Okay, that last bit I added. A blog exclusive!

Punch Drunk Dragon Strike!

2009-09-09T18:12:00.005-05:00

And, now, the further adventures of my favorite IMDB idiot, "fistoffury"!

fistoffury on Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris:
If Paris ever has a boy child she might name him Michael.

My response:
Criswell predicts, ladies & gentlemen!

fistoffury on FIRESTARTER (1984):
So who is better, Charlie or Human Torch? I would say Human Torch, who goes by the name Johnny Storm, is better. He can create hotter fires not to mention shroud his body in flames. He can also fly. So Human Torch is cooler. FLAME ON!

My response:
Harvey Fierstein could scorch them both.

fistoffury on Jessica Koen*:
Jessica Koen is a complete loser. If people think that Jessica Simpson is a complete screw up, after all, she really hurt Nick, she then gets dumped by Tony and copes with it by getting drung and being a complete wreck, not even Jessica Simpson is as bad as this other Jessica, Jessica Koen. Jessica Koen indeed makes Jessica Simpson look like a decent person. Jessica Koen is the entire definition of mean, cruel, and destructive! She does nothing but betray people and stab people in the back and she will mess up anybody's life who she comes into contact with!

My response:
Isn't it also true that you have a general affection for anyone named "Jessica"?

fistoffury on Nick Lachey:
Its too bad that Nick isn't a Sith Lord. If he was he could do Force Lightning on Jessica, just like the Emperor did to Luke in ROTJ.

My response:
It's too bad that the population of your fantasy world is "one". Or, is that "negative one"?

fistoffury on YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION (1979):
Ross, the producer of the show, played by the late Les Lye, I don't remember him ever getting slimed or soaked from saying the magical words, "I don't know," or "water," but recently I stumbled upon some youtube videos that have multiple scenes of him getting repeatedly slimed and soaked. So does anybody know what that is from? I never did see him get slimed or soaked when I was watching the show.

My response:
The YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION wrap parties were the stuff of legend and quite notorious for that sort of thing. Not only were people getting slimed and soaked, they were also getting bonked, toasted, clobbered, oft-considered, wind-jammered, jan-hammered, spadoinked, cajoled, teetered, tossed, fadoodled, brackishly bridled, catnipped, lozenged, influxed and pepper-sprayed. The latter, of course, was certainly a "before it's time" occurrence, that managed to arrive right on schedule. The grate Kermit Schaeffer wrote a rather racy novella, which is the nearest thing next-to-impossible to find, based upon these particular extravaganzas and other backstage, off-camera tom foolery, entitled "What You Couldn't Do On Television, You Still Can't Do (...But, You Can Read About It All In This Here Book!)," printed only twice by Tamley Publications.

* I haven't the foggiest who Jessica Koen is either.

Anvil of Cromwell

2009-09-02T23:12:00.002-05:00

Is Oliver Stone a fan of the SPECIES films?

I asked myself this tonight as I watched SPECIES II. Having not seen the film in years, I forgot James Cromwell being in it. In the film he plays Senator Judson Ross, whose son Patrick, an astronaut-turned-possessed alien creature, has been up to no good with the ladies. Fearing such exploits could jeopardize his political reputation, he lectures Patrick, expressing his disappointment. During which, Cromwell spouts the line, "You're a Ross. Behave like one."

Hey, wait a minute!

Flash forward to ten years later in the Oliver Stone film, "W." (not to be confused with the Twiggy flick) where Cromwell portrays George Bush, Sr. and in a moment of disappointment over Bush, Jr.'s drunken antics, he spouts the line, “What do you think you are, a Kennedy?” “You're a Bush. Act like one.”

File this one under "Things that make me go... Hmmmm...."

The Real SPRING BREAK '83!

2009-08-26T23:42:00.006-05:00

I’ve been on a reminiscent kick, lately. But, that’s nothing new. It took the long-anticipated release of SPRING BREAK, Sean S. Cunningham's comedy classic, on DVD courtesy of Anchor Bay Entertainment, to hurdle me into re-watching a plethora of 1980s’ teenage/college sex comedies (more on that later). So, I watched quite a few, but I was saving one of the best for last. I finally sat down to watch SPRING BREAK again for the first time in nearly twenty years, and it, of course, was a total blast. I forgot how much I loved this film and picked up on so many elements I had missed before.

SPRING BREAK utilizes one of the common scenarios successful with these types of films: take four horny males and place them in a situation where beer, hormones and wacky situations are destined to flow. With that set-up, throw in some ample nudity, pranks and a great soundtrack and you almost can’t go wrong.

The great thing about this film is that it doesn’t follow that set-up to an exact “t.” Two nerdy types come down to Ft. Lauderdale for the week. They book a room in a hotel and due to a mishap, their room gets overbooked with another pair of males, polar opposite party types. Okay, so what? Well, here’s the thing I never noticed before and what also sets SPRING BREAK apart from the rest of the crowd. Never once is it mentioned that the nerdy types are “nerds.” Never once are they made fun of or put down for not having the same track record as their far more experienced roommates. All we have are four guys out for fun, despite their differences. While it might not be the most accurate approach, it stands out as something that, to my knowledge, hasn’t been addressed in any other film of this ilk. Most films in this genre rely upon such traits to build upon, plot-wise. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the chemistry among the principal leads (David Knell, Perry Lang, Paul Land and Steve Bassett) is a joy to watch, and could be the secret glue that makes this concept work.

Other great aspects to this film (as if I truly need to list them):

NRBQ’s “Me And The Boys” compliments the film perfectly. Oh, and Bobcat Goldthwait used it in SHAKES THE CLOWN years later. A tribute, perhaps?
Yep, that’s Jeff Garlin jumping in the pool in his film debut!
The enchanting Corinne Alphen chanting her desire to “Do It To You” certifies as possibly the ultimate boner ballad. (I’d love to hear The Donnas cover that one!)
Hey, Big Brother, are you watching? It’s Sheila Kennedy… topless!
.38 Special’s “Caught Up In You”. Such a great tune and so much more fun when you sing along, replacing the “little girl” with "Milton Berle."
Jayne Modean… YOWZA!
And, Richard Schull always makes for a good foil.

"That's a BINGO!"

2009-08-24T11:29:00.005-05:00

Roger Daltrey plus John Morghen plus Stan Laurel plus Donald Moffatt with a vocal dash of Werner Herzog equals: next year's Oscar shoe-in, Christoph Waltz for Quentin Tarantino's INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS.

This guy is amazing.

I could watch him chew the scenery (and not-so-terrible strudel) for several hours and never grow tired.

R.I.P. David Carradine

2009-06-03T15:23:00.001-05:00

(December 8, 1936 - June 3, 2009)

The free spirit has flown.
You will be missed, sir.

Dick Miller, The Legend

2009-05-06T22:32:00.005-05:00

Over the past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the fourth annual Texas Frightmare Weekend and while there were many highlights to the three-day celebration, one of my most treasured was getting the chance to meet one of my favorite talents, the quintessential character actor Dick Miller.

Here's the wonderful tribute compilation (in two parts) by Noel Gross made especially for this event. Enjoy!

Watch them here, in "scrunch-o-vision" or witness them as they were intended in their original full widescreen versions on YouTube.
PART ONE
PART TWO

Thanks to Noel and Loyd Cryer of TFW for the opportunity to meet one of my all-time heroes!

First Tap

2009-05-04T23:42:00.003-05:00

Spinal Tap's first appearance ever* circa 1979...

And, on the same program...
Nigel Tufnel talks Stonehenge in this five-part interview circa 2008...

Smell the glove HERE!

* (Wink!)

CineGames

2009-04-25T18:49:00.010-05:00

Here are a few online movie tie-in games that I've enjoyed over the years...

POKE-A-SHEMP
Release your inner Moe to the Shemp Howard which awaits!

REVENGE OF THE NERDS: PANTY RAID!
Do the Skolnick, but steer clear of them granny panties!

WILLY WONKA'S CONVEYOR BELT CHALLENGE
Box them Gobstoppers, Gene Wilder style, and avoid those dropping bombs! *

Too bad the OPEN WATER 2: ADRIFT "Shark Attack" game from Lionsgate is no longer. Simple, yet tedious game which tied-in with the DVD release of the sequel to OPEN WATER. Of course, if you've seen the sequel, you know that it truly wasn't one and had nothing to do with sharks of any kind. Nice.

* Not to be confused with Tim Burton's remake, or else the game might involve dropping turds.

Resurrecting THE WRESTLER

2009-04-21T19:43:00.001-05:00

Mickey Rourke's performance in THE WRESTLER will go down in history as the "one that got away". I know, it's only a popularity contest and I shouldn't care that much, but the disappointment of Sean Penn winning over Rourke in this year's Academy Awards runs deep.

In my not-so-humble opinion, Rourke deserved the win, all the way. No other actor had a role that complimented their career and personality so well. No other actor truly suffered for their role to the extent that Rourke did. And, for the record, none of this year's other Oscar nominees actually slashed their forehead with a razor blade for a scene. Rourke did. So there.

Random Musings: Jaws 2

2009-04-19T22:38:00.002-05:00

So, I had a bit of a JAWS marathon today.

During JAWS 2, after the sequence where Chief Martin Brody "starts a panic on a public beach" he receives an inspiring call from Phil Fogarty, with news of developed photos from the missing divers' camera. Brody arrives immediately and sees a couple of photos and presses Fogarty for more, to which Fogarty responds that he has another batch waiting to be developed. Together they venture into the dark room and process a mysterious photo which Brody is certain to prove his argument that another great white is at fault for the recent unexplained deaths and disappearances on the island.

With one look, he's convinced that's all the proof he needs, exclaiming, "That's the one," and marches off to the town hall meeting already-in-progress to present this evidence. Of course, no one sees what he sees, even after he's described that the shark's eye is clearly visible, along with a rather murky outline of the mouth.

So, during each viewing, I always come to the same conclusion:
Fogarty had an entire batch of undeveloped photos and Brody doesn't wait for anything further. A clear case of "woulda, coulda, shoulda" and Brody might have been able to present better evidence, thereby convincing the board and keeping his job as chief of police.

Instead, he loses the argument and position, leaving Deputy Hendricks in the wings (whose first name is "Lenny" in the original, but everyone involved on the production of the sequel seems to have forgotten that and insist on referring to him as "Jeff" after the actor's actual name).

Just a thought.

Random Musings: Grey Gardens

2009-04-18T22:31:00.005-05:00

Can't help but wonder if Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore shared any Carlo Rambaldi stories whilst filming together.

CineCraze Double Feature Trailer Show: Bruce Li A-Go-Go!

2009-04-11T22:06:00.003-05:00

(1976/1977)
Trailers for the Bruceploitation fests, BRUCE LEE: THE MAN, THE MYTH and EXIT THE DRAGON, ENTER THE TIGER, both starring Bruce Li (Ho Chung Tao).

The films BRUCE LEE: THE MAN, THE MYTH and EXIT THE DRAGON, ENTER THE TIGER and any relating promotional materials are public domain.

An EVIL retread...

2009-03-17T00:49:00.000-05:00

Just came across this comment from Sam Raimi.
My opinion follows.

"I have talked with my partners about having a young director come in and remake EVIL DEAD. That film was made in 16mm on a shoestring budget and blown up to 35mm. The visual effects are crummy, it was done in mono, not even stereo, let alone 5.1. What you could do with it now would be so much better. I think if you had a new director using the full power of 35mm and 5.1 sound, you could really make a pretty socko presentation. It was always meant for the big screen, but never really seen on the big screen."

You know, I am gut-clenchingly sick of remakes and a remake like this is the worst kind. Why? Because, it's truly a sad case when a filmmaker like Raimi, whom I thought I idolized, really doesn't understand the impact of his little shoestring 16mm mono film. Raimi obviously knows the monetary potential of the concept, but is it necessary to bemoan a film that didn't have today's technical "luxuries" at it's disposal?

THE EVIL DEAD should never be considered "crummy," old or lame. You won't see George Romero, John Carpenter or Tobe Hooper talking shit about their independent seminal slices. That's because they are of a different class. They understand that their films, despite whatever limitations, are cinematic achievements and a document of the times in which they were made. I never thought I'd say this, but "Mr. Raimi, you are a fool." And, to think that I thought you were a true renaissance man. For shame!

Now, run along and make your cookie-cutter SPIDER-MAN blockbusters for the m'asses to enjoy.

Alas...

2009-03-02T00:04:00.006-06:00

Sandy: "Danny... is this the end?"
Danny: "Of course not... it's only the beginning."

Indeed it is, Zucco!
That goes for both Danny and George!

Anyhow, I refused to be depressed and "out of sort" over the whole YouTube yankfest, so I've created another channel. In a way, this could turn out to be a good thing, a fresh start. This channel is actually the sister site to this blog, or vice versa, depending on your area of travel. I'm not exactly sure what I want to do with it, perhaps the dreaded "vlogging" with reviews and such. Of course, I could show off my movie collection, but aren't there quite enough of those being showcased? Also, I'm not one to grandstand (too much).

Expect the occasional trailer, TV spot, radio spot or promo. Unsure as to whether I should re-post any of my compilations or the Double Feature Trailer Shows. Whatever I choose to do, I'll explain here.

Anywayz...
If you'd like to subscribe to "my new you," please do. Friend requests and comments are gladly welcomed. So, here's the LINKAGE already!

TELL YOUR FRIENDS (IF YOU HAVE THEM)!

Happy trails...
-Nathan

From the ashes...

2009-03-01T22:26:00.010-06:00

So, it's been a while. A long while.

Not that there hasn't been anything to write about, or the desire to do so... I'll own up to being lazy. We'll just leave it at that, shall we?

A lame thing happened to me on Friday. Actually, in an odd way, it was a good thing. Good enough to bring me out of my writer's block, at least.

Typical Friday morning when I'm not working, I check my e-mail and login to my various "communication sites". Off I went to YouTube. I was pleased to be greeted by another of AustrailianRoadshow's private video offerings in my inbox. I clicked on it, left the room for a bit while it was loading, came back and my YouTube account was closed. Gone forever or "suspended permanently" in YT terms.

What happened? Well, during this same time that I'm on there, an account created that same day, seemingly for that exact purpose, filed claim of copyright infringement over one of my videos. The video in question was titled "Winkles Cereal," a commercial parody excerpt from the 1977 film, PRIME TIME. The company filing the claim was Taurus Entertainment. Taurus claimed ownership of the film's copyright, which I seriously question because, to my knowledge, the film's rights were never renewed and have since fallen into the public domain.

A little back history on PRIME TIME...
PRIME TIME was another in the string of sketch comedy films of the 1970s, an era that truly began with Ken Shapiro's remarkable THE GROOVE TUBE. I loved this genre. Anyhow, each of these films were independent and never financed by a major studio, yet PRIME TIME was the exception. Warner Bros. produced PRIME TIME and held the initial copyright, yet got cold feet about distributing it due to it's raucious nature. Cannon Film Distributors (pre-Golan-Globus) released the film briefly in theaters and licensed it's home video usage (along with many other Cannon titles) to Paragon Video Productions in 1982. Of course, Paragon is long gone, but some of the films on that label, particularly the Cannon titles, have seen a resurgence with other companies, yet PRIME TIME never did. I believe it's last printing was circa '84-'85.

So, nothing happened with the film and, presumably, since it wasn't a Cannon production in the first place, rights were never renewed and the film began resurfacing over 20 years later in DVD movie collections chock full of public domain material. Not to mention that some PD sites have listed it, along with other sketch comedy films like TUNNEL VISION and LOOSE SHOES, as being in the public domain.

Which brings me to Taurus Entertainment...

Where do you guys get off?! As a corporation, I dug you back in the day. Waaaayyyyy back in the day, like late '80s, maybe early '90s. We're talkin' BEST OF THE BEST era, those TWO EVIL EYES days. And, yeah, I know you hold copyright on George A. Romero's epic DAY OF THE DEAD, even though you didn't make it. So, that's where my interest ends with you. Your acquisition of those rights has poisoned your blood stream with ideas of bank-off possibilities. Like soiling the legacy of the great Romero with... dun-dun-dun... DAY OF THE DEAD 2: CONTAGION. Newsflash! DAY OF THE DEAD is already a sequel to two other films, so, you can't make a PART TWO to something that's already a PART THREE. Who in the hell do you think you are? NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION 2?! If that weren't enough, you had to then spoil the hopes and dreams of Romero's fan base with CREEPSHOW III. For years, we've been begging for a third CREEPSHOW, only, we wanted a quality film from Romero and co., or at least, one with his blessing. Instead, we got your so-called sequel. That film receives the "Whuh the fuh?" award for when I stumbled upon it at the new release wall. Have I seen it? Nope. Should I see it? Nope. Same with DAY OF THE DEAD 2: CONTAGION? Yep.

Then, we have the "time to make the donuts" award for the DAY OF THE DEAD remake. The remake that came one year after you decided to make a sequel to the original?! That's right. What's up, Taurus Ent? CONTAGION didn't bring in the big bucks you wanted? Too bad. Have I seen your remake of DAY OF THE DEAD? Nope. Why not? Because, I'm on to your game, and much like an old girlfriend, after a while, you just don't care anymore. I'm so over you piss cats and Friday's seizure of my nearly 4-year-old account has sealed it with a most deadly kiss. You guys suck, for good. And, I still don't believe that you own PRIME TIME. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure of it.

At any rate, that's said and done.
There's no going back, unfortunately.

In loving memory...
"youtube.com/johnmorghen"
(2006 - 2009)

[PLACE YOUR CHOSEN MOMENT OF SILENCE HERE]

Just for kicks...
Here's Taurus' account, which, as mentioned before, was ironically created the day of my channel's demise.

Remembering Remember My Name

2009-02-15T01:55:00.007-06:00

I've been thinking about this film recently. It's a damn shame that Columbia Pictures never bothered to release this forgotten gem on home video. Boggles my mind actually. How can you not re-issue an Altman-produced film written and directed by Alan Rudolph? Could it be that REMEMBER MY NAME is actually more obscure than BARN OF THE NAKED DEAD?!

I was lucky enough to see it in the early '90s, courtesy of Cinemax Vanguard. As far as I know, that was the last time it has ever aired. Had I known it would have a lasting impression on me, along with it's rarity, I would have had the sense to record it. Why IFC, Sundance or TCM hasn't recognized it's potential and granted viewings is beyond me.

No one that I know has seen or heard of the film. Arguably, this is Geraldine Chaplin's finest performance and Anthony Perkins is perfect as the man in her sights. Backed by an assembly of Alberta Hunter songs, this is a slow-burn character study that proves to be truly haunting.

Needless to say, I would love to be haunted by this effective film once again.

The You Betchum Depot: JAWS Action Figures

2008-12-18T16:41:00.004-06:00

Being a life-long JAWS fanatic, I always wanted a toy line.
Forget the Matchbox Amity Police car or even the McFarlane Orca scene, I just wanted some damn action figures to fit nicely with the giant, snapping shark with the rubber-banded-jaws from my ol' JAWS game.

Apparently other finatics have wanted the same thing. Some have even gone to the lengths of creating them for themselves.

Here's a link to an article at JAWSmovie.com showcasing the devotion of one such fan, Mike Lorenz.

Pretty damn cool, but I can't help remarking that the Hooper fig looks nothing like Richard Dreyfuss to me. Resembles either Hugo Stiglitz or a bearded Cornel Wilde. Perhaps a series of TINTORERA or SHARK'S TREASURE figures are in Lorenz's future?

No laughing matter...

2008-11-29T12:26:00.006-06:00

I recently came across this DVD at a video store and a cringe-inducing moment ensued.

Of course, I didn't bother with the first SLAP SHOT sequel/abomination, but this latest entry makes that film look appealing... nearly THE GODFATHER, PART II-like by comparison.
Oy.

Anyhow, I couldn't help scouring the IMDB boards for the eventual reviews by those who fell victim to the curse of the extremely bad straight-to-video sequel. You know, the morons who weigh in with "This was horrible!" Yeah, no shit. Maybe it's my street skills, but I gathered that by simply looking at the cover. (Key words: Universal Family Home Entertainment)

Below is my reply in response to an IMDB thread titled "Where Are The Hanson Brothers?"

How about, where are the Hanson Brothers right at this moment? Perhaps, they're in an office somewhere, going over DVD sales totals and signing contracts for:
SLAP SHOTS 4: BROKEN ICE & FART JOKES
SLAP SHOT 5: BENEATH ALL EXPECTATIONS
SLAP SHOT 6: TO THE NUTS
SLAP SHOT 7: IS THIS THING ON?
SLAP SHOT 8: STEPHEN BALDWIN'S BACK!
and, the oft-anticipated 9th entry...
HANSONS GO TO HELL: THE FINAL SLAP SHOT

In closing, a reply to another thread on the subject...
It's best not to associate this film with Paul Newman's legacy, in any way. SLAP SHOT was never meant to be THE BAD NEWS BEARS and finally we have a fate worse than viewing the original in it's crudely edited-for-television form... a wholesome, family-friendly sequel.

But, that's just my opinion.
(And, yes. I doctored the DVD image above ...appropriately.)