Friday, March 03, 2006

Mansion Of The Doomed

Nothing quite says love and devotion like MANSION OF THE DOOMED. No, I'm not suggesting a future Valentine's gift for that special someone (although, the DVD did come out recently and it might get you more sugar than a previously viewed Bingo brand VHS could).

For whatever reason, I really dig this bizarre film. The late, great Richard Basehart stars as Dr. Chaney, an eye surgeon determined to make medical history by restoring eyesight to the blind, with the help of some unwitting and unwilling donors. His blind daughter is his test subject. The first surgery goes alright, except that her vision cuts off shortly after, provoking Chaney to seek another donor. Needless to say, the following surgery has the same side effect, causing the determined Chaney to prey upon nearly every acquaintance he meets, subjecting his daughter to countless additional surgeries. Soon he has a collection of "the eyeless" in his laboratory. Clearly Chaney doesn't follow the wisdom of the great W.C. Fields. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no sense making a damn fool of yourself!" So many victims, so little eyesight, what to do, what to do, tisk, tisk...

SEE Lance Henriksen get his eyeballs "lanced," and therefore he can no longer SEE!
HEAR the continual moaning of Dr. Chaney's eyeless prisoners!
SEE an escapee hit by a passing motor vehicle. They can't see, remember?!
HEAR an unauthorized cue from Pink Floyd's "Welcome To The Machine" in an early nightmare sequence!
FEEL cheated by the fact that exploitation film goddess Marilyn Joi bares no extra skin!
KNOW that actor Michael Pataki directed this film and also collaborated with producer Charles Band again on ZOLTAN... HOUND OF DRACULA!
DIG the entire affair from beginning to end!