Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I've been punished...


I'm a huge fan of the SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT film series.

Most folks either love the films or loathe them. For me, they're all guilty pleasures. Never 100% genre classics in the conventional sense (the first is the closest, while the 3rd has the benefit of a most-skilled director, Monte Hellman), but fun nonetheless.

So, I've beeen waiting feverishly (okay, not really) for December 11th to arrive, so I could check out the latest DVD release of the original by Anchor Bay. Of course, this isn't the first time SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT has appeared on DVD. Anchor Bay previously released a double feature DVD in 2003, containing the original film in it's uncut, restored form along with the notoriously bad SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, PART 2.



While I was thrilled to have these films on DVD, it always irritated me that neither a theatrical trailer nor TV spot was included for the first film (there was a trailer included for "Part 2"). How could this be? Anyone who knows the history of SNDN also knows that the film itself wasn't the cause for the tremendous uproar from parental groups everywhere. Rather, it was the actual publicity materials (movie posters and televised commercial spots, especially) that sparked the true controversy. There had already been Christmas-themed horror films, some even involved Santa-suited psychopathic slasher fiends, but none of which received the degree of SNDN's multimedia marketing saturation. These were the ads that freaked out the mass public and ultimately won SNDN it's forbidden reputation. Overwhelmed by the astounding negative attention (including a slew of horrible reviews), the film's distributor, Tri-Star Pictures, withdrew it from circulation and eventually disowned the film entirely. Ironically, Tri-Star distributed the (north) polar-opposite, family-friendly SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE the following year.


Perhaps, I've been spoiled, but I've come to expect such goodies from Anchor Bay and I was truly disappointed to find that no trailers or TV spots were made available. So, when I learned of a new edition, I was hopeful that it might include SOMETHING more... anything. With the latest DVD firmly in hand, my eyes delighted to the words "theatrical trailer" advertised prominently on the back cover. That was all the incentive I needed to plop $13 at the checkout counter. Sadly, after a quick spin in my DVD player, I discovered these words held no such relevance. No trailer to be found. Even though the packaging boasts "one of the most controversial slasher films of all time... uncut, uncensored and back like never before," this is the exact same pressing as the '03 release. Such a phrase should indicate a fresh presentation of sorts. If by "like never before" Anchor Bay truly meant that this release features newer, over-blurbed packaging and that the disc is no longer a double-sided double feature, then perhaps the statement is correct.



On the subject of having no new special features, why didn't Anchor Bay consider doing an interview with Miss Linnea Quigley just for this disc? It could have been easy. They actually had such an opportunity after previously interviewing her for their NIGHT OF THE DEMONS release. "Hey, Linnea... might we ask about SILENT NIGHT now... for a possible future DVD re-release?" Guess not.

To summarize, really what we have here is a re-hash of Part 1 only, in exactly the same presentation as before. The catch being that this DVD is in print while the other is not. I want my thirteen dollars back... like never before!

NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Mashed Potatoes!



Here's my latest nod. A "mash-up" (that's what the kids call 'em, these daze) of movie trailer moments that are all movie, all from trailers and are all actual moments! Would you believe?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Popcorn... SCHMOPCORN!

That's right, popcorn fiends, I hate all of you! While I'm not a big fan of it, generally, I don't have a disdain for the poppycorn, but the drowning sounds made by it's natching consumers is what irks my gurk! Why are people determined to NOT close their mouths whilst chewing on this confection? It's as if everytime I go to a picture show, I'm surrounded by bubble gum poppin' Pink Ladies and that just can't be right. Can it?!

My friend Sean (not to be confused with Martin & Lewis' film debut, MY FRIEND IRMA) and I have shared the same thought that if we were to own a movie theater, in a perfect world filled with blue skies and fluffy cotton candy clouds, that we wouldn't serve popcorn. On one hand, it would be sacrilegious to not offer the food forever linked to the film-going experience, but on the other hand, it might prove to be a refreshing change of pace. But, then, there's cheese flavored popcorn, which never gets the recognition it deserves...

Just a thought.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

3D Video

I've often passed by this place. It's an Asian video rental outlet, with an odd and somewhat confusing name. What's the 3D in reference to? One of these days, I'm going to make it my mission to pester the employees at this store by demanding three-dimensional films in both the anaglyphic and field-sequential formats. "Yes, do you have METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN? How about SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE? You know, the one with Peter Strauss! What about TREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS, BLONDE EMMANUELLE or KISS ME KATE? Surely, you must have those titles in stock! What kind of a 3-D rental store are you running here?! You don't even have an Earl Owensby section?! Ridiculous!"

Fleece out.


UPDATE: 04/23/08
Store no longer in biz.

CineCraze Double Feature Trailer Show

Do you love theatrical trailers? Really?! Me too!
There's a new sheriff in town!
Announcing the CINECRAZE DOUBLE FEATURE TRAILER SHOW!
That's right, kiddies! Double means more than one!
Two... count 'em... TWO trailers on the same program!
That's TWO trailers to TWO different films (unless I goof) on the same mind-numbing double bill! Can your heart stand it?! It should, since they're all completely 100% free of any cholesterol of any sort!


So, check 'em out! Updating regularly and irregularly, just like this blog! Awesome!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Tinto Brass sighting at Wal-Mart!



You know, I never thought I'd see the day when Tinto Brass' troubled epic, CALIGULA, would grace the shelves of a Wal-Mart. Sure, it's the rated version, but still... it's CALIGULA ...at Wal-Mart!

I was tempted to ask the sales associate if they planned on carrying other Tinto Brass films, such as FRIVOLOUS LOLA, THE KEY and MIRANDA (starring Serena GGGGRRRRRandi). Of course, I already know the answer to that one. "Huh? Not sure on those titles, although we should be getting a shipment of ALL LADIES DO IT and a horde of Aristide Massacesi fare by next week, sir. Sam Walton was always a fan."

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Midnite On A Tuesday Morning

Tuesday is DVD new release day and this particular Tuesday marks a special occasion: the return of MGM's Midnite Movies! The usual Midnite Movies ritual began at 8:05 am at Fry's Electronics (my seemingly home away from home). I decided earlier that I would pass on any of the higher priced releases, such as "From Beyond" and "The Return Of The Living Dead" Special Edition (both were $14.99) and "The Fly" Collection at $29.99(!), and shop strictly for all the MGM/Fox titles at $9.99 each.

I was in and out within fifteen minutes and got everything I had planned on. Mission accomplished!

Midnite Movies (MGM):
  • THE FOOD OF THE GODS
  • WITCHFINDER GENERAL
  • THE BEAST WITHIN / THE BAT PEOPLE
  • THE PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES / THE BEAST WITH A MILLION EYES
  • THE RETURN OF DRACULA / THE VAMPIRE
  • YONGARY, MONSTER OF THE DEEP / KONGA


Midnite Movies (Fox):

  • CHOSEN SURVIVORS / THE EARTH DIES SCREAMING
  • DEVILS OF DARKNESS / WITCHCRAFT
  • GORILLA AT LARGE / MYSTERY ON MONSTER ISLAND
  • THE HOUSE ON SKULL MOUNTAIN / THE MEPHISTO WALTZ
  • TALES FROM THE CRYPT / VAULT OF HORROR


Misc. MGM releases:

  • THE BURNING
  • SCARECROWS
  • THE CURSE / CURSE II: THE BITE


Needless to say, I've got quite the task this evening.


UPDATE:
The Fox releases are clearly the winner as most all feature special features (theatrical trailers and/or photo galleries) as none (with the exception of a featurette on WITCHFINDER GENERAL) of the MGM titles do.
UPDATE, UPDATE:
Take one step back, 20th Century-Fox! Your TALES FROM THE CRYPT / VAULT OF HORROR DVD is only half right as the print for VAULT has been edited horribly (no pun intended).


Friday, May 25, 2007

IMDB Idiot of the Moment: fistoffury



The following was originally posted on IMDB
The place: Message boards for Alia Shawkat
Look for me, "johnmorghen"!

Thread: "Not that good looking" by fistoffury

fistoffury:
Alia is not all that good looking, she is at best, grungy looking. This is best seen in movies such as Deck the Halls where she looks so plain and mediocre next to those two twin knockouts. So I dont see why people are going head over heels for her, she isnt all that great.

Long story short is that he pisses off her fans with such a comment and I eventually jump in, having also researched fistoffury's message board history, which, turns out to be quite as sad and immature as his recent comment.

johnmorghen:
Just so everyone knows, "fistoffury" is a sad case, and when he isn't posting crap like this or thought-provoking debates such as "Unicron vs. Superman" or "MacGyver Vs. Jigsaw," he enjoys berating various actors and characters. Here are two samples from his message board history:

Hayden is a girl's name!!!
"Just so you all know, Hayden is a girl's name! Therefore Hayden Christensen is a boy with a girl's name! ha ha HA! You see, there is this girl, Hayden, who stars in this television show called Heroes. Hayden is the name of the actress, whose a girl, therefore, Hayden Christensen has a girl's name. That must be very embarrassing for him."

OR, this gem:

Kermit and Fozzie are gay
"Especially in this muppet movie, its made obvious enough that Kermit and Fozzie are gay. The earlier muppet movies hint at their homosexuality but this one really hits home. Kermit, who sings the song "Rainbow Connection" is unusually neat, and who is delicate and feminine, we know from that much hes gay. Fozzie immediately hooks up with him in the first muppet movie and they stay closely hooked throughout the rest of their careers as muppets, the two are unseperable. In this movie, as well as some of the earlier movies Kermit has a hard time returning Miss Piggy's affections. In this movie, when they all split up and Fozzie goes into hybernating, when a female bear snuggles up to him he screams for Kermit. In this movie when Piggy and Kermit get married Kermit is hesitant to say "I do." The whole wedding was just an obvious cover up for Kermit's homosexuality and for his affairs with Fozzie. The real ending would show Kermit and Fozzie going off into the sunset together."

Anyone's desire to post on an IMDB message board for an actor whom they do not like, to criticize them while offending true fans, should speak volumes about their insecurities and their lack of well-spent personal time. "fistoffury" is immature to say the least and these posts concerning Alia Shawkat should be dismissed entirely.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

"L'Ultimo Horror Philm"




Here's the opening title sequence from my final horror compilation (the sixth in a series; produced in 1996) featuring dozens of film clips. Vintage nathanville entertainment! Pleasant screams!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Film House Fever (1979-1995)



To appease myself, I've opted to compile a growing list of all the films I've seen theatrically (yes, I was bored when I came up with the idea). Since I've had a mental block (i.e. 1982), I might occasionally update with further specifics, such as: actual theaters, multiple screenings and Disney re-releases (saw a ton in the '80s, just not sure what year), et cetera. Most all titles are first-run, unless otherwise indicated.

The list is divided by year from 1979 (my first theatrical experience) to 1995 (my theorized cut off, since I actually enjoyed everything I saw theatrically up to that point).

1979

  • THE MUPPET MOVIE

1980

  • THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
  • POPEYE
  • NINE TO FIVE *
  • SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT, PART II *
  • STAR WARS (Re-release)


1981

  • CLASH OF THE TITANS
  • THE FOX AND THE HOUND
  • THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER
  • THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN *
  • THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER
  • SUPERMAN II


1982

  • ANNIE
  • E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL

1983

  • A CHRISTMAS STORY
  • THE CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER
  • JAWS 3-D
  • RETURN OF THE JEDI ***
  • SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
  • STAYING ALIVE *
  • THE TOY *

1984

  • CITY HEAT
  • GHOSTBUSTERS
  • INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
  • THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN
  • PINOCCHIO
  • ROMANCING THE STONE
  • STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK

1985

  • BABY: SECRET OF THE LOST LEGEND
  • BACK TO THE FUTURE
  • THE COLOR PURPLE
  • E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (Re-release)
  • FLETCH
  • RETURN TO OZ
  • ROCKY IV
  • A VIEW TO A KILL

1986

  • THE GOLDEN CHILD
  • THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE
  • HOWARD THE DUCK *
  • THE KARATE KID, PART II
  • LABYRINTH
  • LADY AND THE TRAMP (Re-release)
  • LEGAL EAGLES ***
  • POLICE ACADEMY 3: BACK IN TRAINING
  • SHORT CIRCUIT
  • STAND BY ME
  • STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME ***
  • TOUGH GUYS

1987

  • *batteries not included
  • BLIND DATE
  • BORN IN EAST L.A.
  • DIRTY DANCING
  • HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS
  • JAWS: THE REVENGE
  • LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON
  • MANNEQUIN
  • MOONSTRUCK
  • OVERBOARD
  • THE PICK-UP ARTIST
  • POLICE ACADEMY 4: CITIZENS ON PATROL
  • PROJECT X
  • ROXANNE
  • SPACEBALLS
  • TEEN WOLF TOO
  • THREE MEN AND A BABY

1988

  • ARTHUR 2: ON THE ROCKS
  • BEETLEJUICE
  • BIG
  • BILOXI BLUES
  • CROCODILE DUNDEE II
  • LICENSE TO DRIVE
  • THE MILAGRO BEANFIELD WAR
  • SWITCHING CHANNELS
  • TEQUILA SUNRISE
  • THROW MOMMA FROM THE TRAIN
  • TWINS
  • VICE VERSA
  • WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?
  • WILLOW

1989

  • BATMAN
  • BLACK RAIN
  • GHOSTBUSTERS II
  • HER ALIBI
  • HIGH SPIRITS
  • LETHAL WEAPON 2
  • LOOK WHO'S TALKING
  • NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION ***
  • PARENTHOOD
  • UNCLE BUCK

1990

  • AIR AMERICA
  • ARACHNOPHOBIA
  • AWAKENINGS
  • DANCES WITH WOLVES
  • DICK TRACY
  • EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
  • GHOST
  • HOME ALONE
  • THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER ***
  • LIONHEART
  • OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS
  • PRESUMED INNOCENT
  • STANLEY & IRIS
  • TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: THE MOVIE
  • THREE MEN AND A LITTLE LADY
  • YOUNG GUNS II

1991

  • THE ADDAMS FAMILY
  • CITY SLICKERS
  • DOC HOLLYWOOD
  • THE FISHER KING
  • FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE
  • HOOK
  • HOT SHOTS!
  • JFK
  • THE LAST BOY SCOUT
  • PROBLEM CHILD 2
  • ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES
  • SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY
  • STAR TREK VI: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY
  • TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY
  • WHAT ABOUT BOB?

1992

  • ALIEN³
  • BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA
  • HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK
  • HOUSESITTER
  • LADYBUGS
  • MO' MONEY
  • MY COUSIN VINNY
  • SCENT OF A WOMAN
  • UNDER SIEGE
  • UNFORGIVEN
  • UNLAWFUL ENTRY
  • WAYNE'S WORLD ***

1993

  • CARLITO'S WAY
  • CLIFFHANGER
  • DRAGON: THE BRUCE LEE STORY
  • FALLING DOWN
  • THE FIRM
  • GRUMPY OLD MEN
  • JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY
  • LAST ACTION HERO
  • LETHAL WEAPON 3
  • NATIONAL LAMPOON'S LOADED WEAPON 1
  • THE PROGRAM (Uncut)
  • RISING SUN
  • SCHINDLER'S LIST
  • SOMMERSBY
  • SPLITTING HEIRS
  • WAYNE'S WORLD 2
  • WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S II

1994

  • ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE
  • THE CROW ***
  • DUMB AND DUMBER ***
  • KILLING ZOE
  • MAJOR LEAGUE II
  • THE MASK
  • MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE **
  • NATURAL BORN KILLERS
  • PULP FICTION ***
  • STAR TREK: GENERATIONS
  • TRUE LIES

1995

  • BATMAN FOREVER (OR.)
  • CONGO (OR.)
  • DESPERADO (TX.)
  • DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE (OR.)
  • FATHER OF THE BRIDE, PART II (TX.)
  • GOLDENEYE (TX.)
  • GRUMPIER OLD MEN (OR.)
  • HACKERS (TX.)
  • HALLOWEEN ** (OR.)
  • HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (TX.)
  • HEAT (TX.)
  • LORD OF ILLUSIONS (TX.)
  • MORTAL KOMBAT (OR.)
  • OUTBREAK *** (OR.)
  • THE PROPHECY (TX.)
  • PSYCHO (1960) ** (OR.)
  • SPECIES (OR.)
  • TANK GIRL (OR.)
  • UNDER SIEGE 2: DARK TERRITORY (OR.)
  • VIRTUOSITY (I actually despised this one.) (OR.)
  • WATERWORLD (I initially enjoyed this one, but my belief is that I was desperate for another "Mad Max" clone, and it had been a while since my last viewing of "Exterminators In The Year 3000". ACK!) (OR.)

    * Midway Drive-In
    ** OSU Campus Screening
    *** Multiple Screening