Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's Alive-like!

I've never been a big fan of children and I wasn't sure if I wanted one of my own... until now!
The IT'S ALIVE Baby Latex Puppet!

How cool is this?! An item I never knew existed, I now must own.
Let me get this straight... Sixty-two dollars for an official life-size puppet/replica of the infamous mutant baby, created by Rick Baker, from IT'S ALIVE?!
My only suggestion, would be to add a built-in sound machine, featuring those ghastly vocal effects from the film. Perhaps, I'll have to do that myself. And, then, I'll have to purchase a crib. I'll make sure to hang a special radio off the side (it will play nothing but Bernard Herrmann lullabyes).

And, the baby... I think I'll name him Larco.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

007 Royale

For today's post, I thought I might steal a passage from another blog and I will not credit the author for their own sake (as said person is clearly a moron). Note that I've copied and pasted it "as is" and had nothing to do with the misspelling of "colony" or the completely wrong middle initial for Albert Broccoli. My comment/rebuttal follows.

The credit of being the worst Bond movie should go to Casino Royale. The review sites that gave high ranking to this dumb movie were surely bribed by the producer.

Why this movie sucks? Very simple. There's no Q, no gadgets, no Miss Moneypenny, and no action scenes except for the one in the first 15 minutes. Disgrace to the name of Albert I. Broccoli... he would surely had a heart attack if he got the chance to watch this movie. Even the 20 year old Bond movies featured underground bunkers, underwater action, hand to hand combat in sky, space collony, what not? It featured sexiest girls, stunning cars, an array of high-tech equipments, guns, explosives, and much more. And Casino Royale? Nothing! Bond drives a Ford, gets beaten by the baddie on the balls, plays card for eons, and amazingly falls in love! He couldn't even save his girl... how pathetic is that? Is this the James Bond 007 that we've seen in the last 20 movies? Surely not. Casino Royale has surely killed the image of James Bond.And by the way, the new hero Daniel Craig looks a lot like one of those Russian baddies from the previous movies... doesn't he've a lot of resemblance with President Vladimir Putin?

To which I wrote:
You've missed the point of the film entirely. Perhaps you prefer special effects-laden films like "Moonraker" and "Die Another Day" to the grittier character-driven pieces such as "From Russia With Love" and "On Her Majesty's Secret Service". "Casino Royale" belongs to the latter category and serves as a welcome take on a great character which has suffered total exaggeration (bordering on absurdity) over the years. Back to basics, pure and simple.

Ugh. Whether you enjoyed CASINO ROYALE or not, the fact remains that it is one of the best Bond films. Series inconsistencies aside, CR is faithful to the original template of the secret agent found in the writings of its creator, Ian Fleming. It has always been astonishing to me, the level of so-called "Bond fans" who haven't read a single Fleming novel. Granted, the films are elaborations on ideas introduced in his works, but the source material is important to fully comprehend the initial scope of the character.

When Steven Spielberg's JAWS was the first film to break the 100 million box office mark, the Hollywood blockbuster was born. As a result, the Bond franchise took on a much grander scale in order to compete. The first Bond film since that period was THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (which ironically introduced a new villain by the name of "Jaws"), establishing a new trend in over-the-top "Bondian" trademarks. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY was intended as the next adventure brought to the screen, but a change of plans quickly put MOONRAKER into development as a deliberate move to benefit from the then-fresh STAR WARS phenomenon.

Bond didn't truly get back to basics for another ten years (FYEO being a bit of an exception) with Timothy Dalton's arrival to the role in THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS. After Dalton's second film, LICENCE TO KILL, and a series hiatus that lasted six years, a new decade and the potential for a whole new generation of fans prompted the Bond to, once again, become larger than life. GOLDENEYE was the result. Just as the Roger Moore films had done, the Pierce Brosnan films continually topped each other (TOMORROW NEVER DIES being, probably, the most realistic) until the point of CGI absurdity with DIE ANOTHER DAY.

Having said that, being the die-hard Bond fanatic that I am, there's not a film in the series that I don't enjoy (my least faves being MOONRAKER and THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH), but a re-haul of the franchise had to be done and the casting of a new Bond proved as the perfect impetus and opportunity to do so.

To say that I've been excited by the upcoming release of the new 007 adventure, QUANTUM OF SOLACE, is an understatement! I'm confident that Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli will deliver the goods, once again.


Here is the latest replacement DVD coverart I've been working on, a custom cover for the upcoming 3-disc "collector's edition" of CASINO ROYALE (Bond 21), designed to match the "ultimate edition" releases of the previous Bond films...

You're entirely welcome!

For added fun, try working any of these Bond titles into a conversation, as if they're common catch phrases:
A few examples:
  • "Well, it turns out the tumor is benign. I guess you'll have to die another day, Phil!"
  • "Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life and tomorrow never dies. Therefore, you're pretty much immortal!"
  • "I'll be paying off that Zale's receipt for the rest of my life. Oh well, diamonds are forever!"
And, if you're writing a love letter whilst vacationing in Russia (or your name is Russia), then you're clearly ahead of the game!

Jaws TV

I came across these YouTube offerings recently and I can't stop watching them. First of all, I'm a sucker for all things JAWS and second, I remember (and relish) the times when "network television premieres" were treated as an event.

I was born in late '76 and far too young to see ABC's network premiere of JAWS in 1979, but I do remember seeing the premiere of JAWS 2 in '81... and it was a big deal.

Here was an era when you knew weeks in advance (via television ad saturation) that a certain film was going to air and nearly everyone you knew were also planning to watch it. If it was a Sunday night thing, then you most definitely talked about it at school the next day. Not to mention those terrific TV Guide ads that, depending on the film, could take up an entire page. Great, great stuff. I miss those salad days!

Special thanks to YouTube user KLXT77 for posting these gems!